Stay alive
by GygyFr
Summary: Taking place five years after the end of Buried Alive (it's a SEQUEL), Matt and Gabby decided to live their life as normal as possible with their little girl Eliza. But a gang war in a neighborhood could change everything...
1. The beginning of your story

Hello everyone! I hope you're up for a new story! I promised this one for a few weeks now, because it's the sequel to 'Buried alive'. I had this idea when I was sleeping. When I got up, there was a tilt in my head. Nobody had trully think about a story like this, and I hope you will like, because it will be a bit weird (well, I think it's very very very weird but...). I won't update this story like the others because I just have this chapter in my pocket. Hope you will like :-)

Anyway, I can't tell you much (obviously, otherwise I will spoil you), but here it is : when two people love each other, they can't be separated, no matter what obstables. They stay an united family.

 **SUMMARY:** this story takes place about five years after the end of 'Buried alive', Eliza is about five then. Matt and Gabriela got married and bought a house in the same neighbourhood to have more than two bedrooms. Sylvie (Brett) and Kelly finally expressed their love for each other two years before the beginning of this story and are living together since then. Mouch's wedding is on top, and so is Hermann's.

There are several new guys in the firehouse :

\- Battalion 25: Casey (who is the chief in firehouse 51).

\- Truck 81 : the lieutenant is Hermann (one of the first decisions Casey took as a chief), and the driver is still Otis. The other firefighter : Kidd, Mouch, Borelli and the new guy Enzo McKenzie (also called Mac).

\- Squad 3 : the lieutenant is Severide (since captain Paterson got transferred to firehouse 90), and the driver is still Tony. The other firefighters : Capp, Cruz and Dawson (yeah, Gabriela Dawson, the one and only).

\- Ambulance 61: Sylvie Brett is still the PIC, and Chout obtained a permanent place.

 **DISCLAIMERS :** I don't own any characters coming from the three Chicago series.

Oh : And be nice with me please, it's my first story ever without any help for a translation, so this story might have a lot of mistakes (spelling etc...). So I'm sorry for that.

And it will take a few chapters to really begin the story (I explain the situation during the first ones).

* * *

 **Chapter 1 : the beginning of your story**

This day started like the other days. Gabby was cooking breakfast while Matt was trying to wake and dress Eliza to go to her preschool. It wasn't expected, but she stayed the beauty she was when she was born, for the happiness of her parents: her skin was slightly tanned, she had these same blue eyes and the same light brown hair. And she had a smile that could turn men crazy. Sometimes, she had the same gestures as her father. Well, she had his personality: calm, with some difficulties to share her feelings, and she was very smart for her age.

"Daddy? What's mama cooking this morning?"

"I don't know sweety. But we'll know soon. When you'll get dressed".

"Daddy?"

"Yes?"

Eliza had the habit to ask a lot of questions, whether it was to her father or her mother.

"Can I ask you a weird question?"

"Weird how?"

"Well, I ask myself for a while but..."

She looked down, almost ashamed to have begun her sentence.

"Hey Liz, look at me".

He passed his fingers under her chin to raise her head. Finally meeting her eyes, he smiled.

"When you have a question, ask it, okay? Don't hide your feelings and emotions, they are your strength".

After several noiseless seconds, she nodded.

"It's just... I don't want you to be angry at me daddy".

He sighed and sat next to his daughter.

"If one day I'm angry at you, it'll be to get you stronger".

He passed his arm around Eliza and hugged her, kissing her forehead.

"What was your question?"

"Uh... I saw that... You have two big scars here, and here", she said, pointing her lower stomach and her right hip.

"Oh..."

Eliza almost turned her gaze. She thought that her father didn't want to answer her question and she began to regret it.

"These scars are the beginning of your story".

She turned her head to her father, her eyes wet because of some tears. She had so much questions right now.

"Breakfast is ready!" Gabby cried from the kitchen.

"We'll have a talk during breakfast okay? Put your shoes on, I'll do your laces and then we go down to the kitchen".

Eliza nodded wiping the tears, then she put her shoes on so her father could lace them. They went down hand by hand and sat.

"I cooked pancakes, scrambled eggs with bacon".

"Mhhh, mama you're the best mama in the world!"

Resting the pan on the stove, Gabby smiled. Matt cut her pancakes and Eliza took one piece in her mouth.

"Mhhh, yummy!"

Matt smiled. Gabby was the best cook, even with easy and simple recipes. After a few quiet seconds, Eliza turned her head to her father while eating.

"Daddy?"

"Your mouth Liz. Don't talk with your mouth full".

She finished chewing and swallowed before continuing.

"Can you tell me? The beginning of my story?"

Matt then remembered their conversation a few minutes earlier. Gabby looked puzzled.

"Liz asked me about my scars on my lower belly and my right hip".

"Oh..."

Eliza laughed.

"Dad had the same reaction!"

Gabby smiled then looked the men of her life.

"And?"

"And... I told her they were the beginning of her story".

Gabby raised an eyebrow.

"And then you called for breakfast".

"Ah, I see".

Still eating, Eliza turned her gaze to her father. He wanted to know her story.

"About five months before your birth, you were into mommy's belly for about three months".

"In her belly?! But how I did to get into her belly?"

Matt and Gabby couldn't help but laugh.

"Well", Gabby began more seriously, "dad and mom shared a big hug and from our love, you've been conceived".

"And then I was born?"

"Not after that sweety. It took some time for you to grow. The first time we saw you into mommy's belly, you had the size of a pea".

Eliza was trying to imagine herself the size of a pea. She seemed puzzled.

"And then, you stayed about nine months into mommy's belly to grow and when you were ready, you were born".

"Ohhh".

"Do you see this picture?"

Matt pointed the pictures on the chimney. Eliza was very small on it, cuddled by her uncle Kelly.

"Uh uh".

"It was the day you were born. In nine months, you're passed from a pea to a baby like you".

"After nine months?!"

"You were born a little early, but it was because you were ready".

Eliza nodded, still eating with her parents.

"So, what happened? Five months before my birth?"

"Oh, yeah. We were there".

Matt cleared his throat.

"Mom and me were inside a big house and I discovered a bomb".

"Those who KABOOM?!" Eliza said, extending her arms.

"Yeah, those who kaboom. When dad discovered it, he asked his men to get out".

"But, what about you dad?"

"Me? I discovered the bomb, it was my responsibility to check if everthing was okay the time for the specialists to come".

"There are bomb specialists?!"

"Yes, the bomb squad. I can continue?"

"Yes daddy!"

Gabby smiled, swallowing a new fork of scrambled eggs.

"There still were three firefighters in the house when the bomb activated itself".

"Activated? It was going to kaboom?"

"Mh".

Matt continued to eat while Eliza was asking her questions and Gabby was answering.

"Who were the three firefighters?"

"Uncle Hermann, uncle Kelly and uncle Tony".

"Uncle Kelly has scars too?"

"From this day? Yeah, and your two other uncles too", Gabby confirmed.

"I ran toward them so the explosion couldn't reach them. And when the bomb exploded, the house collapsed on us".

Eliza opened her mouth, but this time, she had no questions. She was five, but she understood exactly what it meant.

"You were buried alive?"

"We can say that, yes!" Matt said, laughing.

"Dad was badly injured. And mom came to save him", Gabby announced.

"You buried yourself?"

"Well, there was a road to join your father and I took it. And then we got him out".

"And the others?"

"When your father got out, the road collapsed".

Eliza almost jumped, thinking about her mother being buried alive. But then, she calmed down. She knew that it was a happy ending because her parents were here with her, telling this story.

"Your other uncles had to find a new way to get us out".

"And they found one".

"And they found one, indeed", Gabby answered.

Eliza seemed puzzled again. Her story was a little weird.

"And that's all?"

"No. When dad began to get better, he was very angry at mom", Matt continued when Gabby was still eating.

"But why? Mom saved you!"

"It's because she went down. Mom had also hurt herself on this call. She could have lose you. And I didn't accept this".

"So... You argued with mom?"

"I did worse: I didn't talk to her for two months".

Eliza said nothing. Two months. It was very long for her, so for her parents...

"Until I realize why she went down: she went down for me, to save me. So you can have some brothers and sisters".

"And until I realize why dad was angry: he didn't want to lose me, and he didn't want to lose you. One was angry at each other for the same reason: not lose the other".

"And you got back together!"

"Indeed!"

They finished to eat, Gabby and Matt washing the dishes while Eliza was preparing her bag for her day.

"Mommy?"

"Yes sweety?"

Eliza bit her lower lip, a gesture she inherited from Gabby.

"Dad said that... That I... Can have some other brothers and sisters? Like uncle Hermann?"

"Mh. Why?"

Matt stopped to wash the dishes and turned toward the two women he loved.

"Well... I mean... At preschool, they all have brothers and sisters, and not me".

Eliza almost began to pout, lowering her head, placing her arms behind her back.

"You... You want a little brother or a little sister?"

Gabby and Matt exchanged a look, surprised.

"Well... I would like to".

Matt kneeled in front of his daughter and raised her head.

"I think we can find an agreement", he assured with a smile, kissing his daughter.

He then looked Gabby and she nodded.

"We'll have a discussion".

Eliza smiled very slightly.

"Come on, lets go! Aunt Christie will come to pick you after preschool".

"Yeah! I will sleep with Violet then!"

"Promise to be wise with Violet and aunt Christie".

"I promise, I promise!"

"We'll know if you lied to us anyway", Matt said to his daughter, laughing when she pouted.

All three entered the car, dropped Eliza to preschool and headed to the firehouse 51 for their shift.


	2. A discussion

Hello my dear readers, hoe you have a beautiful friday. I hope you liked the first chapter, because here comes the second one.

I think I didn't reply to your reviews (please forgive me!) but I really appreciated them :-)

Hope you will like this one!

* * *

 **Chapter 2 : Discussion**

It was 11am, and everything was so calm at 51. Not a noise, no calls. Nothing. Mouch was watching TV, Dawson was talking with Stella and Sylvie, Otis and Cruz were planning something evil. Again. Just for fun. Herrmann was doing his crosswords, Kelly was doing some paperworks just as Casey, candidate was doing tasks and the others were playing cards. Everything was very calm. Too calm. Kelly couldn't stay any longer on his chair. He wanted to talk to his best friend. He got up, looking through the window if Matt was busy, then knocked. Matt raised his head and signed at Kelly to enter.

"I don't bother you?"

"Not yet".

Matt rose and came to sit near his friend.

"You, you gotta tell me something, but you don't know how".

Matt knew Kelly very well. He knew when something was off. And it was the case.

"Okay, I tell you this like this, do what you want with the information".

He frowned a little while Kelly was taking a deep breath.

"I would like to propose Sylvie".

His mouth wide open, no sound came out. Matt shook his head and smiled.

"First, congratulations! To have finally taken this decision. Second, you know the consequences".

Kelly knew what his best friend meant: if Sylvie and he got married, Matt had to inform the headquarter.

"I know, but you're married to Gabby".

"Ah... I know what you mean. The new law?"

"Yeah, I can marry Sylvie because we're not in the same truck. I'm in squad 3, she's the PIC in ambo".

"Hey, I'm not against your marriage, it's just... I kept this relationship into the firehouse, but now, I have to inform the headquarter".

Kelly winced. He thought that his friend would be happy for him anyway.

"Then you don't approve?"

"You do what you want Kelly. As your best friend, I am really happy for both of you okay? But in this situation..."

"You can't be happy for me because it means you have to expose our couple".

Matt sighed, then nodded.

"Come on. Lets go grab come coffee before a call. It won't be long".

They left the office to come to the common roon.

"The wolf goes out of his den!" Herrmann joked.

"What is this? A kind of code?" Casye asked.

"Na, you're always in your office, then..."

"Then what? I isolate myself to not see your ugly faces! Especially yours Herrmann", he qaid, pointing him.

The new candidate was still surprised to hear these conversations between a chief and his subordinates. It was only a few shifts he was there and he didn't the rules of this firehouse yet. Casey approached Gabby. She seemed elsewhere.

"Dawson, you okay?"

She jumped, facing Casey.

"Yeah, just... Thinking about this morning".

Matt smiled slightly.

"What happened this morning?"

Gabby began to laugh.

"Eliza asked us to have a brother or a sister".

"And she also asked for my scars".

Herrmann smiled.

"Our girl isn't stupid uh?"

"And what did you tell her?"

"We'll have a discussion".

The others laughed in turn.

"What?"

"No need to discus Casey! It's obvious for you to have other kids!"

"Herrmann, I don't want to have five children just to do a vasectomy after that".

"Ouch!"

The entire firehouse laughed loudly, even the new member. Herrmann made a beautiful grimace at Casey.

"Ha. Ha. Ha. I'm laughing out loud. Now, go make some other kids, we want some new baby Dawsey here!"

"Yeah? And you'll decide for us?"

"Oh come on! Don't tell me you haven't thought about a second child..."

Gabby didn't say nothing, she was listening carefully as a spectator, quietly. She passed behind the stove to help Mac.

"It's always like this at the firehouse?" Mac asked discreetly to Gabby.

"What? No! They're soft right now".

"I should really become used to that..."

"Don't worry about this, it will come fast. Besides, they're not mean. They know each other since about ten years".

"They're in this firehouse since about ten years?!"

"Except Sylvie, Chout, Stella and you".

"But, what about you? You became a firefighter seven years ago, am I right?"

"I was the PIC before".

"Oh, okay".

The guys were still talking about sex while the girls and the candidate saked quietly towards the sleeping area.

"Phew! God, boys!"

"Thanks..." Mac threw.

"No offense".

"It's nothing, don't worry".

They sat in their beds, Stella and Gabby in face of Sylvie and Mac.

"I just want to enlighten something Gabby: Herrmann is right. You never thought about another kid?" Sylvie asked.

Gabby sighed, placing her hands on her laps.

"We didn't discuss yet. It had been already hard with Eliza and... I think I don't want to live this again".

"Circumstances are different Gabby. What are the probabilities to face such a situation, uh?"

She sighed again, closing her yes and lowering her head.

"I know... A few chance, but if it happens again? To Matt or... Or me? How could we get through this if we have some other kids? It will be hard with Liz, therfore another one?

"We understand your motivation, but talk to Casey. I think it's the same problem for him. He's scared something could happen. You need to talk to him, you have to. And quick".

Gabby took several seconds to think about it. There were too much informationss right now in her head.

"You're right girls. But..."

The bell rang, meaning a call. Finally. The entire crew had been requested to a structure fire.

"I know this ward", Mac explained. "it's a warzone right now. Gangs want to take it and there are a lot of showdowns".

"Well, there will be some fun then! Lets go candidate! your lieutenant is waiting for you!"

* * *

The next morning, Matt and Gabby came back home, completely ehxausted. After this call with the structure fire, the alarm didn't stop and nobody had time to sleep or rest, even a few minutes. They crashed on their couch, unable to move an inch.

"We should call Christie. She'll worry we won't pick up Eliza".

Matt sighed and took his phone to call his sister.

"Christie?"

" _Matt? Everything's okay?_ "

"Yeah, yeah, all good. Uh... Can you take care of Liz for a few more hours? Please?"

" _Rough shift?_ "

He sighed again, closing his eyes.

"Not a minute to rest".

" _I get it. You're lucky, it's my day off. And Liz just want back to sleep_ ".

"Wen back? Something happened?"

" _Liz didn't stop waking up, crying and screaming. It's the first time_ ".

He turned to Gabby and turned on the speaker so that she could hear the conversation.

" _She never had nightmares, not like these_ ".

"What do you mean?"

" _She was screaming, crying 'mom' and 'dad'. You... You already had this problem?_ "

"Oh God..."

Matt understood what was happening. It was the only explanation.

"Yesterday morning, she asked about my scars and... Gabby and I explained how I got them. I think it's related: her nightmares should be because of this".

" _Mh... Quite a possibility indeed. Well, she went back to sleep an hour ago and she didn't have new nightmares yet_ ".

"Thanks Christie. We owe you".

" _My pleasure, don't worry about this_ ".

Christie hung up, allowing Matt and Gabby to breathe.

"We should... Discuss. Before going to bed to catch some sleep", Gabby proposed.

"Discuss?"

"You know. About... About a new child".

Matt didn't see it come.

"Gabby. I don't want to force things. It was already hard with Liz and... And what if something happens to one of us?"

"I know. But the girls, they made me understand that the probabilities are low. We can try. We can do this. And... And Eliza is old enough now".

Matt sighed, he was tired but he also wanted to talk about it.

"I don't want to live this situation again. You know what I mean, right?"

"Yes, I know. But I would like a second child, and you want as well. And Eliza is beginning to feel bad being an only child".

"You're right", Matt finally complied. "I would like another child with you. But right now, we go into the room to rest a little before going to pick u our monster!"

"Yeah".

They went into their room, falling asleep almost immediately after entering their bed.


	3. A beating heart

Hello my dear readers! Hope your week-end started well ;-)

I explain: I did a lot of researches, I asked some friends about my ideas (consistency or not, etc). Despite their positive speeches, I wasn't convinced, so I modified the next chapters.

I know I will get killed by some readers (and they'll buried me where nobody won't find me), but I wrote this chapter two months ago (5th march to be exact), and my first thought was "dman, this chapter was good!".

I hope you will share your feeling by reading a review ;) **AND DON'T KILL ME!**

Have a good reading !

* * *

 **Chapter 3: A beating heart**

Firehouse 51 had their ninth call in this neighbourhood, the one engaged in a civil war because of gangs that wanted this ward. Some inhabitants were exceeded and were seeing firefighters as messiahs, but the majority of them were looking at them with hatred. Firefighters weren't welcomed here, but they had to do their job: saving lives, even if they had to find themselves between two gangs or more. But this time, the gangs war went too far. This time, firehouse 51 was under shootings, and almost the entire crew tried to find a safe place. The two firefighters still up were Kelly and Matt. Seeing that Kelly was going to be on the trajectory of a bullet, Matt rushed at him to save him. It was for him an instinct like any other one, a natural instinct. He slapped him to the ground very hard, but despite all the efforts producted by Matt, Kelly still took the bullet just above his left collarbone.

Pain was paralyzing him, but he comforted himself as he could by thinking about what could have happened if Matt hadn't been there. He could have been hit in the heart. He decided then to ironize.

"Damn Matt... You didn't help me... I still took this fucking bullet!" he said, laughing.

"Y-yeah?"

Kelly froze. He stopped breathing for a moment.

"Matt?"

"Mh..."

Despite the pain, Kelly straightened, screaming.

"Matt?!"

Straightening, he pushed Matt from over him and put him on his back. Matt was barely conscious, he was wincing as never.

"Matt, talk to me. Talk to me!"

"I-i... I think I... I've shared...", Matt said ironically.

The shooting was still there, but he grabbed his radio and turned it on with his right hand.

"Squad 3 to main, shots fired to us, I repeat shots fired to us! We need medical and police assistance! Emergency!"

" _Copy that squad 3. Sending police and medical assistance_ ".

Kelly focussed on Matt again. He was beginning to close his eyes.

"Het ugly face, don't close your eyes".

Matt started laughing slightly.

"It's... You... Ugly face".

Kelly smiled, then stopped a few seconds later, looking down at the ground. It was red and wet. Red and wet as blood. As Matt's blood. And his blood was spreading fast, very fast.

"Matt? You've been hit?"

"Don't... Don't know".

Shots had stopped, finnaly, Kelly turned to his truck and screamed.

"I NEED HELP! CASEY'S DOWN!"

A couple seconds later, all the firefighters were aroung him. Brett, Chout and Gabby approached them even more.

"What happened?" Sylvie asked.

Kelly pointed then the ground. They lowered their gaze to see a pool of blood. Matt was in a pool of his own blood. Chout removed Matt's gear to see where the blood was coming from.

"Oh..."

The firefighters around him passed a hand over their mouth.

"GSW in the middle left of his ribcage".

Chout grabbed the most gauzes he could to place them on the wound, making Casey wince.

"Turn him!"

Gabby, Sylvie and Chout turned him on his right side to see the damage. Matt didn't even scream in pain. He didn't have the strength anymore.

"We have and exit wound!"

"Entry", Kelly corrected. "No way to take the bullet from behind us".

Truck 81 was indeed blocking their sight. The bullet they took could only come from in front of them. The put Matt back on his back after having patched the exit wound. Sylvie then took her stethoscope to hear the sound of Matt's lungs while Gabby was preparing his arms to set an IV and while Chout was placing an oxygen mask on his Matt and the monitor on his chest.

"Irregular pulse at 134, blood pressure... In the toilet, we need to move quickly!"

Sylvie came then to hear his heart carefully. An irregular pulse like this wasn't normal.

"His lung is punctured. And..."

She didn't finish his phrase, but winced, removing her stethoscope slowly.

"Brett?"

"He... The bullet is in the heart. He... He can't reach the hospital in time", she explained.

Gabby opened her mouth. It was one of the first time Brett was giving up on a patient. And when she was giving up, she was always right. But not this time, Gabby couldn't believe this.

"No, no, we'll reach it. If we act quickly, we'll do this", she finallt said, determined.

"Gabby..."

"NO! If it was Kelly instead of Matt, would you give up?!"

Sylvie remained open-mouthed because of what Gabby had just said. If the places had been reversed, she surely wouldn't have given up.

"No".

"Then we do it fast, we take Kelly with us, on bring him to Chicago Med. Now".

Brett couldn't do anything but nod. The guys brought the stretcher and placed Matt on it to put him on the ambulance.

"Call the ER and ask Conor to be on stand-by for Matt".

Chout took the wheel and drove as fast as he could. Back in the ambulance, Kelly was still holding his arm, he didn't want any care. Not while Matt was in this shape. The latter had more and more trouble breathing and was now unconscious. Gabby and Sylvie had failed keeping him awake.

"His sature is still dropping. We need to intubate".

Gabby came in place to do it by herself. She almost snatched the intubation kit from Sylvie's hands while removing the mask on the face of her beloved. Sylvie and Kelly noticed then that Gabby was crying. Because her tears were falling on Matt's cheeks. Gabby opened his mouth to pass the tube, but her hand was tremlbing as never.

"Come on...", she murmured. "Come on Matt..."

She finally passed the tube, Sylvie placing then the balloon to pour some air into Matt's lungs.

"His sature isn't coming up!"

Gabby took the balloon while Sylvie was checking if the tube was in place with her stethoscope.

"I don't get it. The tube is in place and... And it's not working!"

"Take my place Sylvie".

Without thinking, Sylvie and Gabby traded their places under the disbelieving look of Kelly. Gabby took the stethoscope and heard by herself. After thirty seconds...

"Oh God..."

"What? What is it Gabby?"

She didn't take the time to answer and grabbed the radio.

"Ambulance 61 to the ER of Chicago Med. I need to talk to Dr. Rhodes immediately!"

"Gabby, explain!" Sylvie asked again, but was still having no answer.

" _This is Dr. Rhodes_ ".

"Connor, this is Gabby. Be ready to operate when we'll come!"

" _Oah, oah, explain!_ "

"GSW in the middle left ribcage, through and through, we intubated him but his satirue isn't coming up!"

" _Oh God... I'll prepare an OR right away_ ".

"No time to prepare an OR! You have to do this in the Erm!"

" _Gabby, you know the procedure, I can't do this_ ".

"IT'S MATT, CONNOR! THE PATIENT IS MATT!" Gabby screamed then, esperate.

" _I'll go prepare trauma 1. ETA?_ "

"Chout! ETA!"

"About three minutes".

"Three minutes!" Gabby confirmed.

" _Hurry up, he doesn't have three minutes_ ".

The last phrase froze everyone's blood.

"What?!"

" _Gabby, the only possible reason for his sature to not coming up despite an intubation is because the bullet went through his heart! If this is the case, he doesn't have three minutes before his heart stops!_ " Connor explained against his will.

But before he finished, Matt's heart stopped.

"Asystole!"

The worst nightmare of Gabby and Kelly became reality: Matt's heart stopped abruptly. Kelly grabbed the balloon with his right trembling hand to insufalte some air into his lungs, Gabby was on the top of him, doing CPR, muttering some incomprehensible things. Tears were flowing from her eyes onto the torso of the man she loved.

"Please Matt... Please come back.."

That was all they could hear from her mouth while she was losing all her strength to revive him. Sylvie didn't dare to move an inch or say something. But she had to.

"I...I hope I'm wrong, but..."

"But what? What is it?" Severide asked to Sylvie, tears ready to flow.

Brett closed her eyes and breathed a huge amount of air.

"If his heart stopped, then the hit led to cardiac tamponade. We need to evacuate the blood around his heart".

Gabby didn't stop, and she didn't want to. Then without waiting, Brett realized a small incision on his left side between two of his ribs and inserted the drain slowly. An endless flow of blood scattered on the floor and on Sylvie.

"Shit! Gabby don't stop! We can't chock him because of the blood loss!"

"What do you mean?" Kelly asked again.

"Kelly, he doesn't have enough blood into his body to make his heart work! Resuscitate him would cause more damage! Chout, ETA?!"

"Almost there!"

Gabby was losing even more energy now that she knew Sylvie couldn't bring Matt back.

"And... And a full filling? Brett? It can work?"

Brett looked Gabby, then Kelly.

"We can try. There's nothing to lose".

She grabbed her medical trousers and got out four bags of saline, connected them to the IV and opened them fully. An a minute or so, the four bags were almost empty. Then she took an epi-shot and inserted the syringe straight into his heart, trying to restart it while Gabby was still doing CPR. But it didn't work.

"We're here!"

The ambulance stopped and Chout opened the door. In a few seconds, they were surrounded by several doctors.

"Forty-one year old firefighter, GSW in the middle left of the chest, thourgh and through. Tamponade two minutes ago, unable to have a pulse back despite a full filling. Very important blood loss and pneumothorax".

"Bring him to trauma 1! Hurry!"

Sylvie was still lokking at Gabby on Matt's hips, trying to save his life by all means, tears in her eyes, endlessly repeating the same phrases. While doctors and paramedics were taking the stretcher into trauma 1, one of them tried to remove Gabby from on Matt. But she held on. She didn't want to leave him, for anything in this world. Kelly was there too and tried to intervene.

"Gabby... Let them save his life".

But despite his words, she continued. She had images in her head. Shay. Siw years ago, she realized the same gestures on her best friend, but she couldn't have saved her. Today, she wanted to do everything she could to save the man she loved.

"Gabby..."

Kelly grabbed her despite his own injuries, but she struggled.

"Let go of me!"

She was screaming, crying while doctors were moving Matt away from her. Now, she had to watch the doctors saving his life.

* * *

In trauma 1, everything started to be organized. One of the nurses had immediately taken Gabby's place and came on Matt for chest compressions. Will Halstead was there to help Connor and April.

"Where is this damn CPB?! He need to be cooled!"

Two nurses left the makeshift OR, running. Matt's heart had stopped four minutes ago.

* * *

Severide was trying to restrain Gabby as he could and to comfort her. But it was hard, even for him. He wanted to bring him where she wanted to go, meaning near trauma 1, to see if the doctors didn't give up on Matt. She was crying, she was still fighting Kelly, screaming sometimes. And Kelly was still trying to hold her back, supporting this rage and this sadness despite his own pain and his own envies. Chout and Sylvie were still there, paralyzed and in shock. And above all, Sylvie was covered of blood. Matt's blood. It was starting to dry, but her blue jacket was red now. As red as Gabby's hands.

"I need to see Matt... I have to see him".

Kelly could feel her shaking. His shirt was becoming wet because of the tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Gabby... If I bring you there... Promise me to step off and not enter the room. Let them do their job, okay?"

Gabby put her eyes on his. Then she closed them and nodded.

"I... I just need to see him. Knowing that... That they don't give up on him..."

Kelly inderstood perfectly. He was desperate to see his brother of heart.

"Come on then".

He took Gabby's hand and began to take the road to trauma 1. But Gabby didn't move an inch. She couldn't, as fear was freezing her. Kelly squeezed her hand harder, signaling he was there for her. She turned to him and finally followed him. Without knowing why, Sylvie followed them, leaving Chout alone with all the paperworks. After thrity seconds, they were arrvied at the door, and they looked inside through a window. A nurse was on Matt's hips, still doing CPR, another one were blowing air into his lungs, a thrid one was preparing the material needed for the operation, a fourth nurse were running some tests and two others nurses were coming back with a huge machine. Gabby didn't know this machine.

"What is it?"

Sylvie looked through the window.

"It's an articifial heart-lung machine. To realize a cardio-pulmonary bypass".

Kelly jumped and turned to the woman he loved.

"What?" he asked, puzzled and sceptical.

"This machine is used for hopen-heart surgeries. The machine pumps the blood via a cannula, and using an oxygenator, allow red blood cells to pick up oxygen, as well as allowing carbon dioxide levels to decrease. After that, oxygenated warmed or cooled blood returns to the body throughout another cannula", Sylvie explained.

"Then he... Well, I... He..."

"It's replacing his heart and pulmonary functions. Until the operation is over. And to avoid any clots, therefore large damage, they stuffed his blood with blood thinners".

Kelly was struggling to endure her explanation, who was nevertheless triying to keep her calm in such a situation.

"But... For now, he... I mean..."

Kelly couldn't even formulate a phrase because of the shock. But Sylvie knew exactly what he meant.

"Yes. Fow now, Casey can be considered dead".

At the same time, another nurse entered the room with iced bags in hers arms and began to place them around Matt's body.

"And... And this? W-what is it?" Kelly asked totally frightened.

"Kelly, it's standard procedure. They can't resuscitate him, then the best way to keep him in some ways alive even with an unbeating heart is to cool him and place him into hyperthermia. In hypothermia, the body can stay an hour without any electrical activities".

"Even... Even his brain?"

Sylvie nodded.

"Even his brain. His body has to be cooled at 68, then after an hour, he will be warmed up. When his body reaches the critical temperature, his heart and his brain should restart gradually".

"Should?"

Kelly closed his eyes, then reopened them to see Gabby in tears on the ground. She couldn't stand up anymore. She couldn't.

"I... I have to go".

She stood up abruptly and ran as fast as she could to the women's room.

* * *

"Dr. Halstead? Dr. Rhodes will be there in a minute", April confirmed.

"Okay. Prepare the CPB. We must act quickly otherwise we'll lose him definitely. Anny, don't stop compressions, I know you're tired but we must continue for a few minutes".

"Not a... Problem", she assured breathless.

Sweat was streaming down her face and she was beginning to have cramps.

"For now, keep him alive the time for Connor to come. Helen, temperature?"

"79. I'm placing him under ice perfusion".

"Not now. We'll do this when Dr. Rhodes will be there and will tell you. Place them on the rapid infuser but don't open them".

"Got it".

Not a minute later, Connor was there and began the surgery. He did a large incision at his sternum. Arrived at hiss heart, he place the cannulae.

"Turn on the CPB".

The perfusionist turned it on and did all the necessary adjustments. Ten minutes were sufficients.

"Ice bags are ready?"

"On the rapid insufer sir", April assured.

"Then open them".

April open them fully and Matt's temperature dropped sharply.

" adjust the heat-exchanger at 64,4. When his body will reach this temperature, we'll have an hour at the most".

"Well... We were trying to revive him for nearly seven minutes. It's more fifty-three minutes than an hour", Will explained.

"It will be enough. Temperature?"

"69,8 doctor".

"Alright. Clamp".

A nurse handed him one, and Connor placed it to stop his blood flow at his aorta.

"Cardioplegia".

The same nurse handed then a huge syringe, and emptied the content into his heart.

"Temperature?"

"66,2".

"Okay. We can start".

The surgeon then began the operation.


	4. Comforting

Hello there! I know, I know. You want to kill me because of the situation, BUT he is an update to relieve the pressure (sort of). I'll play hide and seek again after this but think about it: if you kill me, then you won't know what happened (or could happen).

Ok ok, I leave you with this chapter, and if you're wise with me, I will write and publish the next one before sunday, okay?

Have a good reading ;)

* * *

 **Chapter 4 : Comforting**

Gabby just threw the content of her stomach in one of the toilets, coughing and crying while closing her eyes. She couldn't help but think and think again about what she had just seen and experienced. The man she loved has taken a bullet in the heart, could be considered dead, leaving her alone with Eliza. Of course, he wasn't officially dead yet, but a gun shot wound right in the heart was so bad, Matt had more chance to die than to pull through this. She should be prepared, especially the worst. She pulled the flush, got out of the water closet and stopped at the sink, looking his reflection in the mirror in front of her. Her face was pale despite her tanned skin, her eyes were red and swollen because of the tears, her lips were trembling just as her hands and legs. She could feel her heart beating realy fast in her chest and her breathing was shallow. She looked down, gazing at her shirt: it was covered of blood. She couldn't help but fall again into her sadness. It was stronger than her. She tried to pass her hand over her mouth but before she could, the smell of blood gave her another wave of nausea. She then ran her hands over her eyes, looking the palms, then the posterior part of her hands. They were as bloody as her clothes. She turned on the tap, rubbing her hands under the hot water to remove the blood. She took the soap, scratching harder and harder to remove all this red viscosity that was invading her and overwhelming her. She heard herslef scream, cry without stopping, but she continued, desperate. She didn't finish washing them, but her trembling legs couldn't support her own weight any longer. She slipped to the ground, passing her wet hands over her face, crying as never. She heard the door open, a few steps that stopped quickly. And a voice.

"Aw, Gabby..."

Those steps she heard quickened, she percieved something else; something slamming to the ground, then she felt enveloped by two thin and long arms. By the voice, she recognized Sylvie.

"Casey will pull through Gabby. I'm sure about this".

Although she was still crying, she raised her head, facing the gaze of her friend.

"I... I-I'm not fooled", she managed to say between two sobs. "Matt took a bullet in the heart, I-I know what it means".

Indeed, Gabby wasn't anybody. She had been a PIC and knew perfectly what a GSW meant.

"But there is still hope", Sylvie tried to reassure. "You have to keep this hope".

"And what do I have to tell Liz?! Uh?! I tell her her dad is almost dead but she has to keep hope too?! She's only five!"

Brett remained still, without adding anything to what Gabby just said. Because she knew that her best friend was right: how to tell this to a five year old daughter, her own daughter? Wanting to affirm her support, Brett placed her left hand on one of Gabby's shoulders.

"I'm here if you need any help. You know that. I will do anything for my goddaughter".

Gabby's crying decreased, and after a few minutes, there were just some slight sobs.

"I can't do this alone", she admitted, wiping her tears. "I can't tell this to Liz alone".

"Then I'll be there. And Kelly as well. We'll be there".

Gabby raised her head to cross her gaze and her small sad smile. She nodded before taking her into her arms for a few comforting seconds.

"Thank you", Gabby murmured into her ear.

Brett helped Gabby to get up and left the room to join Kelly in the waiting room. He had made a makeshift sling the time to know the progress of the surgery: he didn't want to be treated. He felt like he didn't deserve it, not yet.

"You should be treated", Brett insisted.

But Kelly refused again, shaking his head from side to side.

"Not before Matt comes out of there".

Brett had noticed earlier that the bullet he received hadn't fully crossed his body, but was still inside, somewhere. He needed surgery. He was even paler than Gabby, he was shivering. She was going into shock. Brett didn't have a chance to change his mind.

"Let me at least clean the wound. You won't hold long in this condition".

Kelly thought about it. On one hand, he didn't want to be treated because it meant he wouldn't know how was Matt and he also felt guilty. But on the other hand, he knew deep down that his own condition was deteriorating and he needed emergency care. He sighed, lowering his head and closing his eyes. Then he nodded very lightly. Brett stood up and looked at Chout who came back to them. She approached him and she asked him to follow her somewhere less noisy.

"We need to cure Kelly so that he can stay conscious and alert until the end of the operation".

"What?! Are you serious?!"

He looked her carefully, hoping to figure a joke from Brett, but she was very serious".

"He must be in shock, Casey bled out on him as he was losing blood himself".

Brett wanted to talk, but she stopped, thinking about something. She crossed her arms, frwoning.

"If... If their bloods mixed, then he should have gone into shock long time ago, right?"

Chout nodded.

"That's not the case?"

"No! He lost a lot of blood then yes he's at the edge of a hypovolemic shock, but not a septic one".

Brett and Chout hurried then on Kelly and Gabby.

"Gabby, do you know Matt's blood type and his rhesus?"

"Uh... He... I think he's B. Negative. Why?"

Chout then gazed at Kelly.

"Lieutenant? What's your blood type and your rhesus?"

"I... I don't understand".

"Just... Answer the question Kelly, please", Brett begged.

Kelly was on the verge to faint, but he answered before letting go and falling to the ground, unconscious.

"B. Negative..."

Brett, Chout and Gabby rushed on him, calling a doctor and some nurses.

"That's why he didn't go into septic shock: same blood type, same rhesus".

Sylvie removed his jacket then ripped his shirt. He had lost at least a liter of blood already, if not more. Dr. Choi arrived with two nurses beside him.

"What happened?"

"GSW just above the left collarbone twenty minutes ago, still inside and he lost a lot of blood. The bullet passed through Matt's chest before hitting him", Gabby stated.

"And he didn't go into septic shock before?!" Ethan said astonished.

"Same blood type, same rhesus".

"Bring a stretcher, four bags of O negative, twso bags of plasma, what to do a filling and monitor him. And call 1-0-1, we need to find the bullet and we have to stabilize him".

"Why not B negative?"

"Priority to Casey".

Quickly, the medical staff went to work and brought Kelly into trauma 2 where a nurse hooked him to a cardiac monitor and where a secodn nurse placed a non-rebreather mask on his face.

"Pulse at 113, BP at 8 over 5".

"Start the filling and put the bags of blood and plasma on the IV pole. Where is the protable x-ray?"

"En route doctor".

A few seconds later, x-ray was here and Ethan put it in place to x-ray his shoulder.

"There! Not deeply rooted".

"What does that mean?" Brett asked.

"We can remove it. The bullet just hit his muscles".

"B-but... Why he lost this amount of blood?"

"Shoulder muscles are sensitive. It's not rare to see this blood loss".

"Then what do we do now?"

"We'll stabilize him, and then we'll remove the bullet".

Brett, Chout and Gabby didn't nod, they were worry.

"Pressure is coming up, pulse is stabilizing".

"Ok, we'll remove it now. You paged a surgeon?"

"I'm here".

Thsi voice made everyone jump, and all looked toward the door.

"Excuse me", he threw to the people at the door.

The two paramedics and Gabby moved aside to let him in.

"What do we have?"

"GSW above the left collarbone, superficial, just hit muscles but heavy blood loss. Pulse at 90, BP at 10 over 6".

"Stable?"

"Pulse is stable, his pressure is coming up gradually and slowly".

"Alright, lidocaine".

Choi turned to the surgeon, frowning.

"You won't sedate him?"

"Locally. No need to sedate him and intubate him on this case. A local anesthesia will be sufficient".

In less then fifteen minutes, the surgery were finished and Kelly's arm was wrapped in a sling to immobilize his shoulder. Ethen removed the oxygen mask to place a nasal cannula, amply sufficient to supply the oxygen needed for Kelly. Then he approched the group.

"His pulse is stable, his pressure is coming up. He should regain consciousness in a few minutes", he assure with a slight smile.

"And... And Matt?"

His smile disappeared in no time, and he shook his head. He didn't have news.

"I need to talk to Liz. I... She has to know".

Gabby turned and left the hospital to pick up her daughter. She needed to see her. Arrived at the preschool, she entered but she was soon stopped by one of the staff members.

"Mrs. Casey? You weren't supposed to pick up Liz today, or this soon", the boss stated. "And you're covered of blood".

"There was an accident. I need to see Liz and take her".

"An accident?"

"Her father is in life-threatening surgery. Please".

A few seconds later, Liz was in front of her mom, both happy to see her and scared by this blood on her jacket.

"Mama, why do you have blood on you?" she asked.

"It's nothing Liz", she assured with a big smile. "Come with me, we're going somewhere".

"But where?"

Gabby sighed.

"Eliza please, do what I say".

This called upon Liz enough to do what her mother said: she called her Eliza if she did a bad thing or if something went wrong. Then she put her shoes on and followed her mother into the car. She said nothing during the trip, seeing that her mother were highly concerned about something serious. Five minutes later, Gabby parked the car behind the hospital.

"Mama, why we're at the hospital? Where's daddy?"

Gabby continued to say nothing, detaching Liz and putting her on the ground. Seeing her mother like this broke her heart.

"Mama, where is daddy?"

But Gabby didn't answer. Liz just saw her bite her lips and repress a sob. Then she stopped, crossing her arms and looking at her mother.

"Eliza, I'm not in a mood for your acting!"

"I won't move until you tell me what's going on".

Liz was firm, and she wasn't an idiot. She knew her mother was hiding something and she wanted to know what. Gabby sighed and turned, giving Eliza the chance to look her mother's face. She sat in a bench and tried to explain.

"Daddy... You know our job is dangerous, right?"

"Uh uh..."

"Well... Since a week, we're having many calls in a neighbourhood with a lot of bad guys who are shooting at each other".

Gabby looked her daughter. She seems so innocent with this gaze, it made her sick to have to see her face change in a second.

"About an hour ago, we had a call in this neighbourhood and these bad guys shot at each other. And we were in the middle of this".

"In the middle?! Of the shooting?"

Gabby nodded, bitting her lips and taking a deep breath.

"Uncle Kelly was going to be shot, so daddy jumped on him. And he's the one who took a bullet".

As expected, Liz's innocence fadded in no time, in just a few microseconds.

"Is he okay?"

"Unfortunately not. Daddy is badly injured and..."

She didn't continue further, unable to tell the truth to her daughter. She broke down. She began to cry in front of Liz. Understanding the situation, Eliza hugged her mother tenderly.

"Mama? Daddy is the strongest man in the world. He will live, don't worry".

This made Gabby laugh. She had to explain the situation to her daughter and comfort her, but her daughter was now comforting her.

"I was the one who was supposed to cheer you up", she admitted, wiping the tears streaming down her cheeks.

"We have to trust daddy", she reassured.

Although she didn't show it to her mom, Liz wanted to scream and cry. She knew it was bad, really bad, because her mother came to pick her up. It meant they had to fear the worst.


	5. The news

Hello hello dear readers! I didn't reply your reviews, but I was really amazed and I've enjoyed your reactions about this fics :p THANK YOU SO MUCH!

So, as promised, here is a new chapter.

I know I wrote with a lot of mistakes but I hope it won't alterate your reading ;-)

And please, leave me a reviews after this !

See you ^^ And enjoy!

* * *

 **Chapter 5: The news**

Gabby remained outside ten minutes with her daughter before she finally decided to enter the ER, Eliza glued to her left leg. She didn't like this place: there were still too much people for her, sometimes someone was screaming, kids were crying. It wasn't her kind of paradise. Arrived into the waiting room, Gabby gazed the room, searching her colleagues, but there was nobody. She frowned and remembered that Kelly had been admitted in trauma 2.

"Come on Liz, we'll go see uncle Kelly", she tried to say warmly. "But I have to warn you: uncle Kelly had been injured as well, and he's sleepy".

"He took a bullet? Like daddy?"

She looked down at her daughter. She seemed so impassive, it scared Gabby.

"Yes, uncle Kelly also took a bullet".

"It's not as bad as Matt".

"Yes".

Liz didn't go further, feeling the distress and the nervosity of her mother. She just offered a slight smile as support, making Gabby smile in return. She followed her mom down to the trauma rooms and stopped beside her mother. Chout was on the doorstep.

"Chout".

He turned, facing Gabby. His face was marked, he wasn't smiling, as if joy had left his body forever.

"How is Kelly?"

"He woke up couple minutes ago, asking for Casey. But..."

"You don't have news".

Chout shook his head from side to side. Gabby then closed her eyes and lowered her head, passing her right hand over her forehead.

"You should change your clothes Dawson".

She jumped, and lloked at her clothes. She was still wearming them, the ones covered of blood, Matt's blood.

"I... I don't have change", she finally admitted.

"Maggie will find some".

Chout signed at Maggie to come and explained the situation. She nodded, left for several minutes before coming back with some clean clothes. It was just a doctor gown, but a least, Gabby would be dry, and wouldn't have nausea every thirty seconds.

"Thanks", she managed to whisper.

She left to change in the women's room, Chout taking care of Liz. He tried to be full of joy with her, so she could think about something else, but Liz was far from stupid.

"So Liz! How are you?"

He soon regretted the question that came out of his mouth. It was obvious she wasn't feeling well.

"My dad took a bullet and it's bad, my godfather took a bullet too, my mum isn't really here. Otherwise I'm okay".

Gabby came back a few seconds later, freshly dressed, and at the same time, Will came out of trauma 1. No one had noticed, but it had been an hour since they arrived in the ER. Soon, Gabby rushed at him.

"How is Matt?"

Will had a serious look, he seemed tired. He sighed, then took a deep breath.

"We... We couldn't restart his heart before the surgery".

Gabby collasped on the floor, Chout trying desperately to hold her, in vain.

"We... Connor hopes to succeed when the surgery will be over, but it might take a while, hours apparently. Uh... He... He lost a huge amount of blood, and his injury is really, really bad".

"He... He has a chance to... To recover?"

Gabby had almost clogged her ears. She didn't want to hear this, the fact that her belove was dead or couldn't have been saved.

"I'm going to be honnest with you Gabby. If he pulls through... It would be a miracle".

Tears increased. The father of her child, Eliza... He wouldn't be the same.

"And... You sure about this?" Chout asked.

"No. I don't know if Gabby or someone else told you, but... The day the ER exploded six years ago, Severide had been badly injured. I wanted to black tag him", he said to Chout. "But I was wrong. I can be wrong again. And I hope I'm wrong. For you".

Will felt really uncomfortable in face of these two sad faces looking at him. He lowered his head and looked down at Liz. She had understood nothing. April came out of the room a few seconds later.

"Will told you?"

She was feeling as uncomfortable as Will. Not because of Gabby, but essentially because of Liz. Because all of this was too much complicated for her to understand.

"Matt is considered dead and you don't know if you can resuscitate him, he lost a lot of blood and a bullet had passed through his heart".

She took a deep breath to start talking after Chout, but she soon realized what Will had done. He didn't give them all the details to not scare them and put an extra weight on their shoulders. Then she closed her mouth and said nothing. For a while.

"You have to be patient, he will stay in surgery for a moment. You... You should go in the waiting room. And call your friends and his family".

April was trying to get them out of here, so that they weren't able to see Connor operating Casey. She knew it would be too hard for them. After a few minutes, Gabby nodded, wiping the tears rolling down her cheeks. Chout helped her to stand.

"Dawson... You should call his sister".

Gabby looked straight in his eyes before nodding again. He came in the waiting room and saw that all the firefighters were there, including the engine guys. And even Boden, in uniform. Hermann had called him and he wanted to come to the hospital to cheer up his former family. Chout helped Gabby to have a seat on one of the chairs, Liz sitting just next to her mother. The paramedic then asked someone to call Matt's sister and ask her to come immediately. Hermann grabbed his phone and shook his head.

"He... Uh...", Gabby started, unable to continue.

She turned toward Will whi accompanied them to return to work.

"Will? Can you..."

She signed to him to have some help to explain the situation. He sat next to Gabby and took a deep breath.

"We couldn't resuscitate Matt before the surgery. He lost a very huge amount of blood and... Dr. Rhodes is trying to save him right now, but... But there is a big chance he can't restart his heart. He's severely injured".

Everyone was looking at Gabby, puzled.

"Why you aren't wearming your gear Gabby?"

Gabby closed immediately her eyes and let out some fresh tears. She was unable to explain.

"She..." Will started, trying to find the proper word. "Matt bled out on her".

Boden's face darkened.

"How bad?"

"Bad enough to not be able to restart his heart".

Boden didn't show it, but the first thing he wanted to do right now was crying and screaming. Just as Liz. The automatic doors opened, and a young blond woman entered the ER, crying and running. It was Christie. And she just saw all the firefighter near the exit and ran over them .

"Oh God, Where is Matt?"

Chout and Hermann shared a look. Hermann signed to Chout he was taking care of Gabby while he had to talk to Christie. He rose and invited Christie to follow him in another small room.

"Tell me. Where. Is. My little brother".

Chout turned and crossed her sad, desperate and scared look.

"He... He's in surgery. He... He took a buller in the chest and... He... He... Lost a lot of blood and uh... His heart isn't working".

Christie let out a cry of horror, before placing her left hand over her mouth. And crying. Chout didn't know what to do. In the waiting room, Boden was looking at Gabby insistently. Although she changed her clothes, she was still covered of dried blood and she was shivering.

"It's... It's Casey's blood?"

What a stupid question... Of course it was Matt's blood on her shirt. Her tears increased. He just rubbed it in without wanting it. Seconds, minutes, hours passed so slowly, Gabby thought that every single second was an hour. Until Dr. Rhodes came out of the room and took off his mask, his glasses and his protection gown. Gabby stood up and approached him, followed by Christie. She said nothing, allowing Connor to chose his words. He seemed highy tired, hit. Gabby crossed her arms, waiting for the sentence. Christie was in tears, shocked, paralyzed. The doctor took a deep brath and started talking.

"I'm no gonna lie and beat around the bush. I can't fix his heart".

The time for Gabby to understand what it meant, she remained still, motionless, paralyzed. Then the words came into his her head and her brain treated the information. Her eyes widdened gradually, they filled with tears ready to fall and stream down her cheeks.

"The bullet damaged his right ventricle, the pulmonary valve, his pulmonary artery, the ascending aorta and it went through his left atrium. There are too much damage for us to fix his heart".

He looked Gabby collapse to the ground, crying hardly. It was over, he was gone. Matt was gone. The doctor helped her to get back on her feet, but she was stronger than her. She did the only thing in her mind: Gabby slapped Connor with all her strength.

"You just had one thing to do! One fucking damn thing!"

She then beat him, over and over again, but he didn't reply. He understood Gabby. He knew what she was enduring. He knew it.

"JUST ONE THING!"

and then, she collapsed again, crying and screaming. And Christie remained there, unable to move an inch. Frozen. The firefighters were seeing what was happening near them without any sound. They had eye-followed Gabby and Christie following Connor near the room. They had seen Connor talking to them without really understanding what he was saying, they had seen Gabby slap and hit Connor without knowing why. The had seen Gabby collapse and Christie paralyzed. Boden decided then to move toward them, to understand what was happening, but then Connor kneeled in front of Gabby, talked to her, helped her to stand up again and with Christie, they entered the room. But seeing Gabby like this, he understood what it meant. He knew. And now, he had to tell the new to the other firefighters, he had to tell Brett, and even worse. He had to tell Kelly.

* * *

 **A/N: I'll go play hide and seek, and... Disapear for a while ^^ I don't want ot be killed !**


	6. Two months

Hello dear readers! I have to thank you for the reviews! It helped me to do my best for this ^^

I know, I know, you already killed me... I'm a bad, bad girl. But it's time to read a new chapter :)

Have a nive reading

* * *

 **Chapter 6: Two months**

After Gabby collapsed again, Connor kneeled in front of her while taking a deep breath.

"Gabby? I didn't call him yet. I would like to talk about something before".

Still crying, Gabby slightly raised her head, meeting Connor's eyes. After a few seconds, she finally nodded. He turned then his head toward Christie.

"You too Christie. We need to talk all three".

She nodded too, helping the doctor to lift Gabby and bring her inside the room. Matt was lying on a bed, inert. The breathing machine was still doing its job, all the machines were still working, the screens still turned on, Ivs still in place. She didn't understand. She approached, coming closer to her belove, caressing carefully and tenderly his hair while letting out some fresh tears.

"I-I... I don't understand".

"We can't repair the damage done to the heart, but there is still a possibility to save Matt. We call this "the last chance transplant". For two months and with your agreement, Matt will be placed on the top of the transplant list".

Dr. Rhodes stopped his explanation so that Gabby and Christie could understand what he said.

"Why you've waited then?" Christie asked, a little lost.

"Because Matt's blood type is rare in this country. The waiting time for a heart transplant is usually three months. And it's the minimum. There is a high possibility to not find a heart for Matt in time".

"B-but... But these medications... The transplants take them. They're here to not let their body attack the foreign organ", Gabby explained. "Then why searching a heart with the same blodd type as Matt?"

"You're right, wa can transplant an organ without matching. But it's safer for the transplant to have a high matching. The more he's near 100%, the less the dose of medication will be high".

Chirstie was totally lost. The doctoer and Gabby knew about medicine, not her. They knew what they meant, but she couldn't understand.

"Can you explain to me waht's happening?!" Christie shouted, her eyes reddened by the tears.

"We have two solutions", Gabby began. "Either we stop everything right now and Matt dies... Or they put him on the transplant list to maybe find a heart for him. If the doctors find one he lives, if they can't, he dies".

Gabby had perfectly resumed the situation in which they were. This choice would be the hardest to make.

"He has on in three chance to live then", she said, looking down.

"You have to know, before making a choice, that during these two possible months, his heart won't beat and he will remained on bypass. But wa can wake him, even with his heart not beating".

"What?!" Christie screamed.

"We can keep him in a coma, or wake him even without a heart. This machine is here for this", Connor explained, pointing at the bypass. "It's replacing his bloodstream. His heart isn't beating, but his body is still functionning".

"He... He's not dead?"

"To be dead,his brain and his heart had to stop working. His brain is still working".

"And... If Matt has the chance to have a new heart, I mean if you can do the transplant, uh... How..."

"We'll remove his heart and transplant the new one, to simplify. But even at this moment, there will be a possibility to not restart the new heart".

"But there is a chance", Gabby interrupted him. "Otherwise you wouldn't have proposed this to us".

Connor opened his mouthn but no sounds came out. Then he nodded, simply.

"Gabby?"

She turned to Christie.

"What would you do? Because I don't know what to do", Christie admitted.

Gabby came then to hug her, closing her eyes and leaving her crying on her shoulder. Looking at the surgeon, she thought about something very important for her.

"Is he suffering? Right now?"

"With the dose of sedative and painkiller, no. He's not suffering".

"And it's not illegal? To do this? I thought that this process was just the people highly sick".

"I already talked to Sharon and the Comitee on the phone. That's why it took time to give you the news. I needed their agreement before asking you. And they accepted".

"The ndo it. Put Matt on the transplant list. Save my husband and Liz's father".

"I also need your agreement Christie".

After several endless seconds, she raised her head, wiping the tears streaming down her cheeks.

"Save my brother".

Connor nodded, turning to the phone to call Sharon and the Comitee, still waiting for an answer.

"Mrs. Goodwin? Do what it takes".

He hung up, asking Gabby and Chirstie to sign numerous papers to do all the procedures. After twenty minutes, they came out of the room to join the others. Connor followed them to give a hand, but he wanted to let them talk to the group. Liz was the first to talk.

"Daddy is in heaven, isn't it?" she said with tears in her eyes.

Eliza was so lucis. Either she understood fast, which was scaring Gabby, or someone talked to the group already. But Boden hadn't said a word. He wanted to have the news from a doctor. Gabby then kneeled in front of her daughter, placing his hand on her thigh.

"Daddy is much stronger than death Liz. And he will prove it again".

Gabby trusted Matt completely. She knew he could do it, no matter the difficulty.

"Daddy was badly injured, and his heart can't beat anymore. But the doctors can still save him. They have two months to find a new heart for daddy".

The firefighters knew at this moment that Matt was still alive, and the wanted to sigh in relief, but they also know that finding a heart wasn't an easy thing. Maybe vain.

"How can we find a heart mommy?"

"Well... We need... Someone badly injured, with his or her brain not working anymore. And then daddy can have his or her heart".

"But there are people dying every day, why two months?"

"Because dad has a rare blood. And this person has to have the same blood. Otherwise it won't work properly".

"And if we don't find a heart for daddy in two months?"

This broke everyone's heart, but even more Gabby's. They hadn't talked about adult things yer with her daughter, because she was too young. But today, she was facing the hard reality and it scared her.

"If we can't find a heart, then daddy will go to heaven".

"No... No, I don't want it. Mama, I don't want him to go! I don't want him to go!"

Liz had finally broken, mmaking all the firefighters cry. In her mom's arm, she couldn't hold her tears andd her emotions now. She was crying so badly, and no one could stop her.

"I want to give him my heart! I can give him my heart!"

"No Liz you can't..." she murmured in her ears. "You're minor, you can't give your heart, and neither you dad or me would accept this".

"I don't care about my age! I want to save daddy!"

"Eliza listen to me, listen to me!" Gabby launced at her daughter, making her look into her eyes while they were both crying. "Your heart is too smalll for your dad, he needs a bigger heart, a strong beating heart".

Stil crying into her mother's arms, Liz was shivering, her breathing was becoming faster and faster. Gabby raisedd her head to see her daughter's face. She was sweaty.

"Ma... Mama".

Placing her hand on her chest, Liz was in total panic, her breathing more shallow.

"She's having a panic attack".

Chout came to help Gabby without hesitating; helping her to lengthen Liz on the ground, followedd by Connor. She was still responsive and conscious, but breathing hardly and feeling her heart beating into her chest was panicking her even more.

"Eliza? Eliza, listen to me, listen to mama please. I want you to close your eyes and listen to my voice, okay?"

A nurse came then with an oxygen mask, placing it on Liz's face while she was listening to Gabby and closedd her eyes.

"Now, I want you to take some slow and deep breaths. Like when we do yoga in the living room every sunday".

The same nurse came again with a syringe full of a mild sedative, but Connot stopped her immediately, signed at her they had the situation in hand. She put it in her pockets. After a few scaring minutes, Liz regained the control of her breathing, relieving everyone. Gabby pressed her fingers on her carotid to be sure that everything was fine, then nodded.

"Liz, can you open your eyes for me?" Connor asked gently.

Slowly, the five year old girl opened them, frowning heavily because of the light. She blinked a few times before opening them widely.

"Mama?"

"Liz, stay down hony. Stay calm, okay?"

"What happened mama?" she asked her moment through the mask.

"You had some difficulties to absorb the information. But everything is okay Liz, everything is fine".

Eliza shook her head.

"No mama... Nothing is okay. Daddy".

"Daddy will pull through this", Gabby cut her daughter. "I promise. Daddy will fight until the end".

Chout then took Liz into his arm, lifting her to place her on a bed to let her rest a little. A panic attack was highy exhausting for the body, expecially at her age. And now, they had to tell Kelly and Brett. Gabby looked at Connor and asked him to follow her without a word. He knew perfectly what she wanted: follow her to talk to Matt's brother. The he accompanied her to the room where Kelly was. He was awake, holding Sylvie's hand. Connor was ready to talk, but Kelly stopped him.

"I was awake. I heard everything".

Kelly didn't cry, he spent much of the time telling himself that it will be hard for Matt to survive. He prepared himself for this moment for years, since the death of Andy.

"Then you know that Matt is still alive? That it's still possible to save him?" Gabby said coldly.

Kelly raised his head, meeting Sylvie's eyes, then turned to Gabby.

"W-what?"

Surpised had spread into Kelly and Sylvie.

"With Gabby and Christie agreement, we put Matt on the top of the transplant list for two months. If at the end of these two months we don't find a new heart for him, we'll stop his care".

"He'll die then", Kelly stated even more coldly.

Connor nodded.

"But... Find a heart is already hard, then... Find a hreat matching with Matt will be impossible", Sylvie noticed, astonished.

"That's right, finding a donnor with the same blood type will be hard enough. But if we don't find in time, we'll search through the other blood types. We can realise a transplant without matching now, his medicine will be stronger and hard to bear for his body, but he'll live".

"IF you can find a new heart for him. You can't garentee anything".

Connor sighed, lowering his head slightly.

"Indeed. But there is a slight chance, and both Gabby and Chirstie took it".

Kelly couldn't believe that Gabby had accepted to torture Matt, but even more torture herself by thinking that he will have a new heart in time.

"Kelly", Gabby bega, with tears in her eyes. "Matt is all my life, he's everything for me. He's everything for Liz. I can't let him die, I can't do that. Not after what we went through these past few years, I can't. So please Kelly, believe in him once again, and tell yourself he can make it. He will make it. He promised me. He promised his daughter".

Kelly wanted so badly to believe in this miracle, but it was so far from him. But in his head, something lightened. Something very important. He said nothing.

"Okay then. Two months".

Gabby nodded, repeating these two words. Two months. And then, everything will be done or over.

"Girls, leave Kelly have some rest, he needs it".

Brett got up, joining Gabby to grab a coffee, and while Dr. Rhodes turned to leave the room, Kelly stopped him.

"Connor? Can I talk to you for a second?"

"Uh, yeah? Sure".

Gabby and Brett left the room. Connor closed the door behind them and came near Kelly and took a seat.

"You need more details about Matt?"

Connor was smart, he knew these two brothers. He treated them too many times in the ER and he knew them by heart.

"We can say that", Kelly said, smiling.

But soon, this smile fadded, and Kelly raised his head, looking at Connor seriously and firmly.

"Can you do me a favor? Please?"

Connor realized that what Kelly was asking was more than a simple favor. But he nodded. He had a vague idea, but he wanted to be sure.

"I'd like to know. I want to know if I'm matching with Matt".

* * *

 **A/N: Do you feel relieved or not after this chapter?**


	7. Good or bad news?

Hello my dear readers! I know, I know... You want to kill me since day one, but I'm here to make you feel better! As I'm sick (in late may, yes), I have plenty, plenty of time to write with more details and improve my translation (Hope they're won't be numerous tiping mistakes).

I have to thank you for the reviews you left, you're sooo curious and I'm trying to give you some crunchy sppoilers without telling why he asked this question or if Casey will die or not.

 **Alice, as you left a review as guest, I will answer to your review here: I didn't say I won't kill Casey. There is two options: either he'll die, or not! But what I can tell you: I know if he will or not mouhahahaha**

Ahem *serious broken voice*

I hope you will like this chapter, and leave me again some reviews ^^

Have a nice reading

* * *

 **Chapter 7: Good or bad news?**

A month had passed since the shooting, and there was still no news from a possible donor for Matt. Connor was searching a match with the other blood types, in vain for now. Eliza was asking all the sime to see her father. Gabby had told her she couldn't see him because he was still too yound, she had managed to convince her mother. So today, they came together at the hospital, making their way to the CCU. Connor was doing his check as he saw them both and stopped them immediately.

"I'm sorry Gabby, but you know that kids are not allowed in this ward. It would cause too much stress to bear".

"Connor, Liz needs to see her father. Please".

He sighed, looking down slightly.

"I'm sorry, sincerely. No kids in this ward", he explained again in a whisper.

But Liz was determined to defend herself, no matter what. She wanted to see her father, and she would see her father. Even if it's strictly forbidden.

"I'm not anyone's child ! I'm his daughter !" Liz launched both firmly and proud. "I have to see my father, and my father needs me. Even if you don't want kids here, I'll go see him".

He wanted to talk, but he understood quickly that Liz was as stubborn as her mother and her father reunited, even more. He wasn't going to change her mind. He raised then his head to face Gabby.

"I'm telling you, this isn't a good idea".

"But Liz needs this, and I think Matt too".

After a few seconds, Connor nodded and let them pass. Before entering, Gabby kneeled in front of her daughter and took her hands.

"Before coming in, I have to talk to you about something".

"Okay".

"Daddy is very sick, and he has to sleep a lot to get better. There are some machines aroung him to help. Don't be scared by them, okay?"

"Okay".

She stood up, openning the door and entering into the room. It was the first time Eliza was seeing her father since the shooting. There were so much noises she didn't ever know, echoing in the room. She stopped walking for a few seconds, looking behind her at her mother. She was scared, and Gabby could feel this.

"Everything is alright Liz. We're going to sit on those chairs okay?"

She hardly nodded, following her mother to have a seat. She didn't know all these machines, she never really entered into an hospital before. Or she didn't remember entering into one. There were so much question in her mind, but she didn't want to offend her mother, she didn't want to see her suffer.

"If you have questions Liz, don't hesitate. I know you're scared, but I'm here for you", Gabby affirmed with a slight smile.

After several seconds, she shook her head again. All those machines were frightening her.

"Are they hurting daddy?"

Gabby shook her head from left to right.

"No. All those machines are here to help him. They're not here to hurt him".

"And... This thing? There".

Liz was pointing at the breathing machine.

"Daddy is sleeping very deeply. He can't breathe on his own. This machine is here to do it for him".

"And this big one?"

"This one, it's for his heart. It's not beating, and when a heart isn't beating, then blood can't circulate".

"The heart is the big machine of our body?"

"Yes, sort of", Gabby confirmed with a small smile to reassure her daughter. "This machine is replacing his heart".

Liz was lost but somewhere she felt reassured. Those machines were scaring her, but they were there to help her father, and that was what matter the most for her. But suddenly, Liz thought about something and she frowned.

"Mama? If this machine is here to breathe for daddy... Then how he can eat or drink?"

Gabby hadn't thought about this question. And she didn't really have an answer.

"Do you remember ''once upon a time... life''? The men walking into us?"

"Yes. The ones in our blood?"

"You do remember that there were different forms because they had different functions?"

"Yes, there were sugar, salt, white blood cells, red blood cells and... I don't remember", she admitted, pouting.

"Sugar, salt and the others nutrients you don't remember come from the things we eat and drink. But doctors are able to create them too. They are in those bags, suspended here, and these wires are going into daddy's bloodstream so that these nutrients go directly in it".

"Then... Then daddy doesn't need to eat and drink anymore?"

"Well, technically not. But his stomach won't work otherwise. Doctors have to feed him anyway".

Gabby pointed then Matt's chest.

"They placed a big wire just like the one on his arm to go directly in his stomach, and they come to feed him more easily".

"Because he's sick, isn't it?"

"Yes Liz. Because daddy is sick".

"That's why he isn't waking up and he's sleeping?"

Gabby was cut in her explanations. She hold a sob and some tears, but she couldn't hold a few ones to stream down her cheeks. She turned her head toward Liz, smiling slightly.

"Daddy needs rest to get better. He will wake up soon".

Gabby was trying to convince herself for a month now. She was hoping so much that a miracle could occur and save the man she loved. But it was hard to think about this while thinking of the wellbeing of her daughter, trying to explain to er all these things when she was so young. It was not a life for a five year old child, it was torture. But watching Eliza seeming to hold the shock, she told herself that she had to remain strong. For her daughter.

* * *

The next day, Kelly was training hard again to resume the physical form he had before the shooting. He trained to exhaustion. And Brett couldn't get used to the idea of the man in her life giving everything he had.

"Kelly, babe you should stop for a second".

But he was still training, harder and harder.

"I have to be in shape to get back to work", he explained, convinced by what he said.

"Kelly, you..."

Brett clenched her fists, not knowing how to tell him. But she decided to tell everything, trying to stay as calm as possible.

"You should go see Matt. To the hospital".

Kelly stopped, looking the face of her belove. And after several seconds, he continued.

"And do what. Watching him for hours, lying in a bed technically dead? And feeling even more guilty?"

"Guilty? About what Kelly? Guilty about what?"

Kelly threw what he had in hand to the ground, approaching dangerously Brett as if he was ready to hit her with all his strength.

"About what?! Matt took a bullet for me! His heart stopped for me! So that I can live! I can't go see him knowing that I can't do anything to help him! I can't go see him telling myself I lost a brother! Once again! I can't go see him! I can't! You happy now?!"

Brett had tears in her eyes. She had never saw Kelly like this, so distraught, so vulnerable. It scared her. He passed then near her, grabbing his jacket and leaving the apartment by slamming the door. Brett collapsed to the ground, crying hardly. All this story was too much to bear for everyone, but she just realized it was even harder for Kelly. He felt powerless. Even more than the other guys at the firehouse.

* * *

After having dropped Eliza in preschool, Gabby came back home, feeling weird. Her stomach was hurting her badly without knowing why. Since the morning. At first, she thought about her stress. But it hurt her too bad, and she decided to take some medicine to ease the pain. She grabbed her kit in one of the closets of the bathroom. Something fell then in the sink. She lowered her head, looking down at what had fallen. She took it with her trembling hands. A box of tampons. Full. She thought about something, then panicked.

"No..."

She rushed on her calendar to see when was her last period, sure that it was impossible. Biting her lips, she flipped through her agenda until finding the good page. Two big tears came down her face: April 15th. Two months ago.

"No..."

She grabbed urgently her phone, dialing the first number in her head. Three rings later, someone picked up.

"Gabby?"

"Brett? You... Can you come by please", she asked desperately.

"Gabby, everything okay?"

"I uh... I-I don't know..."

"I'll be right there in three minutes".

Brett hung up and Gabby unlocked the door. She sat on the couch, waiting for her best friend. About five minutes later, Sylvie knocked and entered, as usual. She found Gabby with her legs up on her chest.

"Aw, Gabby".

Brett rushed over her, taking her in her arms to comfort her.

"Tell me what's wrong".

After two minutes, crying hardly, Gabby tended the box to her.

"It fell from the closet this morning", she said avoiding her gaze.

Brett took it in her hands, curious.

"A box of tampons? Why you're getting in a stew for this?"

But when she finished her question, Brett understood while gabby cried increasingly.

"Dawson? You sure about this?"

"It's been two months since my last period Brett! Two months!"

"But you know it can be stress Gabby! You know as good as me! This past month had been exhausting, and your body is compensating by not working correctly".

"But what if I'm really pregnant! Uh? What am I going to do?"

Brett perfectly understood the distress in Gabby. If she was pregnant, then she would have to take care of two children while Matt had a huge chance to not have a match.

"You need to be sure about this. And then, we'll think about it. Together. Alright?"

Gabby took a few seconds to nod. Her stomach was still hurting her, and now that she knew she might be pregnant, she associated this pain to morning sickness.

"I don't want a test. I want a blood test. I want to be absolutely sure", she said, wiping the tears on her eyes.

"Okay. We're going to the hospital then. They'll do a blood test".

Brett brought Gabby to Chicago Med, calling Maggie at the reception.

"Maggie? Gabby needs a blood test. Immediately".

"Meaning?"

"Uh... She might be pregnant".

Maggie knew what Gabby was going through, and she knew that this news would destroy her more than anything else. She didn't want to cause more stress to her organism. She watched her screen, checking all the room to see if one of them was free.

"Room 2. Will will do your blood test".

Will turned, approaching Maggie while the two friends were entering the room.

"What is happening?"

"Gabby's here for a blood test. She might be pregnant", she explained in a murmure.

Will nodded, understanding the shock and the anxiety in Gabby .

"I hope we'll find a donor for Matt. If she's pregnant, it will destroy her".

Maggie the gave him a tablet with her medical records, and went into room 2. entering, he saw Gabby on the bed with her legs on her chest, her head placed on her arms encircling her legs. She was crying. He put his gloves and moved closer.

"Gabby? I have two solutions: either I do this blood test, or I do an ultrasound".

He took a deep breath and continued.

"How far along you think you are?"

Gabby buried her head deeper, crying hardly. It was just a nightmare for her: she already had to take care of Liz, and she could bear another child, and with the possibility to see her belove dead within a monthn she couldn't do it. Not alone, not without Matt.

"Her last period was two months ago", Brett answered for her. "It could be stress, right?"

"High possibility indeed. But if Gabby is doubting, it means there was a sexual activity during this period".

Brett turned her head toward Gabby, passing her hand on her back as support.

"Gabby? Matt and you, you..."

After several seconds, she raised her head, wiping the tears streaming down her face.

"When... When Liz asked for a little brother or sister", she finally managed to say between sobs. "About a month and a half ago. T-that's why..."

"You have a doubt? The date is matching?"

Gabby closed her eyes, nodded before burying her head again.

"You prefer this blood test? Or the ultrasound?"

But Gabby couldn't speack, not now. She felt so helpless. She was unable to bear a possible second baby while Matt's life was in between. She couldn't have another baby, not in these conditions.

"The blood test may be unsuccessful. Do the untrasound", Brett stated.

Still her hand on her back, she realized some soft circles with the palm of her hand, trying to calm down her friend. Will and Brett didn't have to explain the procedure, Gabby knew it already. Then she lay down, pinning her legs on the bed and tried to relax. She closed her eyes as she didn't want to look at the screen. Brett unbuttoned her pants and lifted her shirt so that Will could apply some gel then the probe. The doctor turned on the screen, desactivated the sound because he knew that Gabby didn't want to hear anything. After some minutes, Will found a mass in her lower belly. He increased the accuracy of the probe, looking closer. Brett bit hier lower lip, also looking at the screen. She had seen the same thing as Will, but she preferred to say nothing. She just felt Gabby clutching her hand harder. The silence made her even more nervous.

"So?"

Will took a picture of the screen, making it print while Brett was cleaning Gabby's and dressed her again.

"Brett, talk to me. Tell me I'm not pregnant...", she asked in a whisper.

"Gabby... You are".

The world collapsed around Gabby. She began to cry again. She didn't know whether being happy to give a little brother or sister to Liz, or being sad to not share this happy moment with the man she loved. The one who would probably die within a month.


	8. What is right

Hello readers! Hoped you like the previous chapter and will like this one (of course) :D

I expect a lot of reviews (good and/or bad), because this chapter is taking place on the last day of these two months on the waiting list for Matt, so there is some tension for sure ^^

I can't tell you much, but thank you for the reviews :)

Have a nice reading !

* * *

 **Chapter 8: What is right**

Two months had passed since the shooting. Two scary months, two months of waiting, hoping that the doctors would find a heart for Matt. In vain. Even their research with the other blood types. Gabby was totally desperate, distraught, pulling Liz with her unintentionally into Hell. Kelly didn't know what to do either. He had never gone once in this hospital room where his best friend was lying, half dead. He couldn't face this image, not for the third time. He couldn't bear the shock it would generate. He was increasingly getting away from the people he loved, present in his life from day one, for him. No one understood his behavior, no one understood him. But he had his own reasons. Driving for over an hour, wandering the streets of Chicago, he stopped at a familiar place. He passed the metal grids, reeling along the paths, gazing around him. After several minutes, he stopped. He then face Shay's grave. He sat, gently cleaning the headstone, slightly smiling but also crying.

"Hey Shay. I didn't come here to see you for a long time".

He lowered his head, looking down at the flowered ground.

"But today, it's the right time. You'd always been there to give me some good advice, and today I have to make a choice. The hardest choice in my whole life".

He raisedd his head, his eyes focussed on this picture adorning the grave.

"Two months ago, we were taken in the middle of a shooting, and Matt saved my life. I could have died that day, but... But he was there, and he took the bullet for me. If he wanted a chance to survive, we had to find him a new heart within two months".

Without controlling his emotions, Kelly let out a few tears. They were streaming down his face, falling to the ground or wetting his pants.

"It's been two months today, and the doctors didn't find a damn heart for him. Nothing".

He clenched his fists, holding a sob.

"The doctors will stop his care tonight, and... And I can't live with this idea. This idea to lose another brother".

He stopped for a moment, trying to regain control of his emotions invading him and making him so vulnerable.

"Matt and I are sharing the same blood type, same rhesus. I asked for a match with him. And... And I am matching, 87%".

He closed his eyes, taking some deep breaths and exhaling as calmly as possible.

"It's enough to give him my heart, but... But I'm scared to death. I'm frightened Shay. If I do nothing, Matt will die tonight and I will live in remorse, I will feel guilty for not having saved him while I could have. But If I give him my heart, nobody will understand why I did this, why I lost life to save my brother".

Shedding some fresh tears, he tried to wipe them, in vain.

"I want to do what is right. My guilt or their misunderstanding. Save Matt so he can enjoy his family and his future baby, or do nothing and blame myself forever".

He lay down on the grass, closing his eyes to take the best decision possible. In reality, he knew the answer, but it was scaring him even more to not doing it right. He remained still for about an hour, and he decided to do it. He had to save his brother, no matter what. He straightened, passing his fingers on the letters of the headstone and looking one last time at this picture of the one he loved before Sylvie.

"I hope she will understand why I did this, I hope she will forgive me".

Kelly got up, venturing again in the aisles before getting out of the cementery and entered his car. He knew that Sylvie was at the hospital to comfort Gabby, so he could go home without being noticed. Once home, he took some paper, a pen and two envelopes. He began to write three letters, placing them into the envelopes, one with one letter and the other with the other two. He closed them, writing the addresses on the front, then left for the closest post office, explaining what he wanted to do. The director of the agency received him into his office to talk, taking care to understand the situation before agreeing to do what Kelly wanted. After about thirty minutes of discussion, Kelly got out, entering his car again. It was time. He turned on the engine, driving continually to find the best place to do what he had in head. He knew what to do, he also knew how to do it: as a firefighter, he knew. But he was still driving along the streets, afraid. Was it going to hurt, was he going to do it right, was he going to make a mistake. Was he going to fail, simply. It made him sick to think that he could unwittingly sacrifice his life in vain. After spending an hour to clear his head and focus on how to do that, how to make the hardest decision of his life, he took a deep breath and exhaled calmly and softly. He was ready.

* * *

A few dozen minutes later, the ER of Chciago Med was overwhelmed. The physicians had been warned four minutes earlier that a serious car accident happened and the paramedics were bringing a seriously injured polytrauma. Maggie had prepared Baghdad, the trauma room 2, to treat him as soon as possible. Suddenly, the doors opened and doctors saw appear a stretcher and two women, the paramedics.

"John doe, extracted from his vehicle. He hit an electric tower at full speed. Pulse at 60, pressure dropping at 6 over 3, GCS at 3 on scene. Intubated in the ambulance without anesthesia, multiples broken bones and lacerations due to the impact".

Will opened the eyes of this new patient and took his penlight. No pupillar reaction. He checked his reflexes, his reaction to orders, but the doctor still hadn't any response. This John Doe was brain dead.

"No paper on him? Driver license, identity card, organ donor card...", he asked the paramedics.

"Nothing. Just his clothes".

Will looked down the bed to see his clothes. A simple ripped blue shirt, a dark pants. But suddenly, April screamed and ran her hand over her mouth, in shock. Will startled and gazed at the nurse while she let out some tears.

"April? You know this man?"

Closing her eyes, she nodded. With a trembling voice, she announced who it was.

"It's... It's Kelly".

"What? What do you mean?" Will asked, surprised.

"Severide if you prefer. We had to call Brett".

She had already turned, but the doctor stopped her.

"April Wait! We have to stabilize him first".

At the same time, Maggie appeared at the door.

"Need help?"

"Yes Maggie. Can you bring me a tablet with the medical records of Kelly Severide please?"

"Right away".

She turned to go back to her desk and find this records and a tablet, but she stopped straight. A doctor asked for a patient record only if he was treating this patient. She turned sharply, putting her hands on the door frame.

"Don't tell me it's... It's..."

"I'm afraid it is Maggie. But don't tell anybody yet. He have to stabilize him above all".

Hardly, Maggie nodded and returned to her office, in shock. She came back a few minutes later with the tablet and the medical record downloaded. Will flipped it and stopped on an intriguing file.

"Oh God", he let out.

"What? What is it?" April asked then.

"He asked a matching test with Matt to Connor a month and a half ago".

"Doctor, don't tell me he..."

"Kelly is matching with Matt", he interrupted. "87%".

April closed her eyes, lowering her head and letting out new tears. As a nurse, she know what this high match meant.

"His heart is matching".

"Yeah. I page Connor".

Five minutes later, Dr. Rhodes arrived into the room.

"So, what do we got?"

"Connor, it's Kelly. He's brain dead".

Connor stopped his progress towards the bed, stunned by what Will had just confessed. He sighed.

"He has waited until the end..."

"Until the end?! What do you mean?" Dr. Halstead asked, completely puzzled.

"Kelly asked me a matching test with Matt over a month ago. He's matching with him, and he gave me his instructions: his heart belonged to Matt, so that he can have the transplant and continue his life".

"Wait, hold on a sec", Will interrupted. "You mean that this accident... Wasn't an accident, but a deliberate act?!"

Connor couln't help but nod, unable to talk. He sighed, simply.

"We have to call Sylvie. And Gabby. Ask them to go down to the ER, they must be in Matt's room".

"I call the CCU nurses' station".

April grabbed the phone, dialed the reception number, asking the nurse in charge to tel Dawson and Brett to go down to the ER. About six minutes later, they were both in front of Maggie. Connor got out, walking over them and asking them to have a seat. As Matt's heart surgeon, Gabby was puzzled.

"You found a donor for Matt?"

Connor gazed at her: she had regained hope in a second. He took a deep breath and told the truth.

"Indeed, we found a matching heart for Matt. That's why I asked you both down here".

"B-both?"

Connor then tore his gaze from Gabby to put it on Sylvie. She hadn't understood yet, and it was sure she would be in shock after this revelation. And he didn't know how to tell this. But Sylvie had understood before Connor could talk.

"No... No, I don't believe you..."

She was shaking her head from side to side, tears streaming down her face. Then she rose and left the ER. Gabby was the only one who hadn't understood. Or rather she was suspecting something wanted the confirmation. She swallowed nervously, the light in her eyes changing from hope to sadness.

"Who. Is the donor".

After several endless seconds, Connor looked down, and answered.

"Kelly".

It was stronger than Gabby: she slapped Connor with all her strength on his cheek, tormented by anger and sadness.

"You had not done enough with Matt, then you're picking on Kelly?" she shouted, fury in her eyes.

She got up to join Sylvie, leaving Connor alone with his left cheek on fire after this monumental slap. He rose and went straight into Sharon's office. He knocked, and she let him come in. She saw immediately that something was off.

"There is a problem Dr. Rhodes?"

"Kind of. And I don't know how to talk about it".

"Dr. Rhodes, if you want my help or my protection, I need you to talk to me, otherwise I won't be able to help you".

Connor shook his head quickly before taking a deep breath".

"Kelly just caused an accident to be brain dead and give his heart to Matt".

Facing the suddenness of this information, Sharon opened her mouth but couldn't speak. She sat in her chair in shock.

"But... Something is avoiding you to do the surgery, to do this transplant", she forced herself to say, trying to show any emotion.

He nodded, looking down.

"Sylvie and Gabby didn't face the news very well".

He heard Sharon sigh and rise without seeing her.

"I presume I have to be the mediator?"

"I need your help. Gabby wants Matt to live and Kelly's heart can do it. And Brett was in a relationship with him. They don't accept the situation and it will be two months tonight. Within a few hours, Matt could no longer legally receive Kelly's heart".


	9. 5:50

Hello everone! DON'T KILL ME FOR WHAT I DID ON THE PREVIOUS CHAPTER! Because my first decision was to kill Matt and Kelly not matching with him. But as I wrote the last chapter in a sudden wave of insipration, I decided to kill Severide to save Matt (matching with him then). I know I know, you're sad etc. I know. I also cried out loud by writing TWICE those chapters (in french, AND in english).

So here is a new chapter (hi to my tweet fans who are harassing me :D). It is very much longer than usual because I decided to included as much details as possible (you will know what I mean by reading). So I'm very sorry if I did a lot of mistakes (including tiping, words misunderstanging...), but my english medical terms knowledge is poor and in progress.

I wrote this chapter with three successive points of vue (you will understand).

I also have to thank you for leaving me some reviews. You didn't see this coming and I'm glad what I wanted to do worked. Just one reader (hello jewel ^^) knew what would happen (and I didn't say anything) but I let her in "a total blur" (didn't know how to say that, sorry).

Please, leave me a review about what you have thought about this chapter.

* * *

 **Chapter 9: 5:50**

Sylvie had decided to get out to take some fresh air in the garden. She sat on a bench, watching untiringly in the vacuum with her red wet eyes, tears rolling endlessly on her cheeks. She couldn't believe that such a thing had happened. Not now, not today. Not Kelly. Her Kelly. Why he had this acccident? Had he triggered it? Had he lied to her? To her? Although they promised to never lie to each other? She didn't know what to think in the moment, invaded by this sudden sadness. Soon, Gabby joined her, sitting next to her and taking her into her arms.

"Sylvie... I am sincerely sorry..."

It was true, elthough deep down, she was a little bit relieved: Matt was going to have a new heart in time and could live beside her until the end. But this mourning moment was contrasting with this inside relieve.

"Gabby... I know you're sorry, trully... But you should be happy, alright? Matt will have a heart from the man I love! You should be the happiest woman in this world!" she stated by breaking the hug.

Brett was both sad and angry. Sad because she lost her belove, angry to see Gbaby to cheer her up while she was going to take advantage of this unfair death. She sighed, looking down.

"You are right, I should be happy. But Kelly was also my friend, and he was a brother for Matt. I can't believe he did this to save him...", she finally admitted.

"Why he did this? He... A month ago we had an argument. I... I wanted him to go see Matt and... And he got angry, shouting that he felt guilty for not being able to do something".

Sylvie's cries increased. Gabby didn't know what to say in reality. She was as helpless as her best firend. Unable to utter a word, they said nothing, still in each other's arms. About five minutes later, Sharon came at them.

"Sylvie, Gabby. I am sincerely sorry for your loss".

Raising their head, they wiped the tears streaming down their cheeks.

"You're here to convince me to give Kelly's heart to Matt?"

"I'm not here only for this. I am here to explain his choice".

Brett opened her eyes, plunging her gaze in Sharon's one, lost and puzzled.

"When Kelly has been aware of the situation, he immediately asked a compatibility test to Dr. Rhodes. And a few days later, we had the results: he was matching at 87%, which is enough to perform a heart transplant".

She gave them the time to cigest the news before continuing.

"Since then, Kelly has everything set up so that if we failed to find a heart for Matt in time, he will give him his heart. He had to sign documents, his consents, he had to write his will. He even authorized every possible organ donation on him, so that other people could benefit from his hypothetical sacrifice. He organized everything".

Despite having wiped the tears, they continued to flow down their cheeks. It was much stronger than them. Knowing that Kelly had done this without telling them about this shocked them deeply.

"Why he didn' tell us?"

"He didn't want you to be prepared for this eventuality. He couldn't look into your eyes and tell you that if we couldn't find a heart for Matt, he would sacrifice his life to provide one for him. He didn't want to cause more stress on you while you are carrying Matt's child", she explained looking at Gabby. "And he didn't want to give you the opportunity to doubt of his decision. Because he knew that you would do everything you could to dissuade him for doing such a thing", she said looking at Brett. "He didn't want you to undergo such a pain. And he couldn't bear such a pain either".

Kelly had understood everything: he knew that Sylvie would try to convince him to not give his life for Matt and stay at her beside. And he knew even more that this information would cause more stress for Gabby and would have led to a miscarriage. He had planned everything in two months top. And Brett knew that if he did this, then she had to go up to the end and allow the transplant. Because that was what he had wanted from day one.

"Can... Can I see him?"

Sharon began to nod before changing her mind.

"Of course. Come with me".

All three got up to enter in the ER again. Mrs. Goodwin brought them in trauma 2 where Kelly was treating. Sharon opened the door then the curtains, exposing this unconceivable scene. Sylvie put her right hand over her mouth, holding an umpteenth sob while coming closer.

"Oh God", Gabby let out.

Kelly's face was soiled by blood despite all the efforts from the nurses to clean it, a tube was obstructing his mouth and throat, allowing a mahcine breathing for him. There were also wires attached to his forehead and connected to an EEG measuring any brain activity, his bruised chest was exposed and three other wires were placed on his chest to measure his heart rate, a BP-cuff was around his right arm and there were multiple IVs were going on his arm to keep him alive. The scene was very hard to bear, for both Gabby and Sylvie, especially for the latter. She then ran her free hand in the hair of the man she loved more than anything, not hilding this sob anymore. She shed a few tears, inhaling deeply.

"And... And you're sure that he's... Well, I mean..."

Dr. Rhodes had come near Sharon and Gabby and had understood what Sylvie wanted to know aithout finishing.

"There are no reflex, no reaction to the pain", he began to explain. "And his CT-scan and EEG show no brain activity. Kelly... Kelly is indeed brain dead".

Sylvie closed her eyes, leaving the tears fall down straight to the ground. Kelly would never come back to her. For over a month, he had prepared everything in case of that moment. She understood that she had to go up to the end. For Kelly, for the one she loved. Because if she didn't accept this, Gabby would live with this her whole life. She would live in despair of not having at her side the man she loved to raise their two children. And she would live herself in remorse for not having continued Kelly's fight. She was convinced. She took a deep breath and turned her head, facing three gazes.

"Do it. Kelly did this to save Matt. Then save him. And don't fail".

"I will do everything in my power to not fail. For Matt. And for Kelly".

Brett shook slightly her head up to down, crying and passing one last time her hand in his hair. She leaned over him to kiss the man she loved, the one who had sacrificed his whole future life with her to give to Matt the opportunity to continue his own, near Gabby and his daughter, but also this future child he wasn't even aware.

"We need to hurry. In a dozen minutes, we won't be able to do the transplant, and Kelly would have never accepted this".

Sylvie let out a laugh while she was still crying.

"Yeah, he would never forgive us", she confirmed.

She watched the bed as it was moving away, going to the OR. Soon, Matt was also taken to this same dingy OR to do the transplant. At 6pm, it would no longer take place, and it was already 5pm.

* * *

In the main OR, the nurses were doing everything they could to gather the necessary material and install Matt to start the operation immediately after Kelly's heart would have been cleared for the transplant by the harvest team. In the second OR, the second group od nurses was also busy to settle everything. All the surgeons realizing this tricky operation were washing their hands and dressing his scrubs and gowns. In less than fifteen minutes, the rooms were ready, as well as the surgeons. Dr. Hemera, the second cardio-surgeon of the hospital grabbed then a scalpel and raised his head to the clock.

"Time of first incision 5:20".

He then began his work: he sheared Kelly's chest from the base of his neck to his stomach. He then cut the ribcage muscles to reach his sternum. Once done, a nurse handed him a saw to cut the bone in two and reach the heart.

"Retractor".

Placing it in the wound, the second surgeon turned the screw used as a crank to go directly to the heart muscle. The surgeon continued to cut the last muscles separating him of the precious organ.

"Aspiration please", he asked to his assistant.

Although the room were air conditioned, the tension was palpable among the surgical team. Dr. Hemera could feel a few drops of sweat on his forehead, soon wiped by a nurse.

"Thanks".

He checked the heart: before any transplant, the surgeon had to determine whether heart was really viable, meaning no visible injuries or bruises and normal heart contractions. He plunged his hands into Kelly's chest, returning the heart and taking it in his hands to check again and again. The heart was viable. Not rasing his head or turning it, he talked to the coordinating team allowing a perfect synchronisation between the two surgical teams, the one with Kelly and the one with Matt.

"Call Dr. Rhodes and tell hil we're ready. He can begin the operation to receive the heart".

"Right away".

The nurse grabbed the phone to warn the other room. After having hung up, he explained that the other team was read yto receive the graft.

"Okay then. We can continue. Cardioplegia".

That was one of the crutial steps of the surgery: stop the heart muscle.

"And prepare some clamps. We must act quickly", he continued.

The assistant took the syringe full of potassium ion to stop Kelly's heart. Dr. Hemera slightly clamped the aorta so that the other surgeon could introduce the syringue in the aortic root without any problem. He injected the substance while the tending surgeon raised his head to look at the clock. The heartbeat resonating in the room stopped suddenly, making the monitor creak continuously.

"Time of death 5:50".

A nurse cut the sound of the monitor to allow the team to continue the surgery in calm despite the pressure on their shoulders.

"Clamp".

A nurse handed him one to Hemera while another nurse handed another one to the second surgeon.

"Clamp the vena cava, I take care of the pulmonary veins and pulmonary artery".

His assistant, Dr. Manfred, nodded and continued. He clamped the two vena cava while Hemera was blocking the pulmonary veins, the the pulmonary artery. They took then a deep breath.

"Scissors".

A nurse came to wipe once again the sweat on their forehead while Hemera took the scissors and Menfred took care of the aspiration. He cut the veins one by one, then get the heart out of Kelly's chest. He placed carefully the precious graft in a iced bowl brought by the nurse from the coordinating team.

"Bring it to Dr. Rhodes right now while we take the other organs. Time is running out".

He nodded then got out of the OR to enter the second one. Dr. Hemera was right: it lasted five minutes.

* * *

While Dr. Hemera and Dr. Manfred were doing the first part of the operation, Dr. Rhodes was preparing his team.

"We just have one try, and we must act quickly to not be over 6pm. After 6pm, we won't be able to do the transplant and the heart won't be viable anymore. We must prepare Mat before receiving the graft and install it. Come on! Let's go to work!"

He clapped his hands to encourage his team and set them to work. The main advantage was that Matt was already on bypass, and thus the operation was likely to end earlier than usual. Everybody set up in order to start the operation. The phone rang and one nurse from the coordinating team picked up.

"Dr. Hemera says it's almost over and you can begin the operation".

"Alright".

She hund up while Connor took a deep breath and tended his hand.

"Scalpel please".

Once in hand, he looked at the chock.

"Time of first incision 5:37"

He also made a large incision from the base of the neck to the stomach, cutting the peripheral muscles. Then he took the saw to cut the sternum in half, to separate the two parts of his chest and to reach Matt's inactive heart.

"Clamp please".

He grabbed the held out to him, and his assistant did the same. Will had insisted to do the surgery with Dr. Rhodes to assist him. Having been trained in trauma surgery, he already knew a part of the procedure and he could be a great help for Connor. He also took a clamp in hand, waiting for the instructions.

"Dr. Halstead, you will clamp the vena cava below the bypass cannula, as gently and carefully as possible".

He nodded, burying his hand into Matt's chest to realize the clamp of the two veins. Once done, Connor clamped the pulmonary artery.

"Clamps", Connor ordered. "And aspiration".

Taking a new clamp in hand, Will waited the end of the aspiration by the nurse to continue.

"Now, you will clamp the two pulmonary veinw or your side while I will clamp mine".

A nurse came to wipe the sweat of their face. Will continued by trying to stay as calm as possible despite his hard beating heart into his chest. His hands were clammy, wondering how Connor could remain keep his cool in such a moment. He took a deep breath and plunged again his hand in the wound to clamp the two veins while Connor was doing the same thing on his side.

"A last clamp".

Connor took it and clamped the last vains: the aorta.

"BP dropping at 8 over 5", a nurse announced.

"I increase the rotation speed of the regulating pumps", the assistant in charge of the bypass informed.

He then increased the flow control to increase Matt's blood pressure.

"BP is coming up. 10 over 7".

A noiseless wave of relief spread in the air conditioned room.

"Vitals are stable", the nurse reassured, allowing the two doctors to continue the operation.

"Scissors please".

Two nuses prepared some of them, tending them to each of the two colleagues and friends.

"Now, you're going to cut below these clamps".

Will did what Connor had asked, taking care of the two vena cava then the two pulmonary veins of his side while Connor was doing the same on his. Then, Dr. Rhodes sectionned the aorta and the pulmonary artery so that Dr. Halstead could take Matt's heart in his hand and get it out of his chest.

"Time of sampling: 5:56".

Connor then turned his head toward the door whilst it burst open. It was Kelly's heart. The nurse came beside him so that Connor could take the graft in hand. He positionned it into Matt's chest so that the bottom of the left atrium he had left was laid in face of the entrance of the graft.

"Doctor? It is six PM".

A cold wave settled: Connor hadn't begun the suture of the left atrium yet. 6PM was the time they decided to retire Matt from the transplant list and also the time he couldn't receive a viable heart. He sighed, closing his eyes. He raised his head, opening wide his blue eyes, gazing at his entire team. Everyone nodded one by one. And the two nurse from the coordination team nodded too.

"Selia? It's me or the clock is two minutes early?"

She turned, looking at the clock, then the one from the empty observation room.

"You're completely right Dr. Rhodes. I'll report the problem to the reception after the surgery", she confirmed.

Every staff member knew the story of this man lying on the table, and this crazy act done by his best friend to save his life as well. They also knew the consequences of this ''late'' early two minutes in their career. If this act came out of the OR, their career would end. But they were all sure about this, they would do this until the end.

"Anyone not wishing to be impacted by this decision may come out of this OR. Or shut up forever".

No one moved an inch. Connor and Will shared a look, smiling at each other.

"Suture".

Will took the aspiration and some compressive gauze in hand, assisted by a nurse while Connor took a needle and a wire.

"Time of suture: 5:59", he announced without looking at the clock.

He began the suture of the left atrium helped by Will and a nurse. Once done, he did the right atrium and after a dozen minutes, they began to suture his aorta and his pulmonary artery. Connor carefully cut a part of the pericardium muscles to separate the two arteries and to make them visible..

"Suture".

Connor closed entirely the pulmonary artery, taking great care that the arterial walls of the graft and those of Matt overlap to prevent any seepage.

"I need aspiration over there", he ordered the nurse.

The area had to be as dry as possible in order to perform the procedure in the most perfect conditions. He continued suturing with Will, the nurse keeping the pericardial area dry.

"Another suture please".

Taking another suture, he asked a nurse to wipe his forehad again. Stress, tension, fatigue were here in every muscles of everyone, expecially the two surgeons. Connor then began to suture the aorta, taking care to not accidentally dropping the cannulas of the bypass, which could cause the patient's death, Matt's death. About fifteen minutes later, he began to sigh deeply: the major part of the surgery was over. Connor ordered everyone one by one to stretch out, relax and crack a few joints to stretch sore muscles. After five minutes, they went back to work.

"Gas purging".

Connor carefully placed the purging in his heart to aspirate the air in the graft. Will and Dr. Rhodes sutured together the superior vena cava then the inferior one. It was the last veracious moment: the one when everyone in the team would know if the transplant had worked or not. Connor and Will took a deep breath simultaneously.

"This is it".

"Yeah. We'll remove the clamp to restore gradually the blood flow. Prepare the internal paddles just in case".

"They're behind you Doctor", a nurse affirmed.

Connot grabbed gently the clamp blocking the aorta and removed it carefully, and Will did the same with the other clamps, one by one. Matt's new heart then filled with blood, doctors and nurses holding their breath at that precise moment. Having been cooled with ice to be preserved the time for pass from the first OR to the second one, the heart had to be warmed with the heat exchanger of the bypass before anything. They waited a few minutes to give the time needed for the heart to have its original temperature back. A faint cry then invaded the room: the heart monitor.

"V-fib", the nurse stated.

"Alright. Give me the paddles and charge at five joules"

He took the internal paddles while the nurse charged the defibrillator.

"Charged".

"Clear".

Everyone stepped back of the table as Dr. Rhodes inserted the paddles in the wound to reach the heart and activated them. A slight beep, then two, and finally some spread into the room and came at everyone's ears.

"Heart rate stable at 120, BP at 10 over 7", the nurse informed Dr. Rhodes, smiling.

Connor romeoved the paddles, relieved. He glanced at Will, who nodded. They did it. Now they had to leave a few minutes of adaptation to the new heart. After fifteen minutes and a discussion with the specialist in charge of the cardiopulmonary bypass, they decided to reduce by-step the dependence to it. Gradually, the surgeons completely restored the blood flow and let the heart do its job, fully. It was a total success.

"Okay! We place chest tubes, the wires of the external pacemaker and we're done".

The pacemaker was vital during the first days in case of his heart rate would be too low. The heart then had to be stimulated to resume a stronger and faster activity and avoid any accidents. About thirty minutes later, the wires and the tubes were in place, Connor ordered the closure of his chest. He realized one by one the six steel wire loops to pick up the half-sternum together and their reconsolidation during the two months following the operation. When all possible and imaginable danger was averted, he looked up and smiled.

"Can you close? I will talk to Gabby and Sylvie and tell them the news".

"No problem", Wil lassured in a nod.

Connor got out of the OR, removing his gloves, his mask, and his hair protection and his gown, then went to the waiting room.

* * *

A long stressful and frightening moment. That was what was going through Gabby along with Sylvie. She got up, turning around in this white empty room, stroking her belly tirelessly, sat down again to rest a litle and did this again and again. Sharon arrived about half an hour later to try to reassure the two women and to answer any questions to which she was able to answer.

"I have to know what is going to happen. Exactly", Sylvie asked then, breaking the heavy silence. "I need to know how the man I love will die", she said firmly.

"Well... Dr. Hemera will open his chest to have an access to the heart. Then he will inject a solution full of potassium ions to stop his heart".

"It's fast?"

"After the injection, it's instantaneous".

It reassured Sylvie in a way. To know that it was be fast.

"And then?"

"Ensuite they will clamp every veins and arteries and cut them. His heart will be plunged into ice the time for Matt to receive it".

"And... How much time it takes?".

"The first part won't be long, about an hour, not more. Then the transplant will be much harder. But as Matt is already on bypass, the surgery should take less time than usual".

"That's not an answer".

Sharon was looking at the two women. Sylvie was sitting, trying to stay calm and remain still despite the situation, Gabby was standing up and sitting down again, constantly sighing deeply each time.

"If everything is going perfectly, a little over three hours".

"Still two more hours then...", Sylvie mumbled.

Fear that everything would go wrong, everything would get out of control, that Kelly's heart wouldn't be strong enough to support the transplant. All this came in Gabby's mind at the same time. Sharon suspected what she was thinking about this, many transplants took place here in the hospital before Matt.

"If it can make you feel better, we tested Kelly's heart and its reliability about a month ago. And his heart was in perfect health, it was a perfect heart for Matt. He trained really hard every day to give him his heart in the best conditions possible".

"Trained?"

Brett understood something: all those exercises he was doing at home and outside.. It wasn't to get back to work as soon as possible, it was to assure Matt a greater chance to have a healthy heart and pull through the transplant. She sighed, burying her head in her hands, crying.

"I didn't see anything at all", she mumbled again. "I saw him train physically very hard, he told me it was to go back to work as soon as possible, that... That every time the doctor did not give him the green light to come back..."

Someone knocked on the door and entered the room. All three raised their head to have a look: their family, all the firefighters from 51 were there with downed faces and red eyes. Someone had put them aware of what had happened and they came immediately.

"We told ourselves that... Our place were here, with you", Herrmann said, totally saddened.

No one uttered a word, but this silence meant everything. Sadness, incomprehension. One by one, the firefighter entered the room, sitting on one of these awful chairs. Herrmann moved closer to Gabby to hug her while Joe was doing the same with Sylvie. They were both crying endlessly.

"I'm trully sorry Sylvie..", he whispered into her ears.

"Thanks Joe", she simplay managed to say.

"It wasn't an accident, uh?"

Sylvie broke the hug and shook her head, closing her eyes.

"He... He triggered the accident to... To give his heart to Matt", he confirmed out loud.

A new cold wave settled. No one dared to speak and expected this. Sharon had just told then that Kelly had a car accident and that his heart would be transplanted on Matt, nothing else.

"He did what?" Otis asked, in utter incomprehension.

"He sacrified his life to save Matt, that's what Kelly did!" Brett stated angry. "He killed himself to save his brother!"

Nobody didn't know how to react.

"But... Why he didn't tell us?"

"He didn't want me to dissuade him", Sylvie explained more calmly. "And he didn't want to stress even more Gabby. He knew we would all try to stop him so he said nothing to avoid this. He... He had prepared everything in the slightest details".

"He knew? I mean, he knew that he could give his heart to Casey?"

"For over a month", Gabby continued. "He knew from day one, and he waited the last day to do it. He had faith that the doctors could find a heart for Matt in time".

In shock, both sad and relieved, the firefighters didn't know which emotions were good or bad.

"It's a noble decision from Severide", Herrmann said then as calmy as he could. "We must respect his choice and not discuss it. What is done is done, and we can't go back. At least, his sacrifice won't be vain: Matt will see Eliza growing up and this new bud' as well", he said, pointing Gabby's belly.

Instinctively she put her hand on it. Gabby was pregnant for almost three months, and a bulge was forming slowly. Eliza had not been aware of the pregnancy because if Matt couldn't have been saved, she would have asked for an abortion She couldn't raise a new child without Matt, his child. Their child. Psychologically, she could not. Some news agonizing minutes passed before a doctor came into the room to meet them.

"You are here for Kelly Severide?"

"Yes? I am... I mean, I was his grilfriend".

"I know the circumstances are uncommon, but I personnaly wanted to tell you that Kelly officially died a few minutes ago. I'm trully sorry".

Brett looked down before closing them. She let some tears stream down her cheeks again. It wass over, Kelly was gone for good.

"The other teams are here?" Sharon asked, talking about the other harvest teams.

"They're all here and relaying".

He didn't say more, ready to leave the room before being interrupted by Gabby.

"And Matt? My... My husband?"

"Unfrotunately, I can't tell you anything because I don't know anything. We worked in two separated and coordinated teams, mine and Dr. Rhodes one. It's on him to give you some news now".

Dr. Hemera smiled slightly and left the room in a tensed silence while Sylvie was crying the man she'd loved, comforted by Cruz as he could. Gabby rose again and again with no end, hoping that everything goes as expected. When it was about 8:30pm, the door of the waiting room opened again, revealing Dr. Rhodes. The surgery was over and he seemed tired, sweat was rolling down his face. No one knew if the transplant worked. He came closer, approaching a nervous Gabby who had gotten up again and was caressing her belly. But in a nanoseconds, his facial features changed and relaxed.

"Everything went as planned, the heart is in perfect health, heart beats are strong and regular. As I said, all went as expected", Dr. Rhodes assured.

A wave of relief invaded the room vest quickly. Even Gabby offered to herself an intense relaw moment before coming back to reason.

"What will happen now?"

"Well, Matt will remain sedated for about a day, until we judge him stable enough. Then we'll wake him up slowly".

"And he still will have the... The breathing machine?"

"Until he can breathe on his own, yes. It won't take long, couples hours after his awakening, a day at most and then he will remain on oxygen with a mask".

"And after that?"

"Then he will stay monitered very closely for a few days in ICU and will be transferred to CCU for about a month if all goes well. And gradually he will be transferred to a suitable rehab center".

"How much time before going back to normal?"

"I would say at least three, four months, it will depend on Matt. If everything will go as I expect, five months".

"And... His job?"

"He's lucky I think. As he's a battalion chief, I presume he doesn't go into a structure fire that often?"

"Na, most of the time he remains outside, leading and coorditating. It's rare to see him entering a burning building now and running everywhere!" Herrmann confirmed, laughing.

"So this will ease his gradual return to work! After five months of recovery, he should be able go back to work without problems on condition that he does not force too much".

"And his treatment?"

"We started it at the beginning of the surgery so that his body doesn't attack his new heart. As you may know, a transplant means a treatment to be taken for life. We still need to adjust the doses, but as the compatibility is high, they will be low. We started the induction treatment he will have for the next three days based on Simulect to prevent acute rejection and cortidoïdes in high dose to create the basis of his anti-rejection treatment. Then from the fourth day, he will start taking the real treatment: neoral, solupred and myfortic to prevent any rejection. We'll ajust the doses based on his reaction and side effects".

"And I can go see him? I can go see Matt?"

"We'll set him up to a room in ICU and the I'll ask a nurse to comme here and pick you up".

Connor smiled slightly at Gabby and turned his head to Sylvie.

"I am sincerely sorry for your loss. I wanted you to know that he hasn't stopped thinking about you all the time while we put everything in place. He wanted you to suffer the least possible of his decision".

He looked down then got out of the room, leaving the firefighters into it, shared between sadness of Kelly's sacrifice and joy that this sacrifice wasn't in vain.


	10. Watching over you

Hello my dear readers! As you may know and/or see, I'm updating very oftenly this story and not realy as often the other ones. But I have my reasons: I have much more inspiration (for now), for this story than the others.

A little point, because I have "a lot" of people asking me why I killed Kelly: I have many solutions. My first idea was to kill Matt and let his "mind" in the real world (as a Ghost Whisperer episode). I asked someone (hello, if you're reading) for some advices, and she didn't like. So I changed my mind. After that, I kept the first three chapters, I wrote the last chapter in a wafe of inspiration, and I was "Oah, that's the perfect ending", SO I decided to write the rest of the story (sill in progress). Again, I have two solutions: kill Matt and leave Gabby with Liz and a new baby (or she will ask for abortion) and Kelly will live in remorse because he was the one who should have taken that bullet (that killed Matt). OR kill Kelly so he can give his heart (to Matt) and Matt can live with his girls and the new baby (I didn't really decided the sex yet). I read a lot, to have some extra informations about heart transplant, and DON'T WORRY! For the fans of Kelly Severide (hello again): he will appear again several times! I PROMISE!

Now, it's time to read this new chapter (again, I know). I hope you will like it, and leave me a review after having read :)

Thank you again for the reviews!

* * *

 **Chapter 10: Watching over you**

Christie had proposed to watch over Eliza for the day, and it reassured Gabby a little to know what she wouldn't have to bring her daughter near her father and watch him die. To tell the truth, Christie didn't have the strength to come and see her brother, she was too terrified for that. And no one had explained the situation to her. So, Gabby decided to call and give her the news. She wiped the tears still rolling down her cheeks with the sleeves of her sweater, then grabbed her phone with her trembling hand and dialed the number of her sister-in-law.

"Gabby? Gabby it's you?"

Lost, unable to utter a single word, she shut up, bitting her lips. Because she hadn't understood this silence, Christie began to cry.

"It's over, isn't it? My little brother is dead?"

She collapsed to the ground, crying endlessly. Fortunately, Eliza and Violet couldn't see her like this because they were in bed. In the waiting room, Herrmann had immediately understood that Gabby had called Matt's sister but was unable to talk because of all the emotions. He approached her, clutching Gabby's hand so that she let go and he could answer for her. She looked the one she considered as her mentor. There were no words to say, everyone knew what each other wanted. So she gave him her phone and nodded slightly, as a sign of thanks. He then placed the phone to his ear to answer.

"Christie, this is Christopher Herrmann".

"Herrmann, tell me it's a nightmare".

"Casey is not dead, Christie".

There was a silence while Christie stopped crying suddenly.

"W-what?"

"He uh... There was a last minute donor", Herrmann precised without giving details.

She opened her mouth, but she was hit by the same disease: she was unable to utter a word.

"Casey ust came out of surgery, and... And the transplant worked", she finally said with a smile.

"My... Brother is alive?"

Nervously, Christie started laughing. Until cry again. All this stress she had accumulated during those two terrifying and long months just came out of her and went away, disapearing in a second. She was relieved.

"Christie, are you okay?"

"Yeah! I'm just uh..."

"Emotional? Happy?"

"Yeah, exactly! Gabby and Kelly must be the happiest people in this world right now!"

A new silence and a huge cold settled. Herrmann didn't know how to tell her the truth.

"Herrmann? There is a problem?"

He swallowed hardly, taking a deep breath before answering.

"There is another new".

"Herrmann, you're scaring me now".

The anxiety that had left her had come back, invading every cell of her body. This feeling she was trying to control, wasn't anymore, it was adamant.

"I won't beat around the bush. The last minute donor... It's Kelly", he explained in a grave and sad tone.

The time for her to understand what Herrmann had just said, she remained still in her living room, her knees to the ground.

"W-what?"

"Kelly... Sacrified his life to give a heart to Matt. His heart".

Some few fresh tears streamed down her face, falling to the ground and her legs, noiseless. She put her free and trembling hand over her mouth, holding a sob.

"This is a joke, right? Tell me this is a joke".

"Unfrotunately not. Matt is alive thanks to him, thanks to his heart".

Herrmann didn't know what to say, looking each firefighters holding a sob as well. Even if she was totally a mess, Christie decided to stay strong: she raised her head, wiping the tears on her face and took a deep breath.

"How are Sylvie and Gabby?"

"They uh... They try to... I don't know. We're all in shock. We are... Sad and mourning for Severide, but... But we also have this happiness to know that Casey will live. Thanks to his sacrifice".

He stopped for a moment, feeling the tears coming to his eyes.

"We don't know what to feel right now", he finally managed to say.

Christie felt bad. She wanted to stay strong, courageous and come near this united family, but she couldn't leave the two girls on their own. If she did this, she would be regligent.

"Can I call you back in a few minutes? I'll call Antonio to see if he can watch over the girls. I want to come, but I can't leave them alone".

"No problem. Be careful though, he's not aware".

"Okay. Do I have to... To tell him?"

"Uh... I don't know. You will see, okay?"

"Okay. I call him, and then I call you back".

She hung up, calling immediately Antonio while trying to calm down. But she couldn't. She couldn't believe such a thing.

"This is Antonio Dawson".

"Antonio, this is Christie. Matt's sister".

"Ah, Christie".

Antonio then remembered what day it was. Matt's death.

"How is Gabby holding on? I presume you're with her?"

"Well, actually no. Uh, I have Liz with me, but I wanted to go to hospital and join her".

"I see. You want me to come to your house to watch over them?"

"Yeah, acutally yeah. Please".

"I'm here in a few minutes".

He hung up, and fifteen minutes later, he knocked.

"Thanks to come here".

"Not a problem. We're family after all".

Christie smiled slightly. She wanted to tell him the truth, but words stayed locked in her throat.

"Christie? How are you holding on?"

She shook her head to get out of her thoughts, plunging her gaze in Anotnio's one.

"Oh uh... I don't know. I think I'm... I... I don't know".

She closed her eyes, lowering her head. She had to tell the truth.

"I'm sad... And happy", she said with a smile and crying at the same time.

Antonio didn't understand. How she could be happy in such a situation.

"Happy?"

"Matt... My brother will live. He uh... There was a last minute donor".

Antonio's eyes lightened, relief coming into him.

"Oah, that's a great new! Oah!"

"It's Kelly".

Suddenly, this smile he had just fadded, astonishment taking its place.

"W-what?"

"Kelly is the donor".

Antonio opened his mouth, but he was unable to talk, just as Gabby and Christie. He understood then why Christie was so happy and sad: sad for Kelly, but happy for still having her brother with her.

"What happened?" he asked.

"I don't know. Herrmann told me nothing. Gabby called me, but he answered.

"And... How is Sylvie?"

"I don't now either. As I understood... They are all there, lost and... Just lost, nothing more".

Antonio nodded, looking down.

"I don't keep you much longer. Give my condoleances to Sylvie for me. And give a big hug and a kiss to my sister".

"I will. And thanks again. To watch over the girls. If you're hungry or thristy, the fridge is full".

He smiled hardly, looking Christie leaving her house and driving to the hospital.

* * *

In the waiting room, the nurse just came in and called Gabby.

"Your husband is settled in a room, you can come beside him".

They all looked each other while Gabby rose to join the nurse.

"Okay guys. It's time for us to go back on shift. It's a painful moment, but the citizens of Chicago need our help", Herrmann stated.

He kissed one last time the one he wass considerating as his daughter, hugged Brett to show her his support and everyone got out. Before she left the room, Gabby turned to Sylvie.

"Sylvie?"

"I'm gonna stay here. Don't worry about me, I'm fine. Go see Matt".

"No, no Sylvie I stay with you. You were there for me from the start. It's my trun".

She turned again toward the nurse.

"Matt is in which room?"

"Uh... Room 207 ICU. If needed, we are not far away".

Gabby nodded, sitting back to this chair she used for several hours now, hugging an umpteenth time her best friend.

"I still can't believe he did this...", she murmured.

"Me neither", Gabby admitted.

"We... We should have seen this coming. We knew he had same blood type and same rhesus. We should have known that he would ask at least for a compatibility test".

"Sylvie, Sylvie... Don't torture yourself. Kelly had made his choice from day one. With what he wanted to do, he knew what you were going to do. He knew that you would stop him".

"Gabby... I am... I was his girlfriend! He should have told me!"

Tears came down her face again while Gabby couldn't cheep up her best friend.

"Kelly is still there. He will always be there. In Matt. His heart is still here with us. And his soul will continue to watch over you. Wherever you are. Until the end".

Brett opened her eyes, meeting the gaze of the one she was considering as a sister. She hugged her, seeking this comfort she desired so much.

"He will always be there".

* * *

In Violet's room, the two cousins were in bed, but couldn't sleep. For the same reason. Liz couldn't stop thinking about her father she was missing so much, and Violet was seventeen and knew perfectly what would happen to her uncle. She never came to the hospital to see him, alone or with her mother, she didn't have the courage to deal with this, and she knew that her mother neither. She was thinking again and again about in which hell her aunt Gabby was. She couldn't face this image. But when she heard the crying of her cousin, she got out of her thoughts. She turned on the light and looked down at Liz. Big tears were rolling down her cheeks and she was trying to wipe them with her hands, in vain.

"Liz?"

"I... I will never see my father again, right?" she asked between sobs.

Violet felt really bad. It was unfair for her cousin. She was only five years old, and she already had to face a big trauma, something for adults, big persons. It was unfair. She tried to find a way to cheer her up, because even she was young, she wasn't idiot: she knew that today was the end. The end of everything she had lived. Her mother had told her that today, her father had a big chance to go in Heaven. 'To watch over us' Gabby had explained, trying to calm down her daughter. But all those informations had just increased her fears. The fear to grow without her father at her beside.

"Liz, I don't know whether you will understand what I'm going to tell you", Violet began. "But do you remember 'once upon a time... Life'?"

Liz nodded, wipping the tears still streaming down her cheeks.

"Do you remember that our body is made of cells? And that each cells contain our DNA?"

"Uh uh... DNA contains what we are physically".

"Your DNA is unique, you're are the only one with it. But it's composed with 50% of your father and 50% of your mother".

Liz didn't indeed understand.

"To create you, your father gave 50% of his DNA, and your mother did the same. They mixed and created your DNA. Your father will never die, because he's a part of you. 50% of what you are, what you were and what you will be is your father. He won't leave you. Never".

"But he won't be there for me. He won't be there to take me into his arms, to encourage me. I won't see his face anymore, his smile. He won't be there with me, with mama. He won't be there".

"But he will always be there", Vilet explained, putting her own hand on her cousin's heart. "Your father will always be there in your memories, on your pictures. He will always be there in your head, you will always remember him, remember his smile you love so much, these moments when he was taking you into his arms, his encouraging words. He won't be there anymore physically, but he will continue to live in you. He will always be watching over you".


	11. The light I missed

Helle hello! YES, another chapter! Again!

So I explain: this is my last update before 18th june (for this story). This date is very important to me, because it will be a year since I startled writing fanfictions and learning english. Yes, I began to write in english not even a year ago!

I know I'm still writing with some mistakes, I do everything I can to make the least possible.

I hope you will enjoy this chapter like the others before.

Please leave me a review so that I can guess what you think of this story, so that I can continue to do my best to surprise you and give you chills as you're reading ^^

Have a good reading :-D

* * *

 **Chapter 11: The light I missed**

Christie having arrived, Gabby could now go to Matt's room and be with the man she loved. The shock of seeing him in that bed in that condition was nonetheless intense, to the point of having to sit on the comfortable chair the nurses had settled for her, Connor's orders. She put her left hand on her trembling lips, watching the man's pale body in front of her. Her man. There was always this tube anchored in his throat and blocking his mouth, connected to a breathing machine and worked instead of his lungs, but many things were new. There was now an arterial line stucked in his right arm to check his blood pressure, his body temperature and his heart flow continuously. Two IVs where plunging under his skin on each forearms to provide him medications, painkillers and essential fluids. There was now a Swan-Ganz catheter planted in his jugular to measure all his necessary heart vitals and check if all was doing well. In the middle of his chest was placed a huge sterile bandage from the base of his neck to his stomach, where the gastric probe was still there so that the nurses were able to keep his stomach muscles in shape. Just below this sterile bandage, there were three chest tubes coming out of his ribcage, siphoning the fluids present at the surgical site. Three patches on his chest were allowing the doctors to monitor his vitals via the cardiac monitor. She gazed at the screen: she knew all those parameters, she knew how to read an EKG. Matt's heartrate was at 113 and his blood pressure was at 10 over 7, his saturation almost at 100% thanks to the ventilator. But for Gabby, it seemed not normal, so she called for a nurse, who came soon.

"Why his vitals seem so... Abnormal?"

"Oh, well... He just came out of a major heart surgery, his heart has to recover from this, mainly because it's not his original heart. For someone who just had such a surgery, his vitals are very good, if it can reassure you".

Gabby turned her head toward the bed, taking gently and softly her beloved's hand to stroke it.

"Your husband is a fighter", the nurse affirmed.

The nurse then took the opportunity to check all the parameters of every machine, of every bags providing him the necessary cares.

"How much time before his awakening?"

"As he was in a medical induced coma before the surgery, it would take about a day before being fully awake. But in a few hours he should show some signs of consciousness".

"Such as?"

"Moving eyelids, sometimes opening eyes, frownings, his hand squeezing yours. It may be possible that he'll start fighting the breathing tube, but he needs it until he can breathe on his own".

Gabby shook her head slightly, worried. She wasn't showing it, but all this was overwhelming her. She tightened her grip on Matt's hand, noticed by the nurse.

"Most of the relatives find themselves overtaken by events, but we are there to appease and reassure them. We can answer any questions, we can appease any of your fears. We are here to treat patients, but also reassure the relatives. It is our job", she announced with a soft smile.

Gabby sighed, closing her eyes while she let out a few tears.

"It's just that uh... I don't know how I'm going to tell this to Matt...", she admitted.

Nursing and medical staff having been aware of the situation by Connor, the nurse sat on a chair near Gabby and took her hands.

"It's rare for us to face such a... Situation. But when it happens, we ask the relatives to give time to the patient to recover and gain some strength, to be fully awake and wait until he's out of the wood. To avoid any major complications".

"Matt will know something's wrong. He... He knows when I'm not doing well".

"Then put this on the concern you've had for him. I think it should be understandable when he will know what happened to him".

The nurse was right: all the stress felt these past two months had been so intense.

"And when he will know for the baby".

Gabby finally smiled, her free hand caressing this little gradually forming bulge.

"Thanks, for reassuring me".

"No need. I'm just doing my job. Call me for anything or when he will start waking up".

Dawson nodded and the nurse left the room, leaving her alone with her still asleep husband. Her hand still in his one, she decided to take a nap, to gain some strength, for her, for Matt, for this future baby.

* * *

Very slowly, the world in which Matt was plunged was fading, giving way to a totally different another. He could feel the infinite suffering tugging his chest, but he was too woozy to focus on it. He was feeling something in his throat as well, a tube keeping him from breathing as he wanted to, but he was too weak to fight. His chest was rising and falling at a steady pace, sending some electric shocks throughout his body. It wasn't painful, it was more an uncomfortable inconvenience he couldn't control. Without paying attention to it, he half-opened his eyes, this total darkness where he was immersed disappearing and giving way to an intense and colorful brightness. Everything was so blurry, things, forms, everything. He quickly scanned the room with his eyes, closing them soon after, too tired to keep them awake. He hadn't payed attention to all the sounds around him yet, all those beeps indicating he was well alive, this little voice calling him and encouraging him to hang on and continue his efforts. This soft and warm voice asking him to open his eyes again. Despite this state of drowsiness, he had recognized the voice of his wife, whom he loved more than anything. So, despite his lack of strength, he decided to make her happy: he fought back that slumber holding out its arms, concentrating on this encouraging voice and nothing else. Slowly and laboriously, he opened his eyes again, trying to ignore this intense burning. On the far right of the visual field, there was a moving form. Although he could not recognize who it was because of this fuzziness still invading him, he knew it was Gabby. Deep down, he knew. He felt his hand tighten, the heat of this foreign body ascending his arm and giving him chills. She talked to him again but he understood nothing at all. Several seconds later, a new form entered the room, talking with Gabby. Soon, a new weight settled on his chest and his stomach, tickling the middle of his neck and going down on his frozen arms. She tirelessly kept talking to him, muttering encouragement, tender words he could hardly hear. The new form got out of the room where he was as he began to dangerously close his eyes again. Tiredness had taken over and had brought him with it, lulled by the soft words of the woman he loved and this heat that was settling inside of him.

* * *

Couple hours after falling asleep, Gabby woke up in a jump, feeling a pinch in her hand. She straightened painfully, looking at the bed. Casey's fingers were moving slightly: he was waking up. Soon after, he half-opened his eyes, looking to the left then to the right, and finally closed them again.

"Matt? Matt, open your eyes again", she asked him in a soft tone. "Come on Matt, I know you can do it".

About a minute later, he opened them again, resting his eyes on the white ceiling. Gabby then felt tears coming up to her eyes, pain and fears she could feel until now were fading, giving way to this huge and intense happiness to have her belove back. She said nothing, leaving all these conceivable positives emotions of this world invade her, leaving these salt water drops roll down her tanned skin slowly and freely and fall on her pants. So, to show him that she was there, Gabby squeezed the love of her life's hand. Soon, she noticed that his right arm was full of thrill and his hand was cold, contrasting with the warmth she was feeling.

"Everything is okay Matt, I will ask for a nurse".

She bent down to grab the nurse button and call for one. And she came a few seconds later.

"Hello again!"

"He's waking up, but he's shivering", she said worried.

"Oh, there are some blankets in the closet".

The nurse, called Alison, passed behind Gabby to take one and place it on Matt's naked torso to keep him warm.

"Everything is okay Matt, Everything is okay..."

She was still whispering some reassuring and soft words, in order to not see him panic. The nurse took the opportunity to check his vitals again, Gabby looking at her to see what she was doing.

"Everything is okay indeed", she confirmed in a reassuring voice. "He doesn't fight the breathing tube, his vitals are good and stable. He's developping a slight fever, but it's very common to have one after a heart surgery. Call me again when he will be fully awake".

"I will".

Gabby looked the nurse leave the roon and close the door behind her. She focused then again on her man, seeing him close his eyes quickly. She understood that he couldn't struggle anymore against this fatigue overwhelming him. And all these provided druggs weren't helping.

"Go back to sleep Matt. I watch over you, I will still be there when you'll wake up again. Go back to sleep..."

And she smiled, watching him sleeping peacefully while his chest raised and fell at a steady reassuring rhythm with a hiss, the hiss of the breathing machine. Her Matt, her belove was coming back.

* * *

About six in the morning, Violet got up slowly and noiseless to not wake up her cousin Eliza. She got out of her bedroom and went downstairs. She suspected that her mother had had a bad night, so bad that it had to be a sleepless night. But what a surprise for her to see a slightly snoring Antonio asleep on the couch, television on. Still noiseless, or the least possible, she decided to prepare breakfast. She knew that no one would be in the mood to eat something, but they had to. So she broke some eggs in a bowl, got the bacon and orange juice out of the fridge and got out some slices of bred to toast. She also prepared some coffee for Antonio and what to do a hot chocolate for Liz. When everything was finally ready, she heard a noise from the living room. She looked up and saw one of those she considered as her uncle stretching and getting up from the couch.

"Hey Tonio", she said in a sad tone.

"Hey Violet".

As a cop, he recognized certain gestures, certain behavior. He could see on Violet's face sadness, anger. Tiredness.

"You didn't sleep well", he went to the evidence.

"I was up all night trying to make Liz sleep, even a few hours. She woke up crying and screaming several times, in panic".

"Yeah, I heard. But I also heard you trying to calm her down so I left you alone and take care of this", he admitted in a smile.

Violet then turned again to finish breakfast.

"Mom isn't here?"

"She went to the hospital. She called me to keep an eye on you".

"I could have managed on my own. I'm seventeen now! It's not like I'm five".

But she just finished speaking and she was already closing her eyes, sighing. She couldn't believed in what she had just said.

"Sorry".

"Don't be. I know it's hard".

Feeling the emotions invade her and tears coming up to her eyes, she couldn't hold them.

"It won't be hard for me! It will for Liz! It's Liz who just lost her father, not me! I still have mine, even if he doesn't want to see me!"

Tears were flowing freely on her cheeks. Seeing her own anger, she stepped back until hit the closet of the kitchen and collapse on the ground, soon joined by Antonio to cheer her up.

"Uncle Tonio?"

Surprised, he turned, just to see his niece completely still in the stairs. She also had tears on her eyes, clenching her teddy rabbit on her chest.

"Hey..."

Antonio got up, walking toward her and taking her into his arms. Liz buried then her head in his neck, crying endlessly. Violet decided to pull herself together: she had to stay strong. For her cousin. So she wiped her tears with the top of her hands, walking toward the couch where Antonio sat down with Eliza in his arms.

"I need to talk to you girls", he said seriously. "It's important".

"It's done? Uncle Matt... Went in Heaven?"

Antonio hold a smile, trying to not appear awkward compared to the situation. The girls were going to be happy, but sad as well, especially Liz.

"Not really".

Still her head buried in his uncle's neck, Liz tightened her grip a bit more, seeking solace.

"Uncle Matt... Had a last minute donor. He's received his new heart last night and... And everything seems to be going well".

Liz stopped crying, she looked up, her wet eyes meeting Antonio's eyes.

"What?" Violet asked, surprised and puzzled.

"Your uncle received a heart. He's alive and he will live".

"It's... It's not a joke? Uncle Tonio?" Liz asked between sobs.

"No, I'm not lying. That's why aunt Christie went to the hospital".

"Then... Then it's a good new? It's a good new!"

Violet started crying of joy, laughing, soon followed by Liz. But Antonio still had the same face. Liz didn't noticed this, but Violet did. She stopped suddenly, looking at her uncle with a puzzled look.

"Tonio?"

Antonio resigned: he had no choice but to explain them. Especially with simple words so that Liz could understand as well, because he knew that Violet would understand immediately. Then he took a deep breath, and started talking.

"Liz, for someone to be able to give his heart, he has to... To go in Heaven. You understand?"

Slowly, she nodded, a little lost. She walked to her uncle to let him take her into his arms again and comfort her.

"Usually, we don't choose to go in Heaven, but... But it can happen. Someone chose to go in Heaven on his own to give his heart to your dad", he said to her niece.

He looked down, as shame for having to tell this, for having to announce the death of their uncle. He took a deep breath, feeling the tears coming up in his eyes, because he knew, he knew what reaction were going to have Liz and Violet.

"And this someone, it's uncle Kelly".

Violet's eyes widdened, her mouth opened while tears began to stream down her cheeks. Looking at Liz to know whether she understood what Antonio had just said or not, she could see her cousin crying.

"He... He did this for daddy?" she asked between sobs.

Antonio hold his emotions, his tears, nodding slightly.

"When... When the accident happened, daddy took a bullet in the heart, you remember?"

Liz nodded again, waiting for some explanations.

"That day, daddy decided to take that bullet for uncle Kelly".

"Uncle Kelly should have taken the bullet?" Liz stated despite her shape.

"Yes. But uncle Kelly couldn't face the fact that his best friend, your dad would go up to Heaven. So he decided to go there for him".

Violet said nothing, understanding that in reality, Kelly decided to sacrifice his life for Matt. It was not a coincidence for her if this happened at the last moment, she knew perfectly well that Kelly had everything planned. She knew he had waited the last moment to do this, hoping that her uncle would maybe receive a heart, in vain. But she said nothing, staring Anotnio hugging Liz to comfort her.

"Uncle Kelly and daddy loved each other more than anything, a fraternal love much stronger than anything. They were desperate to save the other. Your dad saved uncle Kelly from this bullet, and uncle Kelly saved daddy from this journey to Heaven. So that you can still have your dad at your side, so that he can still hug you, take you into his arms, and..."

He stopped for a moment, avoiding a huge mistake: Gabby told him she wouldn't tell Liz about the pregnancy before being sure about what would happen. So his niece was unaware.

"And continue to watch you growing up".


	12. The letters

Hello hello there! This is it: the update you've waited. I waited that date because it was important to me: a year ago, I've published my first chapter for a fanfiction on this website. A year ago, I started learning english.

From that day, I think I've improved my english to the point of writing without (almost) any fault. And to prove it, I've decided to write the best and beautiful chapter I could ever do. Without any fault (I guess).

I've asked hayley389 to help me for something very important in this chapter, because I knew she had the potential to do something great with the little I'd given her. What she wrote for me is in italics (for a good reason), and I hope you will congratulate her for this job (in a review or in a private message). **THANK YOU SO MUCH for having done this for me!** Words can't express what it means to me.

I have the hardest time writing this chapter: I cried a lot, more than once (for the french chapter and for the english one). Not because it's a sad one, but because it was sooooooooooo beautiful.

I also have to thank jewel2687 (writer of "Worth fighting for") for helping me on this chapter. **THANK YOU!** You encouraged me, telling me that I'd written with very few faults (which was the case, but her correction was limited comparing to my first fanfiction haha).

I had to tell you that I made them (Hayley and Jewel) cry as well (at least feel something), so prepare your kleenex (place the box next to you).

Please, leave me a review at the end of your reading, I will mean a lot for me, Haylay and Jewel.

I hope you will like this so waited chapter ^^

* * *

 **Chapter 12: The letters**

Barely a day had passed since all this nightmare had begun, since Kelly had sacrified his life to save Matt at the last minute. And Brett was struggling to hold on. She wasn't in the mood for making all the preparations, even though Kelly had already organized the majority of his own funeral. She was trying, she tried to stay strong. Because she had to for Gabby, because Kelly made his choice, meaning save Matt, his beloved brother rather than continue his relationship with her. But she couldn't face the fact that she was living alone without the one she loved more than anything at her side, that she couldn't plan their future, she couldn't anymore. It was beyond her own strength. So to drown her sorrows, she sat on the couch, the one they had chosen together but Kelly found cheesy. She wrapped herself in a yellow blanket that Kelly found slightly repulsive but she loved so much. She had this vodka bottle in hand, the one Kelly hated the smell of but she could drink forever. She cried continuously while Kelly hated seeing tears on her face. She couldn't help but doing things Kelly didn't like as a revenge for him not being by her side anymore. She explained to everyone that she was fine, that Kelly made the right decision, the obvious one, but in reality, she was silently crying for him. She was mourning him at home, the heaven of peace she had built with him, this place where she felt safe, she felt loved. She was mourning him where nobody could see her in this state of intense grief. But her world was collapsing like a house of cards. She was all over the place. Her life had changed, and it was still changing. Untiringly drinking that bottle of vodka in large gulps, the door in front of her caught her attention: the mailman had just passed. But she didn't have the courage to face these envelopes with Kelly's name on them, she didn't have the strength to open the door, take those letters, and face this situation. She couldn't. She couldn't anymore.

* * *

At the hospital, Gabby was still looking after Matt like the first day, which was yesterday, but she never got tired. It didn't bother her to watch the man she loved gradually come back to life. Sometimes he clutched her hand and squeezed it, sometimes his eyelids opened and he seemed to look her straight in the eyes with this gigantic blue light, proving that he was definitely there, showing her that he was back from the dead for her, for Liz, for this little bud still growing inside of her that he didn't even know existed. She was the happiest woman in the world or she should have been. It was half-true. She was tormented by Kelly's planned death, one of her best friends, the charming prince of her best friend, the one she considered her own sister. How she could say she was fine when she should be mourning him? How she could justify Kelly's death when she should be angry with him, when she should hate him? How she could appear so serene in front of the others when she should be falling apart? Was it just a facade, so that no one could ask her how she was, so that she couldn't dive in the state of deep sadness again. But Gabby and Sylvie had a deal: never lie to each other. If Gabby faced her, Sylvie would never dare to lie. So she made a decision. She took her cellphone in hand, sending a message to Christie to ask her if she could come to the hospital and look after Matt, saying she had to look for something urgently. Christie reluctantly agreed, and about twenty minutes later, she was wandering in the ICU hallways, looking for the right room. She knocked lightly, opening the door gently to make the least possible noise. Closing the door, she stopped her gaze on the bed in front of her, holding back the tears coming up to her eyes. It was the first time she was seeing him in two months, the first time she was coming in the room to see her brother. And it was a huge shock for her. Gabby then let go of Matt's hand, rising to comfort Christie, explaining what was the purpose of all these machines, all these tubes and wires, whispering to not wake Matt.

"For how long you will be out?" Christie asked in a whisper.

"I don't know. Not long I hope. Matt is waking up, so I have to make this quick."

"He's already waking up?"

Christie was torn between anxiety and happiness.

"Yes. He already woke up once, but he was still too groggy. I think he will be more lucid next time."

"Okay. If so, what should I do?"

"Try to reassure him, talk to him softly, not too loud either. If you think he begins to panic, call a nurse, she'll know what to do."

"I get it. I... Can I take his hand?"

Gabby smiled, thinking back to that moment when Matt had chills because she had tightened his cold hand with her warm one.

"Of course, it will make him feel better I think. He tightens his grip sometimes, or he opens his eyes for a few seconds, but nothing more. If it takes more time, you can talk to him calmly. It appears to soothe him."

Christie nodded, taking the still warm place of Gabby on the comfortable chair, gently grabbing her brother's hand to caress it.

"I'll be back as soon as I can," Gabby assure again before leaving the room.

Leaving the hospital, she began to drive back home to take a shower and eat something before going to Brett's. Once out of her car, she saw a pile of letters on the floor next to the front door. She entered with the pile in hand, looking the letters one by one until she spotted a specific one. This handwriting, she knew it. After a closer examination, she was sure it was a letter from Kelly. She opened her mouth, feeling the tears coming up to her eyes, letting the emotions invade her. She sat on the couch, biting her lower lip, the letter still in her trembling right hand. Should she open it now or later? She put this letter down on the coffee table, crossing her arms again and again, trying to figure out what to do. Honestly, she didn't have the strength to open it yet. All this was too fresh for her. She would open it later. She got up, ready to take a shower. As she removed her clothes and entered the bathroom, she couldn't help but think about anything other than the letter. What did it say? Letting the water trickle over her skin, dipping her head down, looking at her belly, she rubbed her hand over it, she found herself thinking about Matt, about Brett, and especially about Kelly. That smile he had in any circumstance, this infectious laugh he had, all these moments she had spent with him and Matt. The moment when Kelly met Sylvie for the first time at the firehouse. The moment when she met Kelly for the first time, seeing this light in his eyes telling her she could have a fierce confidence in him. Thinking back to all this, she closed her eyes, allowing herself a moment of weakness. She started crying, placing her hand on the opposite wall to remain standing. If it was this hard for her, how was Brett coping? Were all of her memories resurfacing too? What would Matt's state of mind be when he learned about Kelly, about what the man who in his heart was his brother had done? She suddenly felt a chill on her right shoulder, a chill that went down along her back, this strange sensation as if a cold hand had landed on it. She put her left hand on the icy shoulder as to ensure that it was a sensation like another. And then, she thought back to this strange letter, the one with Kelly's handwriting. She was puzzled, lost, scared. Its content was calling to her. She wanted to know what it said because if Kelly's handwriting was on it, it was from him. It was his letter. So she turned off the water, delicately drying her body, passing a towel through her hair to dry it as well. She got dressed, letting her hair free to fly in the wind, letting it fall on her shoulders like Matt loved. She returned to the living room, sitting once again on the couch and taking the letter in her still trembling hands. Five minutes later, she took a deep breath and turned the envelope. She opened it carefully, afraid of breaking the fragile paper. She took out two pieces of paper, one with her name on, the other with Matt's name. She put down the one for Matt, opening hers. Reading the first words, tears came to her eyes again.

 _Dear Gabby,_

 _Writing this letter to you is one of hardest things I had to do in my life._

She swallowed nervously, passing her hand over her mouth, over her cold lips. It was indeed a letter from Kelly.

 _I can say you became one of the closest friends I have ever had. The whole house did. I remember the first time you walked into the firehouse. You walked in with such a fierce confidence shining brightly in your eyes. A confidence that never left your eyes throughout the entire time I've known you. That confidence was passed down and now shines in Eliza's eyes too, which I can also say I am pleased to have been chosen as her godfather._

Gabby smiled despite the tears rolling over her cheeks, falling on her pants or on the carpet, holding back a sob.

 _The biggest regret I had in life, was not becoming your friend sooner. I know the main thing that really united us was Shay's death. A death that wiped grief on all of firehouse 51. I'm not trying to wash another wave of grievance on you. We at firehouse 51 have been through enough deaths. Andy, Shay, and even Casey lost Hallie, which hit all of us in our own way. I think it's about time that everyone gets to smile instead of crying for a change. That's where I come in._

Still holding back this sob, she took a new deep breath before starting a new paragraph.

 _Two months ago, one of the most precious things in your life was almost taken. The most precious thing to all of us. Hope was spread through all of you with the two month plan. I wanted to believe with everything I had that Matt would return to us because of a donor. Even when the two months passed I still had believed. I believed because I would be the donor. I knew since I found out that me and Matt had the same blood type, the same rhesus. I took a blood test and 2 weeks later I was told my heart was 87% compatible with Casey. I struggled with a hard choice for a while, but in the end I knew what I had to do. I had caused a mess and now I had to clean it up. Back at the fire academy Andy, Matt, and I took an oath: that we would always be there to protect one another no matter the cost. Now is my chance to fulfill this oath. It's my chance to return a missing piece to your life Gabby._

Her eyes grew wide, she didn't understand. She had never heard of this promise between Matt, Andy and Kelly. She was sure that Shay hadn't either. It was a secret they had kept for themselves. She bit her lower lip, ready to read the rest of this letter written by her best friend.

 _I want to tell you the truth though, about my accident. It wasn't an accident. I knew the exact speed and angle to hit my car. Enough not to damage my heart or hurt anyone, but enough to leave me brain dead. I ask that you don't feel as if you or Matt are responsible, because you're not. This was 100% my choice._

Some new fresh tears came to her eyes, slowly streaming down her cheeks and remaining trapped in the hollow of her lips, as if they didn't want to fall on this delicate paper.

 _I know I'll be gone by the time you read this but I want you to know I am so happy to have you in my life. I wrote a letter to Casey as well. Do me a favor? Don't give it to him until he is fully ready. Not mentally, but physically too. I'd like to think while writing this letter to you that, soon, I'll be with Shay again. I'll be able to make jokes with her again and let her harass me the way she always loved to._

Gabby couldn't help but burst into laugh, imagining Leslie tormenting him as she had the habit of doing, thinking back to all those times when she had played tricks on him without him suspecting a thing.

 _Whenever you feel someone watching you, you feel something touching you and there's no one there, know it's Andy, Shay, and me watching over our firehouse family or cheering you up._

Instinctively, she passed back her left hand on her right shoulder, as if she was still feeling this cold she had felt in the shower, wondering whether she had imagined it to feel better or if it was reality. She didn't believe in all those ghosts stories or in reincarnation, but this sensation she had, it was something real. She was sure about this; it couldn't be otherwise.

 _Before I end this letter, I want you to tell Casey this exact thing when he wakes up and finds out who the donor is. I am no longer a brother to you in physical form, but I am in you keeping you alive. We are more united than we ever were. Even you and me Gabby. Remember always,_

 _Kelly_

Smiling and crying, Gabby placed the letter on her torso, on her belly. She remained like that for several minutes until she could no longer cry. She looked at the letter to Matt without opening it. She didn't have the right, it was for Matt. Wiping the tears on her face with the back of her hand, she put back the piece of paper in the envelope before taking hers and put everything into the drawer of her nightstand, where Matt would never look. She had to see Sylvie, she had to see her best friend. So she got up, closing the entry door, turning on the engine of her car and leaving for her home. There was also a pile of letters next to the door. She took it, looking at each letter before stopping on a similar letter to the one she'd received from Kelly but addressed to Brett this time. She knocked on the door, hoping that Sylvie would answer.

"Brett? It's Gabby, open up please."

She knew she was at home; her car was still parked in the street. She knocked again before remembering that she had a key to this apartment, as Sylvie had a key to her's. She opened the door, her eyes instantly laying on the couch. Brett was wrapped in her favorite yellow blanket, crying endlessly with a bottle of vodka in hand. It broke her heart to see her best friend like this. She seemed so strong to everyone, saying repeatedly that she was fine, while deep down she was crying uncontrollably. Gabby closed the door, rushed to this friend who had sort of physically replaced Shay, sitting beside her on the couch and taking her into her arms. She could feel her shaking, tears wetting quickly the sleeves of her coat. Gabby let her freely her pour all her emotions out, remaining strong as ever because she was not the one who lost the love of her life. Brett had, and she had the right to cry, to be angry, to have a grudge against the entire world. They had taken away the most important person in her life, they had taken away a part of her soul. Brett was crying on her to the point of having a headache, of having red eyes, letting herself be wrapped by her soft and warm arms, letting herself be lulled by her voice trying to reassure her, to calm her down, to alleviate her tears, her sobs.

"You can cry. I am here. I will always be here," Gabby assured, holding back her own tears.

She wasn't allowed to cry, not in front of her best friend. Rubbing her back by making some small circles between her shoulder blades, Sylvie calmed down, slowly but surely. Until a small and simple sob escaped from her mouth. She straightened, wiping the rest of this sticky moisture on her face.

"Thank you," she murmured to Gabby. "For being there for me."

"Always. We promised to each other six years ago now. You remember?"

A first smile came brighten and illuminate her face as she nodded. She remembered perfectly, as if it was yesterday.

"We promised to be there for each other and never lie to each other."

Brett knew what Gabby meant: she hadn't told her the truth about her feelings, about her emotions when she knew that Kelly, her man had killed himself to save his best friend.

"I didn't lie. I've hidden the truth," she corrected. "You... You had to be the happiest woman."

"And you had to be the saddest one," Gabby added quickly. "Suppressing your feelings and your tears."

Ashamed, Brett lowered her head, soon raised by Gabby's hand under her chin.

"Kelly would never want to see you cry. He didn't like to see tears on your face. He would want you to remember every moment spent with a smile, he would want you to be proud of having spent them with him."

Sylvie let out a slight laugh, a single tear rolling over her left cheek. Gabby passed her fingers on it, wiping this salted drop she hated to see on her face as well.

"He would want to see you smile."

Five minutes later, after ensuring that Sylvie was calm or seemed to be, she handed her an envelope: the one from Kelly. Sylvie's eyes widened, she raised her head to meet Gabby's gaze, puzzled and surprised.

"It was in your mail outside the entrance," Gabby told her.

"He... It's from him? Really from him?"

"Yeah. I received one as well. He really wrote this letter Sylvie. To you."

"I... I-I can't read it. I-I don't have the strength nor the courage," she finally admitted.

"You.. You want me to read it for you?"

First reluctant, Sylvie shook her head up to down slightly, closing her eyes. Gabby opened then the envelope, taking this piece of paper in her hands, feeling that something else was at the bottom. She looked inside, said nothing, not letting any emotion appear on her face. She put the envelope back on the table, opening the letter and began to read it out loud.

 _My dearest Sylvie,_

 _I don't know where to begin. You're the love of my life. You were since the day you walked into firehouse 51. I couldn't have imagined a life without you and I know you don't want to imagine one without me. Yet, you have to. I don't want you to be mad or upset, but I know you are. I definitely don't want you crying over me being gone, but again I know you are. The thing is though, I'm not gone. In fact, I'm very much alive and possibly more than I was. So yes, I won't be able to make jokes with you or be able to cheer you up after a rough shift, I'll be in Matt. I'll be alive more than I ever was. Remember this. I'm going to help him stay alive. No, I'm going to keep him alive. For Gabby, Eliza, his new baby, and everyone at 51. I will be Matt's heart. I'll be closer to him than I ever was. I'll be more than a brother. Matt gave up his heart for me, and now it's time for me to give up my heart for him. You were there that day, standing and watching the scene unfold, watching both Matt and me take a bullet. You did the best you could to help Matt and I can't say thank you enough. Words honestly can't express what you mean to me._

 _Please do me a favor. I don't expect you to understand what I'm about to ask you right away because feelings don't always work the way you want them to. Brett, don't hold my death over Casey. It's not his fault, and besides I know you'd never do it anyway. You're just that sweet of a person. I know the next thing will be especially hard for you. Please forgive me._

 _The thing is, I knew something wasn't quite right when my blood and matt's touched. Call it fate or a freaky coincidence but we had the same blood type, the same rhesus. It broke me when I found out they couldn't fix Matt's heart, until they talked about the two month plan. Hope was reignited in all of us. Then, two months passed and not a single donor. From day one into searching for a donor, I asked Dr. Rhodes to let me take a test. A test that would tell me how much of a percentage match my heart was to Matt. It was 87%. It didn't matter if there wasn't a donor though. I had planned for the two months with Connor about me being the donor for Casey. If you're reading this, it worked._

 _I know you're screaming with anger on the inside, but please don't. I know this is a big thing to forgive someone for and I get if you never forgive me. Remember me when you feel hurt, angry, or alone. I love you Brett, and I always will. Inside this envelope, there is something I've always wanted to offer you. I wanted to wait for the right time, but I will never find it now. Accept it, so that I will still be with you, so that you can remember me. Sincerely,_

 _Your Beloved Kelly_

Crying again and puzzled, Sylvie grabbed the envelope hanging on the table in front of her and looked inside. She opened her mouth, crying harder. She took the object in her hand, starting at it endlessly. It was a white gold ring set with six topaz of California, the gemstone she loved most. Inside the ring, her name and Kelly's one were engraved with the date of their first meeting: June 18, 2014. The six topaz represented the six year that had passed between that meeting and today. So he wanted to propose to her but hadn't had the time. She put it on her finger, contemplating this wonder while crying as ever.

"You will never forget him. Because he will still be there with you. Because he's still there, watching over us. Forever and always."


	13. Some complications

Hello there! Hoped you liked the last chater! I think I've lost a lot of readers since I killed Kelly (which is understandable), OR you don't leave reviews anymore (which is quite understandable as well), but it's okay. I will continue to write until the end because I almost finished writing this story ^^

Here is a "better" and "cutter" chapter, because I made the last chapter quite emotional.

I really, really hope you will like :D

* * *

 **Chapter 13: Some complications**

After having cheered her best friend up, Gabby proposed to eat something and come with her for an OB/GYN appointment. Luckily, Sylvie hadn't drunk a lot and she wasn't drunk. About an hour later and a lunch together, they were waiting in the waiting room for this little unborn buddy. The doctor called her, and both of them got up and entered in the office.

"Hello Gabby. I've heard the news, I'm so happy that your husband is still gonna enjoy Liz and your future baby. I presume you want to have it now, am I right?"

"Yes! I'll have it!" she hurried to confirm with a big smile. "I'll have it for Matt, for my daughter and especially for Kelly. He did this for this new child, I think."

Gabby then turned her head toward Sylvie by saying this. She was biting her lower lip and was holding a sob, but she nodded. She thought the same: Kelly had surely done this to not destroy Matt's family.

"Oh", the doctor said, surprised. "Your friend was very wise. It was a noble gesture from him."

Gabby smiled, hoping that the doctor wouldn't go further. Not for her, but for Sylvie.

"Alright. We can start all the needed medical examinations then. I will take some blood samples and take some DNA from the fetus. As your husband has a negative rhesus and type c antigens and you are the opposite, there is a risk for your future child to have a positive rhesus with type c antigens".

Lost, Gabby frowned.

"Meaning?"

"It can lead to complications. Have you already heard about the rhesus incompatibility between a mom and her growing child?"

"Uh... Yeah, sort of. My sister-in-law had this problem with her second child."

"It's the same pathology, but for type c antigens. About 25% of future mothers with a positive rhesus experience this situation."

"Because I may have a negative recessive allele and I don't have antigens while Matt does."

The OB/GYM smiled.

"Indeed. I completely forgot that you have an extensive medical knowledge."

"No problem. But what are the risks? Precisely?"

"No risk until labor. It's mainly your child who may have some problems."

Gabby swallowed nervously, her eyes wide open. Sylvie took her hand and squeezed it, supporting Gabby in all circumstances.

"I can't prevent nor guarantee a total safety for your child, but he could develop a high anemia at birth, swellings and high jaundice. But those risks are minimal. If we know that the risk is here, then we'll monitor your pregnancy closely and you'll have to be very careful."

"Very careful? Meaning?"

"Meaning that the least shock at your belly could increase the risks. It won't affect you, but your baby will be exposed."

Gabby inhaled deeply, nodding slightly. She was worried. She already had to worry about her husband and now her child. It was too much to bear.

"As I said to you, those risks are minimal. We just need to know whether they're here or not, and if they are, then we advise accordingly."

"Okay", she murmured. "Okay."

"May you lay down please? I will check your vitals and your baby's ones before anything else."

Gabby got up and laid on the bed in the back of the office to be examined. She could feel the heat contrast between her skin and the stethoscope, letting the doctor do her job and guarantee an optimal auscultation. About five minutes later, the OB/GYN smiled at her again.

"Your blood pressure is a little high at 14 over 8 but not alarming, your heart rate is at 93", she said. "And buddy's one is at 134. He's in perfect health!" she continued, making Gabby and Sylvie smile. "Now, let's do this ultrasound."

Gabby unbuttoned her pants and lifted her shirt. She took the habit of these appointments when she was pregnant with Liz, but this time was different. Matt was missing on her side, there was a risk of complications with this new child, her best friend wasn't the same and wouldn't be anymore, and Kelly was dead. One day. Just one cursed day had changed her life. She was thankful toward Kelly: without his sacrifice, she wouldn't have had the courage to keep this child growing inside of her. Sylvie approached her, coming to take her hand and explain that she was there for her. The two friends shared a look. Some microseconds later, the gel placed on her belly by the OB/GYN made her shiver.

"Sorry", the doctor whispered.

She then took the ultrasound probe and placed it on the gel layer, turning on the screen and moving this probe to find her future child.

"If my calculations are correct, you are at sixteen weeks of amenorrhea, meaning about fourteen weeks of pregnancy."

"Correct", Gabby confirmed.

"No signs of fatigue? No feelings like butterflies in your stomach?"

"Nothing yet. But... I'm always hungry."

Gabby looked down with a slight smile on her face, making Dr. Larsson laugh.

"I think it's rather normal!"

She continued to search this child, then suddenly, the room was invaded by a very particular sound that brought tears to the two best friends' eyes: a very fast heart beat. This sweet melody lodged in every cell of Gabby's body, lulling her senses except her hearing. Tears of joy were streaming down her cheeks, dancing vigorously on her tanned skin, finally meeting her neck after a long and warm waltz.

"Do you eat salty?"

This question came out of nowhere, interrupting the concentration of Gabby. She shook her head from side to side, looking at the OB/GYN.

"I presume that the baby had the same problem as Liz?"

"Indeed. His thyroid seems underdeveloped, and for it to develop properly and produce thyroid hormones..."

"I have to eat salty. That's why my blood pressure is slightly high."

Three women said nothing for a moment, then Dr. Larsson spoke again.

"I know that you don't like eating salty, which is already rare, but the thyroid needs iodine to work properly. We already had this problem with Liz, and you have it again with buddy number two. It's important. It's the only moment in someone's life that we ask eating salty: a pregnancy, and enough to properly develop the baby's organs. It's not a lot, just the bare minimum."

"So... I have the right to do what I did with Liz?"

The OB/GYN closed her eyes and smiled.

"Absolutely! As long as it's not in excess and you don't earn more than two pounds per month, no problem at all."

"And... Is... Is my baby active? Because I don't feel it moving and..."

"You're concerned."

Gabby couldn't help but nod. Usually, she already should have felt some movements from her child, but not yet. For Eliza, she could feel her moving from the thirteenth week.

"Well, look by yourself."

Dr. Larsson turned the screen toward Gabby and Sylvie, and both of them looked it. Their mouth opened, watching endlessly this black and white video. They could see a beautiful growing baby, moving constantly, turning again and again.

"Your baby is very active! If you can't feel it yet, it's a matter of time. I think he's playing with his senses! It's at the beginning of the second trimester of pregnancy that senses develop gradually. He will taste and hear soon."

It was a beautiful show for Gabby. She couldn't be tired of this perfect view. In fact, she wasn't even listening to the doctor anymore, making her and Sylvie laugh. Gabby startled, turning her head toward her smiling best friend.

"Sorry, I was..."

"Distracted by this view? Understandable", the doctor affirmed. "I will take a DNA sample of your baby and yours. And a blood sample as well to check if all goes well. As we don't have too much NDA analysis right now, the results will come back in quickly, maybe in a week or so. I'll call you when I get the results, and then we can make an appointment for a further discussion."

Gabby shook her head, turning her gaze while Dr. Larsson was doing her awful things to get her unborn baby's DNA, her own DNA and do the blood test.

"Here, all done. I give you a copy of the ultrasound, and I free you and go find your husband to the ICU. You're going there, are you?"

"Yeah, right. He, uh... He's waking up and... And I want to be there."

The two friends left the office with the ultrasound in hand. Gabby was grateful to have Sylvie with her for this important moment. She knew that was going through, and it warmed her heart to know that she still could count on her. She then turned toward her to ask her something.

"Sylvie? Would you... Would you take care of Liz today? I'm pretty sure that Christie called my brother so that he could watch over her and Violet."

"Oh... Of course, no problem. I think that... That it helps me to think about something else."

Sylvie forced a smile to reassure Gabby. In fact, it made her feel mad to watch over Liz. She was happy to see her still able to enjoy her father, but she didn't know how she would react. Did she know about her father? Did she know what Kelly, her godfather had done? Too much feared questions with no answers. Suddenly, she felt a gentle hand on her right shoulder, which took her out of her thoughts and she looked straight. Gabby was smiling at her warmly.

"I'm also sure that it will make you feel better. And I'm sure that Liz is already aware of the situation. Knowing Christie and Antonio, it won't surprise me. Your goddaughter isn't six yet, but we can't count on her. And trust her. I'm sure she'll cheep you up. I trust my daughter", Gabby then assured.

Several seconds later, Sylvie smiled back.

"Thanks Gabby. Thanks for everything", she whispered with a tear in her eyes.

"You would do this for me. And you're family, you're Kelly's wife, my husband's best friend. And you're my best friend. And this, nobody will get this out. Always be there for each other."

It was their promise made years ago.

"Always be there for each other", Brett repeated.

Then, she embraced Gabby, putting her head on her shoulder and closing her eyes. After a long minute, Brett stopped hugging her friend.

"Do I have to tell Liz? This new child?" she said enthusiast.

"Thanks Bret, but... I think I have a great idea to tell her on my own."

Gabby explained her idea in full details.

"Oh, that is a great idea! But... Don't you think that she'll notice something before?"

"I will explain the situation to everyone. I'll ask them not to tell Liz before this moment. She will be the happiest girl in the world. She's my girl!"

Sylvie smiled again, nodding and understanding her decision.

"I'm already excited to see her face when she'll know."

"I can't imagine it either!"

They laughed, then separated, Sylvie going to Christie's house and Gabby going to the ICU, to Matt's room. But arrived, she stopped. Christie was in the hallway, near the door and crying.

"Chris?"

She rushed at her, facing her sister-in-law and trying to understand what was happening.

"Christie, what is it? What happened?"

Gabby was worried increasingly while seconds were passing. Holding a sob, Christie tried to explain as clearly as possible.

"I... Matt, he... He woke up and... And... He coughed and... Those machines... They didn't stop screaming and..."

Gabby's stomach tightened while a huge wave of nausea attacked her. She squeezed her lips shut, swallowing her saliva and hoping to hold this invading nausea. She was worried, really worried.

"How much time?"

"I... Uh... Fifteen minutes?"

It was too long for her. Instinctively, as usual when she was stressed, Gabby passed her hand over her growing bulge, looked carefully by Christie. She suddenly stopped crying, puzzled by this perpetual movement from Gabby. Then she understood: as a mother herself, she used to pass her hand over her belly to calm her nausea, to reassure herself or to cuddle Violet when she was still in her womb.

"Gabby? You... You are... Pregnant?"

Gabby then realized what she was doing: caressing her stomach. So she decided to officially tell her.

"I... I knew a month ago. I... I didn't tell no one because..."

She looked down, unable to continue her explanation.

"You didn't know whether you were going to have it or not."

She raised her head, meeting her sister-in-law's gaze. But this time, Christie was serious. She wasn't crying, tears stopped rolling down her cheeks.

"You wanted to know whether Matt would survive or not. Am I right?"

She understood everything: if her brother hadn't survived, Gabby would have asked for an abortion. And if he survived, she would have this baby. This decision, Christie was able to understand.

"You didn't mean to inflict suffering to raise another child whose my brother was the father if he hadn't survived. You couldn't live with this."

Gabby nodded, allowing herself to let out a tear.

"It would be out of my own strength. So I didn't tell anyone. Only Sylvie knew about my pregnancy."

"So no one but Sylvie and me know?"

"Doctors are aware as well. But I asked them to tell nobody. And... Kelly knew."

Giving to herself some minutes to gather all these information, she then nodded.

"I see. So... How are you going to tell Liz and Matt?"

"For Liz I already have an idea. For Matt... Well, I don't know. He's still too weak to take the news properly, it may harm his health. I'll wait for the right time, when he'll be out of the wood."

The two women were interrupted by the sound of an opening and creaking door. Matt's room's one. Dr. Rhodes was here and two nurses got out of the room to get back to work. Noticing Gabby and Christie, he approached them.

"What happened?" Gabby asked.

"Well... He had a slight panic attack. The fact that he was still hooked to a breathing machine when he was taking aware of his surroundings has stressed him, so he was choking."

"You sedated him again?"

"No, quite the contrary. We calmed him down with a low dose of midazolam to reduce the crisis and lower his heart rate. Then we checked if all his vitals were in the green light, which was the case. So we removed the breathing tube and leave him breathe without assistance."

"You... You mean that... Matt is breathing on his own? Without problem?"

"Indeed! As I told you yesterday, his breathing is still shallow and fast, so he needs a supplemental dose of oxygen with a non-rebreather mask. But the extubation tired him and he's resting."

"We can... We can enter again?"

"Of course! But one person at the time. His state doesn't allow too much stress yet."

Gabby nodded and turned toward Christie, who smiled.

"Go ahead. Go see your husband. I go take care of the girls."

Gabby smiled back and thanked her.

"Sylvie went to your house to help Antonio. She, uh... She's still shocked by all this story, especially since this morning."

"What happened?"

"Well... Sylvie and I have received a letter. From Kelly."

Christie remained still, unable to move nor speak.

"He... He explained his choices and his motivations. He... He wanted to save Matt. For this child. To not destroy our family."

"Kelly made a difficult choice, a noble one. He wanted you to have this child, he wanted Matt to live."

"And he wanted to propose Sylvie."

Christie opened her mouth, but no sound came out.

"He gave her the engagement ring he wanted to give her."

She then understood why Sylvie was in shock: the fact that she lost the man of her life while he was ready to propose her, and also the fact to receive a letter from her beloved was very painful.

"But I cheered her up. I promised to be there for her when she won't be okay. And I will do everything I can to keep her out of the dark. She would have done this for me if Matt had died, then I'll do this for her."

The two women smiled, said goodbye and separated, Christie going back home to join Antonio, Sylvie, her daughter and Liz while Gabby was entering the room to see Matt, the love of her life.


	14. Una mariposita

Hello there! Hope you liked the last chapter ^^

I know that because I killed Kelly you don't want to read, and I understand. But Kelly is not really dead (you will understand later).

So, I know I have some Spanish (and Portugese) readers, and I wanted to show them that I was glad to have them in my followers: As the Dawson' Family is Dominican, I found something for you :D

I hope that all of you will like!

* * *

 **Chapter 14: Una mariposita**

Entering in this small room slightly darkened because of the opaque blinds the nurses had dropped to half, Gabby noticed something important: there was no longer this awful hiss from the breathing machine, this horrible lament sinking into your ears, passing through your eardrum and playing with your inner ear, your brain, hitting your nerves. Although she no longer heard it, the other appalling sounds were still there: the EKG, all those machines around the bed providing the necessary care to the man she loved the most in this world, the oxygen traveling in some tubes to come caress his face and reach his lungs, all the very precisely timed drips allowing Matt to suffer the least possible. Impossible for her to separate this inert form from her eyes, this man lying in this comfortable bed, his arms a little elevated to prevent soreness and tension at his chest, at the sutures. Eyes closed, mouth slightly open to inhale the largest amount of pure oxygen possible, his still frozen hands were gently squeezing a heart-shaped pillow carefully placed on his stomach. Realizing then that she had to sit, she walked to the bed, resting in the cooled chair. Gabby didn't want to wake Matt, she wanted him to regain strength after the long journey he had made to come back to life, to come back to her. She didn't even notice that Connor had followed her.

"We give this pillow to all our patients who have had a heart transplant", he whispered to not wake Matt. "Usually, it allows to externalize the pain. If the patient squeezes the pillow very gently, then the pain is moderate and manageable. If he holds it strongly against his chest, then the pain is unbearable for him."

Resting her gaze back on her loved one's chest, watching it rise and fall continuously at a steady and fast rhythm, she noticed that Matt's hands were not squeezing this beautiful red pillow strongly.

"He's not in huge pain right now."

"That's because he's resting, he's asleep. It's useful when the patient is awake and are unable to talk."

Gabby nodded softly, her eyes still locked on this being she found beautiful in every circumstance. Her heart was beating faster and stronger when she was at his side, butterflies were coming back in her stomach when she was watching him, this feeling you have when love is hitting you and doesn't want to leave you alone. She was in love with him as if it was the first day, and it wouldn't change, for nothing in this world. She surprised herself gently rubbing her belly, this little bulge gradually growing every day. She felt better each time she did this, she felt appeased, happy, free from all this pain, from all this stress she had endured these past two months. She was someone else.

"You should rest as well Gabby. You need to", Connor explained by pointing her belly she was still cuddling, scared that Matt wasn't totally asleep and could hear him.

Once again, Gabby shook her head, leaning properly in the chair in which she fell asleep so many times already. Dr. Rhodes then passed behind her, opening the cupboard to grab a blanket and cover her so that she wouldn't get cold. Her knees glued to the padded armrest, her feet wedged at the back of the chair, Connor gave her a pillow so she could rest her head on it, on the opposite armrest.

Then, he placed the blanket on the top of her while she was already dangerously closing her eyes. The physician was used to meet this state of intense drowsiness after a major graft, the one met when the tension was fading after a long waiting, after a long defied countdown, like the one Matt had just beaten. Thanks to Kelly, the man who had sacrificed everything to save his beloved little brother's life, the man who did his job to the end: saving life, even if he had to die for that. Connor was still in shock as well, even though he knew from day one that Kelly had planned his own death. He had so much hoped to find a viable heart for Matt in time, but the two months had passed too quickly. To tell the truth, he thought that Kelly wouldn't have the strength nor the courage to go into action, to kill himself just to save his best friend. He had never imagined Kelly make this beautiful gesture of pure love. Of course, he understood why he had done this. But what he was fearing now was the way Matt would react to the news, how he would take the hit when he was going to know who this heart belonged to, the one that was his now. Would he be grateful to this big brother he had always wanted and cherished, or would he reject this act, cruel but of unbelievable and incomparable beauty? Just several seconds later, he felt a pair of eyes on him, a still drowsy gaze running over his skin, his face. He turned his eyes to the bed, noticing a motionless but aware Matt, lying down deep in the covers. He was squeezing his pillow a bit more, frowning slightly to indicate to Connor that he was in intense pain. The physician then passed on the other side of the bed, eye-tracked by Matt. He put his index over his mouth, as if to say to his patient not to make a noise, then pointed to his right, showing a totally asleep Gabby on the chair. Weakly, Matt shook his head up to down, looking Connor do his manipulations, the ones he didn't really understand. Dr. Rhodes then showed him a syringe and planted it in one of the ports of the numerous IV stuck in his left arm, emptying it completely. It was an extra dose of painkiller mixed with a muscle relaxant to ease the pain, so he could go back to sleep and regain strength. Soon, Matt closed his eyes again, going back in this noiseless and calm world in which he liked to be while Connor was leaving the room after making sure that Gabby was indeed asleep. He walked to the nurses' office to give them his instructions.

"When Matt will be awake, he can have some ice chips to soothe his throat and his vocal cords. And if you have to enter to keep an eye on his vitals, make the least possible noise. He's not the only one resting and sleeping. Gabby also needs rest and sleep after what she went through. The lack of sleep stresses the body in normal circumstances, even more when you're dealing with a pregnant woman. Got it?"

Looking all the nurses one by one, they nodded almost at the same time, frightened by the seriousness shown by Dr. Rhodes.

"Can you prepare a meal for Gabby? I'm pretty sure that she will be hungry when she'll wake up but won't admit it to not leave her husband and the room. Something rich and slightly salty."

"Salty?"

"Gabby doesn't eat salty usually, it can affect the developing of the baby. I'm sure that her doctor has advised her to add salt in her meals."

"We prepare this immediately doctor", the nurse in charge confirmed.

He smiled softly before going to the ER for an umpteenth heart surgery, resuming his daily routine as if nothing had happened, leaving his emotions aside for the survival of patients.

* * *

When Brett arrived at Christie's home and Violet opened the door, the latter asked her to make the least possible noise. Puzzled, she nonetheless let the one who called her aunt Sylvie embrace her.

"Tonio told us", Violet explained in a whisper, puzzling her even more.

"Why are you talking like this?"

"Liz fell asleep in Tonio's arms. She didn't stop crying and waking all night because we thought that... That uncle Matt was..."

"That uncle Matt was dead?"

Looking down, Violet nodded.

"Tonio told us this morning, and Liz didn't take the news well. She was happy for her father, but when... When Tonio told us that... That Kelly had given his heart, we..."

Brett perfectly understood what Violet meant, but didn't dare to admit in front of her.

"Kelly did the right choice. He did this to not destroy the family his little brother was able to build."

"But... What about you? How can you accept this while... It's as if he had abandoned you?"

"He hasn't abandoned me. He will always be there when I will need him", she affirmed, placing her hands on her chest, on her heart. "Where he is now, he's watching me, he's protecting me, he's still loving me, and I'll continue to love him. If he had done nothing, I would have lost him forever. And I wouldn't have accepted that."

Violet didn't really understand what Sylvie meant, but she saw perfectly that she had cried before coming here: her eyes were still red and swollen. However, she said nothing, knowing that her aunt wanted to show her strength, which she was. She smiled, stepping aside to let Sylvie enter in the house.

"Mom will arrive soon, I just got a text. You hungry?"

"Uh... Not really?"

"Mh... You're lying."

This made Sylvie smile against her will. Violet always found a way to make her happy. Gabby had a fantastic idea, take the day to be with people who made her feel better.

"Okay, I'm a tiny bit hungry, but the circumstances..."

"You're not in the mood to eat."

"Yeah."

Suddenly, a sweet melody came to their ears. A song coming from the living room. Surprised, they approached the couch, this lullaby increasingly becoming audible and understandable. It was Spanish.

 _Una mariposita, que del cielo bajò_

 _Con sus alas extendidas_

 _Y en el pico una flor._

Antonio was singing, rocking Eliza by swaying from side to side with a slight smile.

 _¿Para quién son las flores?_

 _Si no son para mí._

 _Ay mamita del alma_

 _Ya mo muero por ti._

It was a puerto rican lullaby Gabby and Antonio's parents sang to them when they couldn't sleep or had a big sorrow. Antonio then took the habit of singing it to his own children, and he knew that Gabby was also singing it to Liz, to relax her.

 _Cuando venga papito_

 _Se lo voy a decir_

 _Que esa mariposita_

 _No me deja dormir._

Then, Antonio resumed from the beginning this beautiful lullaby talking about a butterfly coming down from the sky and surrounding a flower with its trunk, annoying a little girl who wanted to sleep. He continued to sing again and again, until Liz was completely asleep. So Antonio got up slowly, then climbed the stairs and entered in Violet's room to rest her on the bed and cover her with blankets. He kissed her tenderly on her forehead then left the room, leaving Eliza catch some sleep and going down again. He was welcomed by the girls, arms crossed and a big smile on their face.

"What is it?"

"I didn't know you could sing Tonio!" Violet admitted ironically.

"Ah, I see: because I am a man, I can't sing, be gentle and I don't know how to make kids sleep?" he replied with as much humor, making Sylvie laugh.

After several seconds, they all became serious again while Antonio took Brett in his arms.

"My deepest condolences Sylvie..."

"Thanks Antonio."

This made her feel better to know that she would be surrounded in this event, that she wouldn't be the only one mourning Kelly. Though, Matt was still alive thanks to him, but he was going to miss everyone. Suddenly, they all heard the entry door open and close. It was Christie.

"Hi mom", Violet said before taking her in her arms.

She smiled before resting her eyes on Sylvie.

"How are you holding on Sylvie?"

"Oh, you know... I think that... It will take some time for me to... To feel better, but I'll get there. Thank to all of you. I know I will overcome this. Kelly would have wanted this, he would have wanted me to pull myself together quickly and move forward."

Seeing her determination, but her reddened eyes as well, Christie understood that it wouldn't be an easy process. But they would do everything for her to move on. Together.

* * *

Several hours passed without a noise, just the continuous beeps from all the machines around the bed. But this didn't bother Matt at all, quite the contrary: they indicated that he was still alive, that he had survived. He didn't remember much what happened, his sight and his mind were still plunged in a thick and opaque fog. He remembered the shooting, all these bullets ringing out around him and his crew, he remembered having rushed over Kelly to protect him, having felt this sharp pain in his chest, but then... It was a black hole, total darkness. Slowly opening his eyes, he scanned the room from left to right without moving his head, feeling something planted in his neck. His gaze rested on this form still asleep on the chair, to his right. He had understood that it was Gabby, he knew it. He didn't really know how but he knew it was his wife resting at his side. And without understanding why and how, he knew something had changed, something important for him, but he didn't know what either. He decided not to worry about it, admiring the asleep beauty beside him, this beauty he was in love with. He surprised himself smiling through the mask, his vision becoming less fuzzy with time. He heard the door open slowly, as if the person wanted to make the least possible noise. He then saw a nurse coming next to him after having closed the door, gently placing one of his hands on his left shoulder and smiling.

"How are you feeling?" he whispered as close to his face.

Unable to really answer verbally, Matt broke his grip with the pillow on his chest, clenched his fist and raised his thumb. This made the nurse smile even more. He know how to deal with tough guys like Matt. This raised thumb meant that he was in pain but this pain was manageable at the moment.

"Okay. You want some ice chips? It will ease dryness of your throat."

Matt then noticed that his throat was indeed very dry and that he was unable to swallow without pain. He nodded slightly, opening his mouth again to suck the provided oxygen.

"I bring you this."

The nurse left the room a few minutes before coming back with a pitcher full of ice.

"Here we go."

He took a piece of ice in hand, placing his other hand in the oxygen mask.

"Ready?"

Again, Matt nodded while the nurse slid the mask over his face. He spread a little more his lips to take the piece of ice in his mouth, and once inside, Matt felt a deep relief. He closed his eyes, the nurse placing back the mask over his nose and mouth. He wanted so much to grunt of pleasure, but he then remembered that Gabby was asleep, so he restrained himself.

"Feeling better?"

Once again, Matt nodded while opening his eyes. He wanted to talk, but he was unable to.

"Don't try to speak for now. Give to your body the time to work properly again."

Work properly again. Matt felt indeed very weak, he was struggling to move, even his legs. Yet, he hadn't injured his legs. He really understood nothing, so he frowned.

"You're in pain?"

Carefully, Matt shook his head from side to side, trying to move his hand as usual, but with great difficulty.

"It's hard to move?"

Finally, the nurse understood what Matt meant, for his greatest happiness.

"When your wife will be awake, Dr. Rhodes will come to see you and explain everything. But in the meantime, you must rest. Your body experienced huge trauma and you need to recover your strength. A new ice chips?"

Matt smiled slightly, nodding and opening his mouth. The nurse slid the mask again, applying the piece of ice on his patient's chapped lips before putting it in his mouth and putting the mask back on his face.

"I let the pitcher on the cart at the door. Okay?"

He said nothing, made no move, playing with the ice chip with his tongue. It made him feel so much better. The nurse smiled, checking all the machine around the bed before going out of the room. But on leaving, the door creaked, waking Gabby. She slowly opened her eyes, stretching as she could in this little chair. Matt wanted so much to show her that he was there, that he was back. He wanted to see if his refreshed throat was able to let out a sound. He opened his mouth, very slightly turning his head toward the girl he was in love with, his girl.

"Hey", he managed to whisper with a hoarse voice.

He then saw Gabby freeze in her stretch, her eyes wide open. At this moment, she realized that Matt was staring at her with his blue eyes fully open.

"Matt?"

He smiled through the mask while Gabby straightened and let her fall along her body. She didn't have words, nothing could express this joy and this relief invading her, nothing nor nobody could stop her tears to roll down her tanned cheeks. She suddenly approached him, kissing again and again his right cheek, forcing herself not to remove the oxygen mask pressed on his face, avoiding her to lovingly kiss the man she loved on his lips, as she had lost the habit. Because her love needed this. Taking his face in her warm hand, she felt again these butterflies fluttering in her stomach, those from her love for Matt, those indicating that their unborn child was just as excited as her mother.


	15. I missed you

Hello everyone! FINALLY I had the inspiration to write this chapter (phew).

So here it is ^^

I hope you will like. I tried to avoid the most mistakes possible (GUILTY: I found a "good" corrector in the internet").

* * *

 **Chapter 15: I missed you**

Gabby still had tears freely rolling down her cheeks, blocking her wet gaze and her brown eyes on the face of the one she was in love with.

"I missed you so much...", she admitted.

In his head, Matt couldn't understand how she could have missed him. For him, just a few seconds had passed. But seeing her like this, he guessed he should have slept for a while. He opened his mouth, tempting to speak, or at least emit a sound, but nothing came out of his throat. It had become this burning desert. He frowned, as to speak in his way.

"I'll call a nurse."

Without having the time to avoid this, she asked for a nurse and about a minute later, he came back. He took the pitcher from the tray, the one with the ice chips.

"If you give him some by yourself, you're his hero", he assured.

"How?"

"When he's ready, you remove the oxygen mask and place the ice chip in his mouth. And you put it back in place."

She smiled at him, taking a piece of ice in hand and grabbing the oxygen mask with her free hand.

"You're ready Matt?"

Slowly, he shook his head, opening his mouth a little bit more. Gabby slid the mask and plunged her gaze in his eyes at the same time. Then, she passed this ice chip on his lips and the love of her life took it in his mouth to soothe it. The cold in his mouth, in his throat made him feel better a lot.

"Alright, now that you're both awake, I can provide your care properly."

Matt's look changed lightly from drowsiness to anxiety, immediately noticed by the nurse.

"Don't worry, I am here to work with your muscles. But it can be a little painful when you're awake, I couldn't do anything with Gabby asleep beside you."

Work with his muscles. Matt was really wondering how much time he had slept.

"Well, I will begin with your arms. First, I will massage them and then, I will start stretching them, okay?"

Hardly, he nodded, still frowning.

"H-how m-much... T-time...", he managed to whisper.

Gabby understood immediately what he meant and took a deep breath to explain.

"Matt, do you remember the shooting?"

Focusing on this precise moment, he remembered the detonation of the gun, he remembered the pain paralyzing him at this precise moment, when he had been hit. At this sensation, he startled, sending some new waves of electricity throughout his body. He took a few seconds to breathe the maximum amount of oxygen and regain control of his breathing.

"The bullet hit your heart. We nearly lost you."

Wondering how he could have survived, he slightly turned his head toward his wife and opened his mouth.

"H-how..."

"Uh... Connor... Connor couldn't... The damage caused by the bullet was too high to repair your heart. You were dead Matt."

Still under the effects of different provided drugs, he understood but didn't panic. His mind was panicking, but not his body, as if he was still disconnected from the world around him and warmly welcoming him.

"We... We tried a last save. You remained two months in a coma, waiting for a new heart."

Two months? It seemed so far away for Matt, but so close as well. For him, the shooting wasn't two months ago, it was like yesterday. He then looked the facial features of his wife and noticed that she lost weight and that her eyes were slightly darkened by fatigue. He had inflicted it to Gabby and it hurt him so badly.

"S-so... R-ry..."

"No Matt..." she insisted by frowning slightly and still caressing his hand while the nurse was massaging his left arm. "Don't be, okay?"

Several seconds later, Matt nodded, too tired to argue.

"K-Kelly..."

It was like a slap for Gabby. He had just woke up, she couldn't tell him already, not like this. She had no right.

"He... He struggled to accept the situation. He... He's blaming himself."

It wasn't a lie: Kelly had foremost done this because he hadn't accepted the fact that Matt would die for having saved him, he blamed himself for what happened because this bullet that was going to kill Matt, should have killed him. Him, and nobody else. Matt wanted to ask when he would come by to reprimand him, but he was too groggy and too weak for that. His eyes were closing dangerously.

"Is it a problem if he sleeps during the stretch?" Gabby asked the nurse when she saw that Matt was falling asleep.

"Not at all", he reassured, "no worries."

She nodded, squeezing one last time her husband's hand and kissing him on his forehead.

"I will come back later, Liz needs me. She didn't see me for at least three days."

"Mh... Kiss her for me... Please... Tell her... I love her..."

Closing his eyes, Gabby smiled. She had a better idea in mind.

"Oh, before leaving. Dr. Rhodes asked us to prepare you a special meal. I won't allow you to leave the room without you ate."

Surprised, Gabby sat down and put down her things again while the nurse paged someone. Another nurse entered then with a tray, placing it on the table at the entry and approaching it to Gabby. She thanked the nurse and removed the lid, amazing to see what was into it.

"We asked our cook to prepare you a special meal. You're Dominican, aren't you?"

She nodded, feeling the tears coming up to her eyes. It was a sancocho, the national traditional dish from the Dominican Republic, cooked only for special occasions and celebrations. The recipe was the simple version because the cook didn't have time to prepare the original one, but there were pork, chicken, goat, manioc, sweet potato, corn, white yam, oregano, green pepper, onion and garlic. It its traditional version, sancocho was a soup, but Gabby appreciated this gesture from the medical staff.

"The cook is Dominican, we explained the situation and he found appropriate to cook this. He told us that it was to celebrate your husband's recovery", the nurse explained.

Indeed, it could be considered as a special occasion: Matt was going to live thanks to Kelly. She thanked the nurse again and asked her to thank the cook before taking the fork and knife and savoring the meal. Taking a first bite, her palate and taste buds exploded: she never felt so much pleasure of eating a meal she knew by her origins. The flavors jostled, overlapped each other and gave her incredible feelings of pleasure and relaxation. She closed her eyes, enjoying this meal. This cook was a genius for having done this in such a short time, and especially in its simplest version. Without wanting it, she shed a few tears, but it wasn't by sadness, it was just because this meal was the best she had ever eaten before. Or maybe it was due to her pregnancy. What she knew what that her stomach liked this, and maybe this little bud as well. At almost four months of pregnancy, the baby was somehow able to taste what she ate.

"You okay?"

She startled, getting out of her thoughts. She raised her head, puzzled.

"You're crying."

"Oh. It's nothing. They're tears of joy", she assured with a smile and wiping the tears. "I've never eaten such a good meal."

The nurse smiled back, finishing his work. Finishing her meal and taking her things, she left the room with lots of ideas in the head. She had to go to Christie, where everyone was surely. Gabby knocked on the door and entered as if nothing had happened. Christie, Sylvie, Antonio and Violet were all four preparing lunch in the kitchen and all turned their heads at the same time. Her big brother then dropped what he was doing and rushed to his sister to hug and kiss her. She could not help but shed a tear.

"It's hard to not tell him...", she finally admitted in a whisper.

"I know sis. But he's not ready."

Fortunately, she was supported by Antonio because she was ready to collapse to the ground. She quickly pulled herself together and wiped the tears rolling down her cheeks. She had to stay strong.

"Where's Liz?"

"In my bed", Violet explained. "She cried and screamed all night, and Tonio managed to make her sleep about three hours ago."

"How did you do that?" gabby asked then.

"Una mariposita."

She understood immediately. It was the only way to make her sleep and calm her down when she was sad or angry.

"Thanks Tonio."

He kissed her on her forehead and hugged her again.

"You hungry? We're preparing lunch."

"I already ate", she admitted then.

"Is this true?"

She nodded.

"The medical staff wanted me to eat before leaving, so the cook prepared me a simple version of sancocho the best meal I've ever eaten."

Surprised, Antonio tipped his head backwards slightly, frowning.

"Even better than mama's recipe?"

"A hundred times better. It was... I don't even have words!"

Gabby then held back moving her hand on her stomach, as she had so used over the past weeks.

"This is all suspect. You, are hiding me something. And I will discover what."

She passed her gaze on Christie, then Sylvie and both nodded. She had to tell him while Liz was still asleep.

"In that case, come have a seat on the couch, I need to talk to you. Seriously. You too Violet."

Puzzled, Antonio followed her in the living room and sat next to his sister, joined by Violet.

"You're worrying me sis. What is it?"

She threw her gaze at Christie, who understood immediately: she came upstairs to watch over Liz so that she couldn't hear the conversation. Because she knew her plan.

"Nothing to worry about Antonio, I promise. Okay."

She took a deep breath, trying to find the right words.

"A month after... After Matt had been placed in an induced coma, I've found out that..."

But Gabby didn't want to beat around the bush, so she decided to tell all of a sudden.

"I've found out that I was expecting his child."

In front of her, two mouths opened wide. Antonio and Violet weren't able to talk.

"I didn't say anything because... Because I didn't know whether Matt was going to survive or not and... And I didn't want to impose myself the suffering to raise this child without him."

She had admitted it, finally. She collapsed in tears, burying her head in her hands, ashamed.

"Aw, Gabby..."

Antonio hugged his baby sister, kissing her forehead and rubbing her back to calm her down. He understood why she didn't tell anyone, he knew what she meant. Gabby didn't want to raise another child without her husband at her side. She wanted him next to her for this.

"You... You waited to know about Matt before taking your decision?"

She couldn't help but nod, crying in her brother's arms.

"Liz knows?"

"No", she answered in a hurry. "No, I want to prepare something special for her. After what she's been through."

About four hours later, Eliza finally woke up and jumped into her mother's arms, crying. She hadn't seen her mother for three long days and it really began to weigh on her shoulders and her heart. She couldn't really see her father, then remove her mother from her became almost unbearable. She didn't say anything because she understood why her mother remained in the hospital, but she missed her parents.

"Your dad asked me to kiss you", she said, hugging her and kissing her forehead, "but I have a better idea: do you feel ready to come to the hospital and see your dad?"

It was a big shock for Liz. Because she didn't know if she was ready mentally.

"I miss dad. Terribly", she admitted. "But... I don't know if... If I want to see him with numerous tubes and all."

She looked down, as if she just said something wrong, but Gabby reassured her.

"It's okay Liz. But I will tell you one thing: daddy is awake, and he will get better in no time. I promise."

"Because uncle Kelly's heart is beating inside of him?"

Surprised, Gabby said nothing, but turned her head toward Christie and her brother.

"You told her?"

"I told her", Antonio confirmed, insisting of the 'I'. "I'm sorry, but I thought it was appropriate."

"No Tonio, you did good."

She then rubbed her daughter's back and hugged her again.

"I know that what you're going through is hard, especially because you're very young. You shouldn't suffer this much already. But uncle Kelly did this for us."

"I know why he did it mama", Liz explained. "He wanted... He wanted me to still have my father... Am I right?"

Gabby couldn't help but nod.

"Indeed. He didn't want to destroy our family."

"Daddy knows? For uncle Kelly?"

"No, not yet. He's still too weak and fragile to know. When he'll be ready, I will tell him."

It hurt Liz to know that her father wasn't aware for the man he considered as a brother, that this man sacrificed his whole life to save his life.

"Okay. I can really go see daddy?"

"I'm not lying. In that way, you are going to kiss him by yourself."

"Then I want to see him. But... It scares me."

"What is scaring you?"

"All those tubes and wires."

Liz had been so scared and in shock after her first visit to see her dad when he was in a coma and waiting for a graft. She had been so scared that she didn't even ask to come back there and Gabby hadn't insisted. She knew it was hard for her.

"Honey, I know they scare you, it's logical. But I promise that most of them are gone now."

"But there still are wires."

"Eliza... Ok, I will tell you what are those tubes and wires."

She took a deep breath and waited for her daughter to be ready.

"Daddy no longer has that tube down his throat, the one there to breathe for him."

"The one with the hiss?"

"Yes. Uh... Then, in no time, he won't have the one for his stomach because he will be able to eat normally soon. All those wires are still there, and there are some new equipment on him."

Liz began to panic, imagining her father.

"There are three tubes coming out his chest and there are here so that daddy can't catch an infection and so that his heart is kept healthy. And there is a big tube connection coming from his neck to check if his heart is indeed healthy."

"So... They're all here to check if daddy is going well?"

"Yes. There is also an oxygen mask on his face, as the one you had when... When you panicked at the hospital two months ago."

"Because daddy can't take a big breath?"

"Indeed. To... To place this new heart, the doctor had to open here", Gabby explained by lowering her right index finger from the base of her neck to her stomach.

"This is huge."

"But necessary. So, he can't take a full breath, and it can be painful for now."

Liz said nothing, thinking. She missed her dad and her desire to see him despite her fears was too high, higher than anything.

"I want to see daddy", Liz assured.

"Then, let's go?"

Eliza ate, and an hour later, they were both in front of the door. One last time, Gabby turned toward her daughter, smiling.

"Daddy is probably sleeping. So, I will check if all is going well and then, I will call you. Okay?"

Stressed, anxious, scared, Liz didn't know how to describe those feelings and sensations invading her, but she nodded. Gabby entered slowly and less than ten seconds later, she came for Liz.

"Daddy is sleeping, but it's not a problem."

"He's sleeping a lot, but he slept for two months."

"Because of the medications. So that he's not in pain. The doctors give him strong painkillers and they make him sleepy. But when you're asleep, you're not really in pain."

"Then when he'll be awake, he'll be in pain?"

"A little. But when he will see you, it will ease his pain. I promise."

Eliza nodded, entered and came to take a seat on her mother's laps, on the chair.

She looked him from head to toe, mentally noticing all the differences with the last time, holding a sob. Her father had lost a lot of weight, there was no longer this hiss that gave her a thrill and scared her so much, and there was this pillow on his chest she found funny.

"Why daddy is hugging a pillow?" she whispered.

"Because daddy can't really speak or too loud. This pillow is here so that he can tell us whether he's in pain or not. If he hugs it strongly, then his pain is huge."

"And if he doesn't hug it, then daddy is okay?"

Understanding that Liz meant ''daddy is not in pain'', she nodded, smiling.

"He will be awake soon?"

Gabby looked the different machines to find the one providing the painkillers in his bloodstream to see when it would be possible for Liz to see her father open his eyes. Once found, she read the machine correctly and smiled again.

"In a few minutes."

Indeed, after several minutes, Matt began to stir in the bed and hug his pillow. Gabby asked Liz not to make any noise, she promised. Gabby made then Liz get up and took his hand to squeeze and caress it.

"Matt?"

Through the mask, he growled, slightly turning his head and opening his eyes. It was just a blurry world for him, but he could feel someone beside Gabby, someone he knew and apeased him.

"Matt, someone is here to say hello."

Gabby turned her head and nodded, pointing to her daughter that she could talk.

"D-daddy?"

A trembling voice, tears ready to fall, Eliza didn't know what she was really feeling.

"L-Liz?"

This was the extra word for the little girl, she couldn't hold back any longer her tears. She didn't want to hurt her father, but she took his hand that Gabby had just released and squeezed it as hard as she could.

"Hey, hey... Don't cry..."

It broke Matt's heart to see his daughter cry like this. But he remembered the conversation he had with Gabby and also remembered that kids were not allowed in the hospital when patients were seriously injured.

"Liz... Come here."

"What? No Matt, you're not in shape."

"Just... The right side... That's okay... I am okay."

Grumbling, Gabby acceded to the request of her husband and helped Liz to get on the bed. Once done, she placed herself in the crook of his father's right arm and the latter hardly put his arm behind her back and tried to calm her while with his left hand, he slightly put down the oxygen mask.

"I... I m-missed you d-daddy...", Liz admitted, crying harder.

Matt couldn't help but shed a tear, because his daughter was crying. And he didn't like seeing her cry, it was beyond his strength.

"I'm not.. Going anywhere now... Never again..."

Liz raised her head, blocking her gaze moistened with tears on his father's.

"Promise?"

"Pinky promise... I cross my... My new heart."

So, she replaced her head in the crook of his shoulder, perfectly hugged and cherished as she loved when she was in her parents' bed when they were not on shift. It made Matt smile, it restored enough strength in him to do something to appease Liz's crying. He remembered the words of this song sang by Gabby to Liz in bed, the one that helped her fall asleep in a few minutes, and he also remembered the melody. With the help of the oxygen mask, he took a breath and began to sing with the strength given by his daughter.

"Una mariposita... que del cielo bajó... Con sus alas... Extendidas... Y en el pico... Una flor."

Although the pace wasn't really here, although Matt chewed some words and cut most of the sentences, it soothed Liz. He no longer heard her cry now. Gabby saw it immediately, and found this gesture very impressive and magic. So, she began to sing with her husband, at his own pace.

"¿Para quien son... Las flores ?... Si no son... Para mí... Ay mamita... Del alma... Yo me muerto... Por ti."

Both parents continued to sing tirelessly until Liz fell asleep.

* * *

 **A/N:** **For those who are still wondering what is a Sancocho, you can find the recipe and all the explanations on epicurious (in English) and marmiton (in French).**


	16. Pride

Hi peeps! I hope everyone is okay? I am truly sorry: I didn't update this week because I had a lot of work these past few days and I will get busy for the rest of the holidays, BUT I will try to update as soon as possible.

NOW, I have a quick message to pass, especially for the guest Jackie. We ALL have a life outside writing fanfictions, we have families, children, jobs, studies... SO we can't update like you want us to. WE have plenty control of our work, WE have a way to write chapters and stories and sometimes, it takes time to just write a chapter. Writing fanfictions is a hobby, and our real life is placed BEFORE this hobby. If you're unhappy regarded to that, then stop reading fanfictions, but we will continue in our pace, as WE desire. **THAT was my minute "I am tired of reading some reviews from someone asking to write the next chapter right away".**

SO, I hope you will like this chapter, I wrote it with all my heart ^^

Thank you for following this story and please, leave me a review, so that I can write the next chapter :D

* * *

 **Chapter 16: Pride**

Today was not an ordinary day, today was Kelly's funeral. And even the sky was crying him on Chicago. In his will, he stipulated that he didn't want a ceremony like for Andy, or even Shay. He just wanted something simple, something that looked like him. With few people to say a final farewell: his family, or rather his families. Brett had worked with Christie for two days to organize everything. Sylvie knew that Kelly would have wished to be buried beside Leslie, his first real love. In any case, he would have appreciated this gesture. And she did everything for this. To tell the truth, she didn't get much sleep in order to settle everything: who was going to come or not mainly. His father had promised to come to the funeral as well as Katie and of course, all the members of the firehouse 51 and Boden were coming. In their uniform. Sylvie didn't want to, but they had all insisted to honor him in uniform. Because Kelly was above all an incredible firefighter. Knowing this, she decided to pay tribute to the man she loved as well by wearing her uniform. And Gabby would do it too. It hurt her to leave Matt, but she was determined to come, explaining to her husband that her visits were not really allowed night and morning, that she was tired and wanted to go home to rest and relax, to take care of Eliza, which Matt understood very well. Dressing in her PIC uniform, she decided not to apply makeup. Because she knew that she would cry. As the women who shared his life, she had wanted to make a speech in his honor. But inspiration had never come. Someone knocked at the door: it was Gabby and Eliza. Sylvie opened the door, welcomed them inside for a moment, so that they were not too wet.

"How are you Sylvie?"

"I... I think I will get better after the ceremony. But for now... I'm really emotional!"

"Aunt Sylvie? You know that we're here? Huh?"

"Of course sweety, I know", Sylvie said, crouching to be at the same height as Liz. "Come here to give me a hug, I will definitely feel better."

So, Eliza clutched the neck of her godmother, plunging her head into her neck.

"You're sad aunt Sylvie. I don't want you to be sad."

"In that case, I won't be. I won't be sad. I promise."

They broke this hug, Gabby took her best friend in her arms. Liz had given her an idea of speech, a speech she had certainly not prepared, but worth it. After half an hour, the three girls left the house to go to the firehouse, where they had to meet. All the members of the firehouse had kept their promise: to put their uniform in tribute to Kelly. The entire family was here: Hermann's wife and kids, Tony's wife and their daughter, Katie, Benny, Matt's sister and Violet, who had insisted to come, Trudy, Boden, Donna and Terrance. And of course, all the firefighters. They were all here. Fortunately, the cemetery wasn't far away from the firehouse, and the priest was waiting for them, with the coffin. They all sat down, not even focusing on the prayers muttered by the priest, not even Hermann and Cindy, nobody. Then, Sylvie had to speak. She rose, taking place near the priest to talk. She swallowed, then took a deep breath.

"All of you know what Kelly did. Yes, he killed himself. But... You don't know why he did this. And I will tell you, right here and right now."

All were focused on this speech barely started by Brett. She stopped her gaze on everyone, analyzing their behavior, their emotions. She understood that a majority of them would be emotional.

"Two months ago, and I think everyone at 51 remember that day, we got caught in the middle of a shooting, a gang war. That day, Kelly was on the trajectory of a bullet. That day, he should have died."

She paused, feeling the tears coming up to her eyes. She held them, still swallowing her saliva and taking deep breaths, this time with a smile.

"But Matt has prevented it: he took this bullet instead of Kelly, he got shot in the heart by love for this big brother he never had, HIS big brother. But the doctors couldn't cure him, his heart was no longer viable. However, they gave him a two-month stay, two damn months during which they would search high and low to find him a new heart. But that day never happened."

She looked everyone again, trying to guess who would burst first, throwing her gaze again on Gabby and Liz. Her best friend was smiling.

"So, Kelly acted: he knew his heart was viable for Matt, he had everything planned if it did, if the doctors couldn't find a heart for Matt in time. He did this on the last day. All the way, he had hoped. Yes, he committed suicide, but he did this for good reasons!"

Leaving the tears stream down; roll on her cheeks and fall to the wet grass, she held back a sob, taking an empteenth deep breath.

"He did this... Not to destroy a family. He did this so that Eliza can still have her father with her, so that Gabby could continue to cherish her husband. He did this for Matt, his little brother.

Kelly didn't act on a whim, he wasn't desperate!"

Still fixing Gabby, Sylvie could see the tears in her eyes. She knew what she was going to say, but the others didn't understand yet.

"It was a pure act of love! For his little brother! Kelly didn't kill himself, he restored life! One last time before his death, he saved lives! Don't be sad to let him go! Don't be sad to lose someone you liked, someone you loved!" she explained in a sob. " Be proud of his act, of what he did!"

Scanning the scene around her again, everyone was crying, everyone was sad. And she knew that Kelly would never have accepted this. So, she freed herself, she let out all her emotions, startling everyone.

"He would never have wanted to see you cry over his grave because he's missing you, he wouldn't have wanted to see all of you act like you were depressed! He would have wanted you to remember those moments spent with him: joy, laugh. The pride of having spent them with him! He would have wanted you to laugh rather than cry!"

This time, Sylvie was crying, followed by Gabby, Eliza, Katie and Christie. But the behavior of every other members of this family in front of her had changed: she didn't see tears of sadness. They were something else.

"Because Kelly was a hero, and he still is! Because he's not dead, he'll stay alive, in all of us! These are not tears of sadness running down my cheeks, these are tears of joy, of pride! Because I'm proud of the man I loved, the man I love and I'll always be in love with him! I'm proud of the man who should have proposed me, but gave up this idea to save his little brother! I love you Kelly, and I always will! I don't blame you for what you did, on the contrary! I am proud of you!"

Finishing her speech, she looked down, endlessly crying. Suddenly, she heard someone clap their hands. She raised her head, just to see Hermann applauding. He was soon joined by his wife and his kids, then Gabby, Christie and Liz. And finally, everyone followed him. They were applauding Kelly, for this act of bravery he had shown to save his beloved brother. This lasted five minutes before silence returned in the cemetery.

"I want to talk too."

Everyone was surprised, Gabby and Sylvie first. Eliza had her fists clenched, she was trembling on the chair, holding a sob without knowing why.

"Liz..."

"Mama", she interrupted. "I want to talk. Please."

Sylvie hadn't moved, so, she gestured to Gabby that she accepted. She got up, came next to her godmother and faced the audience. She was a little afraid, but she took a deep breath and looked up.

"I know that I'm not even six, but... I wanted to talk. Kelly..."

She took care to choose her words: she didn't want to talk about her uncle in the past, it was beyond her own strength.

"Kelly is my godfather. And... And Matt is my dad. I am a part of this big and united family."

Slightly lowering her eyes, she thought back to that day during which her father had reassured about firefighting. That day, she had a nightmare while sleeping at her aunt Christie and her cousin Violet. Thinking back, she smiled.

"My dad told me once that about six years ago, he got buried alive on a call with uncle Kelly, uncle Hermann and uncle Tony. And both mama and uncle Jimmy buried themselves in order to save them. He told me that that day left some scars. Physical ones."

She blocked her eyes on her mother who seemed so proud of her, so proud of her daughter. Make a speech was already not an easy thing, but Liz did it yet brilliantly.

"At this moment, I got scared. I got scared of this job. I got scared for all the members of my family. Because every day, they put their life in between in order to serve this city, to save people. I didn't want to let my mom and my dad go on shift because I was scared of losing them."

Liz began to smile again, still thinking about what his father had told her after her nightmares.

"But he reassured me. He took me in his arms, telling me that they weren't ordinary scars: they represented the beginning of my story, of my life. And now, dad has a new scar, a big one from his neck to his tummy. But this isn't an ordinary scar either. It represents..."

She clenched her fists, holding a sob again before raising her head and facing her big family.

"It represents all this deep love my godfather has for daddy. This unconditional love, much stronger than his love for aunt Sylvie. This love much stronger than anything else. This scar also represents another part of my story: still having my dad beside me. Thanks to uncle Kelly. But what's making me cry today..."

Liz started to cry, desperately trying to wipe the tears on her cheeks. But they were not tears of sorrow, it was anger.

"It's the fact that my dad doesn't even know that his new heart is from his brother, he doesn't know that it's uncle Kelly's heart! He doesn't know that he sacrificed his life so that he could live! He doesn't know all of this! He doesn't know that his brother is buried today! Because if he knew, I'm sure that he wouldn't accept this. He wouldn't accept his death. He wouldn't believe in this!"

Taking a deep breath, she swallowed her saliva as her cries stopped suddenly.

"But when he will know", she began calmly, "he will also know that uncle Kelly is not dead: he's still living inside of him, he became his beating heart. And this heart is beating much stronger than before."

This time, Liz smiled, proud.

"Now, I'm not scared of this job anymore, I'm proud of it. I'm proud to see each member of my family ready to help people, no matter what. They are heroes. Uncle Kelly is a hero, my hero. Because he saved daddy's life, he saved his brother. He is my hero because he chose his destiny, he chose to save daddy. Uncle Kelly is not dead, because he promised me that in tough times, he would be there for me, he would be there to cheer me up. So, I don't cry today, I'm proud. I'm proud of being a part of this huge family. I'm proud of having such a godfather. And you should be proud of him as well."

Suddenly, a big breeze passed through the alley, rushing between the members of this united, unique and welded family. Gabby then remembered what Kelly had written in the letter, she remembered that Kelly had told her that whenever she would feel a look or a presence when there was nobody, it would be Andy, Shay and him. The wind, the breeze that enveloped everyone, it was them. It was them saying they would be there for all of them, no matter where. Liz then approached her mother to sit down, but Gabby took her in her arms and hugged her strongly.

"I am proud of you Liz... Apparently, uncle Kelly liked it."

"I wish dad was here, aware."

"Liz, I promise that I will tell him. Today."

Liz nodded, seeing in her mother's eyes that she was telling the truth.

"I love you mama."

"I love you too Liz", she repeated with a smile.

* * *

 _Severide was sitting on the bumper of the squad truck, the one he was leading. His cigar between the fingers of his right hand, he simply wanted to be alone, outside the firehouse, which had given him so much suffering, because his brother in heart died. He was angry. At Casey because he took him responsible for the death of Andy Darden, because he didn't hold him back, he didn't avoid him entering the house. That was what had cost him his life. But he felt also guilty, because he hadn't vented in time. If he had vented instead of immediately searching the owner's brother, Andy would still be alive, joking with Casey and him, just like old times. From the corner of his eyes, he saw Matt getting close to him, the one he had considered his best friend and he considered a traitor now._

 _"What the hell is going on?" Matt asked, still walking towards Severide. "You okay?"_

 _This tone, he seemed worried and angry at the same time, as if he didn't understand his best friend's behavior._

 _"Because if you're not, maybe you should take..."_

 _"Do I need your help?" he answered with contempt._

 _Casey sighed lightly, raising a little his arms._

 _"I'm trying here, Severide."_

 _"Keep on", he said, taking a new puff of cigar._

 _Matt seemed really angry, but he tried to control himself. Severide was quite grateful that Matt was trying to do his best to fix the situation, but he killed Andy. This was not enough for him. Casey turned his head to the left, trying to find the right words to reason with his best friend while he was still smoking._

 _"I've cleaned up Darden's locker."_

 _As Casey, Severide controlled his anger. Matt had never called Andy by his last name. Never. Not even at the Academy. Never. He spat, making Mat believe that it was because of the cigar while he was just trying to externalize his anger. He saw Matt look at him again with a sad gaze._

 _"You should have vented at the back", he said, turning his head to avoid Severide's look._

 _This was too much for him. Casey now accused him of having killed his brother. He suddenly turned his head to his second brother and got angry at him._

 _"We're called the rescue squad Casey, we don't vent!"_

 _Casey looked at him briefly, before turning his head again. Severide knew he did not like arguing. And he took the opportunity to rebuke him._

 _"You shouldn't have put Andy through the window", he challenged._

 _Casey sighed again, making Severide inwardly laugh. Casey seemed out of his mind, unable to justify. He was destabilized._

 _"I don't have to explain myself to you, I sleep like a baby", he lied, spitting on the ground. "You?"_

 _He then focused on watching straight ahead, bringing his cigar to his lips to take a puff while looking from the corner of his eyes Casey lowering his head and going away. Kelly then understood that Matt felt even more guilty and he was also trying to find a responsible. They were the same: they had lost their brother that day, Casey because he had failed to stop him, Severide because he hadn't vented in time. They were both responsible for the death of their beloved little brother._

* * *

Matt woke up in a big start, sweat dripping profusely on his forehead, his breathing almost cut off because of the sudden movement and the pain it had caused. He was in a comfortable, warm bed, his chest burned like never before, throwing electric shocks every time he tried to take a breath. A few seconds later, he felt a hand on the top of his chest, at the base of his neck and trying to hold him back. He still felt all the wires and the tubes on it and in it, somewhat annoying but said nothing. The oxygen mask was still in place over his mouth and his nose. The daylight combined with this still cloudy vision and that thick fog in front of him forced him to close his eyes and let himself go, to let himself slip again in this cozy bed he appreciated. He heard a voice. A warm and friendly voice speaking to him constantly, soothing him, comforting him. Then he listened, he focused on the voice he loved so much, that voice that had missed, that voice asking him to continue to take the largest breaths possible, to continue to relax while a hand tenderly stroked his own, the one gently resting on the bed sheets where he was. Slowly, very slowly he regained control of his breathing, of his heart rate. His chest was still hurting him badly, was always sending numerous electric shocks throughout his body. Following the instructions of this female voice he liked, he thought about this vision he had: it was weird. He remembered the moment they had argued after the death of Andy, but not this way. He remembered being angry at Kelly without really knowing why. What he couldn't remember, it was this moment of guilt he had. And above all, this vision of that moment, it was as if he was in Kelly's body himself. It wasn't logical at all.

"Matt? Can you open your eyes for me? Please?"

Still struggling with this awful pain paralyzing him, he slowly opened his eyes. They were burning like hell, as if a flame had lodged in them. It was an unpleasant sensation he wanted to forget, but couldn't remove, couldn't ignore.

"Matt?"

His gaze lost on the white ceiling, he slightly turned his head to the right, towards this voice. He then laid his eyes on the woman he loved, the one who was always there for him, no matter what. Having regained control of his breathing, the nurse who was at his left removed the mask he had placed on his face to help him breathe properly the time for the crisis to pass, allowing then the nasal cannula to resume its role.

"You okay now?"

Having not the strength to speak after this incident, Matt couldn't help but nod, forcing himself to stay focused on the facial features of his wife. She seemed worried.

"You had a... A bad memory?"

He knew almost instantly what she meant: the shooting. So, he shook his head from side to side while the nurse continued to provide appropriate care. Nervously, he swallowed and opened his mouth.

"No", he whispered. "It... Was weird."

"Weird? What do you mean?" Gabby insisted.

"Do you remember when..."

He was unable to finish his sentence. His throat was dry as a desert, and his mouth was just as it. Gabby took then the cup in which were still slowly melting the ice chips. She took one and put it on the lips of her husband, who then parted them to let this chip melt on his tongue and relieve his vocal cords.

"When Andy died.. Kelly blamed me and reproached me his death."

It was almost ten years ago, but Gabby remembered this moment well. The two men never stopped blaming each other for weeks. She nodded, trying to understand why Matt was talking about this.

"You had a flash of this moment?"

"It was... Different this time. It was... Like I remember this moment, but... Not in my own body... I remember this moment as if... I was in Kelly's body. With his feelings..."

Gabby opened his eyes wide, turning her head towards the nurse. He took a deep breath and tried to explain.

"It's called cellular memory. It... It sometimes happens that... The grafted is able to see what the donor saw, what he felt. Change of behavior can also occur and can also be similar to the donor."

"Even when the donor and the receiver don't know each other?"

"Indeed. We have already seen this, but it is not visible to all transplants."

Matt could hardly understand anything: how he could have dreams in which he appeared to be in the shoes of his brother Kelly, saying, doing and thinking like him? Being like him? And then, he finally assimilated what the nurse had just said. He didn't want to believe this. He turned his head toward his wife to have confirmation of what he was thinking.

"Gabby?"

She had a tear at the corner of her eye, she was clearly holding back a sob.

"When... When you took this bullet in the heart... Kelly received it as well after you. In his left shoulder. Your bloods... Mixed", Gabby explained as calmly and clearly as possible. "Usually, you have a sort of allergic reaction in this case, but not here. And it only happens when two people have the same blood type and the same rhesus."

"Gabby..."

Seeing tears rolling down his wife's cheeks, he understood. He didn't have confirmation, but he knew. Just by seeing his wife, he knew.

"No... No, I don't believe you."

He shook his head, his vision becoming blurry because of the tears ready to fall, his heart rate increasing with passing time.

"No, I don't want..."

Gabby raised her head, facing then her husband's gaze for the first time since the beginning of her explanation.

"I don't want! GET IT OUT, I DON'T WANT IT! GET IT OUT!" he cried, passing his hands in his chest and scratching it.

Paralyzed, the nurse couldn't help but remained still until seeing his patient snatching one of the chest tube and ready to snatch another one. The nurse then hurried up to restrain Matt's movement while he was screaming and crying as never.

"Ten milligrams of midazolam! HURRY!"

He could no longer hold him back. The nurse came to help, emptied then the content of the syringe he had in hand directly in the arterial line so that the product could take effect faster.

"Please... Get it out... I don't want... Don't want..."

Matt's eyes closed, his heart rate dropping to take its original curve, his grip dissipating.


	17. Becoming one

Hi peeps, hope you're doing well!

I didn't update for a month and I am honestly sorry for that, but I had no inspiration to end this chapter until today. Hope you will forgive me ^^

Please, leave a review at the end of the chapter :D

* * *

 **Chapter 17: becoming one**

"His vitals are stable", the nurse stated after several frightening seconds, allowing then Connor and Gabby to sigh in relief.

The physician checked the surgical site, where Matt had snatched one of the three chest tubes still in place.

"Alright. Page the radiology and tell them we're on our way."

"W-what?" Gabby stuttered, worried.

"I need to know if this gesture has created a pleural effusion or an hemorrhagic one. It's too early to get them off", Connor tried to explain.

"B-but... But it's been five days."

"It takes about twice this time before deciding to get them off. The time for tissues and muscles to heal at the surgical site. Snatching them like he did, it's dangerous."

"So, you will replace it."

"I will replace it and check if there is no damage as well."

The nurse came back into the room, running.

"Radiology is ready to take Matt immediately. They have a hole in the schedule."

"Okay, we take him. If all goes as planned, I will replace the chest tube down there."

he began to unlock the bed to take away the bed, the nurse calling another one to help.

"By the way Gabby", he began again, "with your permission, I would like to restrain Matt"s movements. For his own safety."

"W-what?" she stuttered again, astonished and frightened. "No!"

"In his actual shape, he could hurt himself. It's just a precaution", Connor assured.

Gabby thought for several seconds while the nurses were preparing the bed.

"This... It won't hurt him?"

Connor shook his head from side to side.

"Not at all. We'll just restrain his arms so that he won't snatch the chest tubes again as he did earlier", he explained reassuringly.

"When you will come back?"

"If all goes as planned, in about twenty minutes, thirty minutes at the most."

Gabby then whispered something incomprehensible while looking down.

"We do this as quickly as we can", he assured again to reassure Matt's wife.

She nodded, letting the bed being swept away by the nurse and Connor. Worried, lost, destalibized, she took her phone and called Christie.

"Gabby? Everything okay?"

She began to bite her lips, searching inwardly the proper words, but none could explain what she was feeling at the moment. So, without saying something, she began to cry. Again.

"I'm here within ten minutes."

Christie hung up immediately, while Gabby dropped her phone and collapsed to the ground, unable to stay up. When she arrived in the room, Matt's sister just found Gabby on the cold ground and nothing else. The room was empty. Fearing the worst, Christie rushed to Gabby and requested inaudibly an explanation.

"He... I told him for Kelly, and... A-and he... He panicked", she explained between sobs. "He snatched a chest tube and... He said that... That he didn't want his heart."

Christie could understand what happened at the time in her little brother's head. Kelly was his best fieind, a better brother than she had been a sister for Matt. Knowing that this brother died to give him his own heart was undoubtedly something terrible to handle, the most terrible thing. But Matt still wasn't unaware about why he did this, and he probably would make change his mind.

"Gabby, does he know why?" she asked in a whisper with a soft voice.

Unable to utter a word, Gabby shook her head negatively.

"Then you have to. He needs to know why his big brother did this", she said with a trembling voice. "He has to know for this baby."

After several minutes in the arms of each other, they got surprised by Connor, who was coming back with the two nurses and Matt. They got up and stepped back, the doctor deducting that Matt's action had been a big blow for Gabby, and he said nothing.

"So?" Gabby asked, wiping away the few tears still streaming down her cheeks.

The nurses explaining that they had the situation in hand, Connor left them to talk to the two women. He took a deep breath and began his explanation.

"He got very lucky, it could have been worse. The surgical site is slightly irritated because of the abrupt removal, but there is no effusion of any kind."

A huge sigh of relief seized Gabby and Christie. They had been terribly worried for tens of minutes, and knowing that there was no major damage relieved them.

"He should wake up within a few minutes. The dose of haldol wasn't very high."

"Okay. Thanks Connor."

"No problem. If there's a problem, you know where to find me. And Jeremy is also here on shift."

The nurse raised his head, smiled and signed to Gabby, as to say that it was him, then resumed his work, checking all the IVs while Christie was hugging her sister-in-law.

"I have to go back to work. I was on break, but you keep me updated?"

"Yeah, I'll call you", she promised.

* * *

When Matt woke up, he couldn't help but think about what Gabby told him and what he managed to understand. Opening his eyes, he started crying again. He couldn't believe what he was experiencing. For him, it was just a nightmare from which he wanted to escape, he wanted to wake up, telling himself that it was his imagination. But it was all real.

"Don't cry Matt..."

He felt some fingers going on the top of his cheeks, just below his eyes to wipe away the tears rolling down his pale and cold face. He was sobbing silently, crying her missing brother, his brother he loved so much and who gave his life for him. He tried to bring his hand over his mouth, but he was blocked. He looked down to his wrists, then frowned.

"Connor found necessary to restrain your movements so that you avoid to snatch the chest tubes again", the voice explained, this voice he didn't want to hear at the time.

He blamed Gabby, he blamed her for having said to him that Kelly died to give him his heart. For him, his wife was responsible for his misfortune.

"I... I thought that... T-that taking this bullet would protect him and... And..."

Matt shook his head, then opened his eyes and stared in front of him, totally distracted on anything.

"All I've done will have been for nothing", he finally whispered after some seconds.

Gabby had perfectly understood what her husband had just said, and it broke her heart.

"Why he did this...", he managed to ask between sobs.

She searched the right words, the one stuck in her throat. She had to cheer him up, and she had an idea in head. She raised her head, still stroking his hair.

"He did this for the same reason that led you to save Kelly that day."

Matt fully opened his eyes, planting his gaze on Gabby, puzzled, sad and lost.

"He did this because he loved you... He did this because he couldn't handle the fact that this bullet which should have killed him was going to kill you... He did this because... Because he didn't want to destroy his little brother's family, our family", she announced then with tears flowing down her cheeks. "He did this because he didn't want Liz and me to suffer... But he did this mainly because of this."

She stooped to grab her bag, searching her precious sesame. She showed him what she had in hand while at the same time, Matt's wet eyes widened.

"He mainly did this for that."

This time, Matt couldn't hold back his burning tears. In front of him, his wife was showing him a little picture in black and white. It was mostly white and a kind of black pocket in the middle, and in the middle of this black pocket, there was a little form. A form he had already seen somewhere before. It was a small baby. Everything was jostling in his head. A baby? His baby?

"He did this because I am pregnant!" she said with a smile despite this water falling from her eyes. " he did this because I'm carrying a baby, your baby."

Matt still said nothing, his blue and wet eyes still locked on this picture in front of him.

"He knew that... That if you hadn't survived, I would have done everything to not have this child... Because I couldn't raise our children without you! He did this for us, for you, for this child! So that he can have a father at his side..."

Gabby didn't go further in her explanation, watching carefully the slightest movement from Matt, his least breath, everything. She watched him, wanting absolutely to know what he was thinking or feeling. What she saw above all was these burning tears streaming down his husband's cheeks, tirelessly rolling on his still cold and pale skin, those she hated seeing because it made of Matt a vulnerable man while he was the strongest one she had ever seen. For his part, he began to finally understand why his big brother had made this insane gesture, why he had killed himself to save him. Frankly, he would have done the same thing if the roles had been reversed. If Kelly had been the one with a family, if he was the one who had taken this bullet in the heart, he would have done this same crazy gesture without an ounce of hesitation. Because he would have been the one with a family, he would have been the one with a sense in his life, who would have had a wife and children. He would have had everything, and he would have wanted to see a happy and united family, not a family mourning a father or a husband. He would never have wanted this, especially if his wife would have found his pregnancy in the meantime. But he was totally lost in his own feelings: he didn't know whether he had to be happy to be alive and still enjoy his daughter and this future baby, to jump of joy, or he had to be gnawed by grief of having lost his big brother.

"I know you're lost Matt, I can understand, I can feel it", Gabby continued while squeezing his hand, "but maybe what I will tell you right now will help you."

Not understanding, Matt plunged his gaze into his wife's one, trying to guess what she wanted to say.

"It's... It's a final message from Kelly."

Nervously, he swallowed his saliva, waiting for this message.

"He asked me to tell you that... That physically, he was no longer your brother... But he had become your beating heart, the one keeps you alive now. That he had become one with you, forever."

Holding back tears as he could, Matt smiled slightly, lulled by these last words from his big brother. He was right: he was going to stay near him, with him, in him. This heart, his heart was going to beat for him, he would live thanks to him, he would cherish his family, his daughter, this future child, his wife. Kelly and he had always acted in concert, but now, they were going to act together, with a single voice. He had the right to be sad, to mourn his brother. But what should take precedence above all was the fact of being alive, thanks to Kelly. He had to enjoy this new beginning.

"I... I'm going to be a dad", he said with a soft smile and his eyes red from crying.

Gabby couldn't help but burst into a laugh. She knew that the next days and weeks were going to be hard, but they would overcome this together. As a united family.


	18. What I want to be

Hello dear readers! I know, it's been a while since my last update for this story, but you know: no inspiration, lots of work etc...

Anyway, I am glad to see that I will soon reach the 100th review (hopefully with this chapter, I can dream) and that this story is enjoyed by you ^^

I hope you will like this chapter after about two months without one :D

And HAPPY BIRTHDAY to Sarrabr4 !

* * *

 **Chapter 18: What I want to be**

It was a day like another one for everyone. The firefighters from the firehouse 51 had resumed their work after having taken some days off to mourn one of their own, and the hardest part was to watch over Liz because nobody could do it. As she was close to Tony, he had proposed to stay with her when the squad wasn't on a call, but everyone was watching over her. After all, Liz was one of them, and even the temporary chief didn't manage to impose his will. He had seen all this powerful solidarity connecting every member of the firehouse, as such a so much close family they were one. At first, he wanted to say no, but what did one of them to save another member of this family made him reconsider his will. He had too much respect for people showing or having shown selflessness as Kelly. So, he authorized Liz to stay in the firehouse, for their happiness. She had taken refuge in the arms of Tony, one of his favorite uncles.

"Uncle Tony? Can I ask you some questions?"

Soon, Tony smiled. It pleased him to be called 'uncle', even though it wasn't by blood.

"Yes, whatever you want, sweetie."

"Does it hurt to have scars? I mean… Daddy had chest pains last time I saw him and… And as he has a big scar…"

He understood perfectly what she meant and what she wanted to know. Tony also knew that this future scar was going to hurt Matt badly for a while, especially in those circumstances. So, he tried to find the proper words to reassure her.

"Each firefighter has scars, whether physical or mental. But they aren't here to hurt us. They are here to prove us every day that we do our job perfectly. The more we have scars, the more they show our value."

Liz began to think, thinking about her father again, as if she couldn't help herself.

"So, daddy, who has three big scars now…"

"It means he's a great firefighter. The best."

"With uncle Kelly", she corrected.

The firefighter smiled again. It seemed so obvious to say that Kelly was the best firefighter in the world.

"With uncle Kelly, indeed", he confirmed. "They started the Academy together, they will end their lives together as well."

Liz didn't seem to understand what her uncle meant, but with his hand on his heart, it helped her.

"His heart…"

"Uncle Kelly would never leave your father. Because he loves him too much. He loves him as a brother."

After several seconds, she nodded, somewhat reassured. But a last question was in her mind.

"If you had the choice to make your life differently, to have less scars, less injuries. Or to change your job. You would?"

Astonished by her question, he remained still, unable to talk for a while before answering anything. He didn't search his words, but the question had totally lost him. He had never thought of that, and so, he took the necessary time to answer honestly.

"No way", he assure with a big smile. "We serve our city, and foremost its citizens. Being a cop, a doctor and above all a firefighter, it's the biggest honor for us. You protect the city and its citizen, we are ready to make big sacrifices for this."

He stopped, thinking again to the big sacrifice Kelly had done to save Matt and allow Gabby and Liz to remain a united family.

"Uncle Kelly did his own sacrifices to save lives, including your father's one. And any of us would give his life if it means saving others."

"But… You all have lives outside the firehouse! You have Jenny and Ella, uncle Herrmann has aunt Cindy and their kids! Everyone has a family!"

Unfortunately, Liz was too young to understand by her own what it meant to be a firefighter. Therefore, as an exception, Tony tried to explain to her why being a firefighter and sacrifice his life for another were an honor.

"Imagine that you are a firefighter. And in front of you, your entire family is in danger. Would you watch them die like this, or would you try to save them by endanger yours?"

Liz stared at her uncle, her heart beating hardly in her chest at the question. The truth is that even though she was very young, he would do everything possible to save lives. It seemed logical in her head.

"I would do it with no hesitation", she admitted.

"It is the same for us. Each citizen is a member of our family. And we are ready to die for them. Chicago is a big family."

The young girl looked down, ready to dry. She now understood this link unifying every firefighters, cops and physicians of Chicago. It wasn't the fact of helping people, it was the fact of protecting them without thinking about their own safety. They were ready to do everything they could to save just a single life, to protect this. Shedding a tear, she wiped it rudely and raised her head, proud and with a serious look.

"In that case, when I'll grow up, I will become a firefighter. Like daddy and uncle Kelly. Like you. Because I want to protect my family. I want to save all of you."

* * *

At the hospital, Matt was getting better slowly, mourning his brother dead to save him. It hurt him very badly to realize that he would never be at his side anymore, but he also enjoyed this new life waiting for him thanks to his heart: still taking care of his daughter, cherishing his wife more than anyone, being a father again, now that he knew that Gabby was pregnant of him. All the emotions were bumping in his head, whether sadness or happiness, he couldn't order them. But today, he didn't care, because it was an important day for him: today, the doctors would help him to stand up despite all the wires still hooked to him. He feared this moment, but he was super excited as well to finally sit and see something else than his toes. Gabby was also excited: she just had a call from her OB/GYN asking her to come to have the results of the tests and another ultrasound and she had explained this to Matt who remained impassive. And he had a good reason: because of his actual state, he could come with her to see by himself this growing baby in his wife's belly.

"You're ready, Matt?"

The nurse and Dr. Rhodes had come by to realize some exercise and allow Matt to strengthen his new heart to its new life. So, he was very anxious because he didn't know whether it would hurt him or not, if it would strain him or even worse, if his new heart would hold on.

"I… I am scared", he finally admitted to his wife.

"It's all normal to be scared, Matt", Connor explained. "You have a new heart, and you don't want something to happen to it. This is why you're still monitored closely: the least abnormality is signaled. If it can reassure you, it's normal the first times to feel some discomfort or feel your heart beating very fast in your chest. Give it some time, and also, recover from a heart transplant can take a while."

"How much time?"

"To resume your work, I would say six months at the bare minimum. And I said minimum, because your job is stressful and highly physical. To be sure, I would say between nine months to a year."

About a year without being fully healed. This information hit Matt at the speed of light. A year without a job, regaining strength and progressively his firefighter mission.

"Ok."

Matt took a deep breath, and inhaled deeply. He had learnt how to control his breathing when he had his head injury a few years back, and it had helped him a lot.

"Alright, Matt. You're gonna listen to me, okay?"

The nurse waited the firefighter to nod before any further explanation.

"I will remove the blankets and help you to sit. For that, you will move your legs out of the bed with the help of your right elbow when I say so. You might feel dizzy, but it's all normal after two months in a coma. Just tell me when you're ready."

After a minute of deep breaths, Matt gave a nod and the nurse smiled back.

"Okay, here we go."

With Connor, they grabbed the wires from the Swan-Ganz catheter, the ECG and all the IVs still hooked to him to place them of a cart easy to be transported by the patient himself. They then turned toward Matt.

"Now, it's your turn."

A last breath and Matt was ready: he swung his legs out of the bed and helped himself with his elbow, but with his lost muscular tone and his coma, he couldn't without pain. At first, he just gritted his teeth, but then it was unbearable: spasms were going throughout his entire body and they forced him to lie down again and close his eyes. Gabriela felt bed for her husband screaming in pain, she couldn't watch any longer. It was beyond her strength.

"Don't worry, it's alright. You just came out of a major heart surgery. It can be painful at first because of the surgical site."

"It can be painful?!" Gabby repeated. "He's screaming in pain!"

"That's why we're here to help him to sit."

Arriving next to Matt, the nurse tried to reassure him, explaining how to ease the pain. With his help, this time he succeeded, he finally managed to sit on the bed.

"How are you feeling, Matt?"

"A little sick", he managed to say in a whisper.

He was short of breath, but it was rather normal just a few days after a heart transplant. The nurse and Connor waited Matt to regain control of his breathing again, before continuing.

"Do you feel ready for a short walk?"

Opening his mouth, no sound came out of his throat, words were blocked. Unable to talk, he simply nodded. He wanted to prove to himself that he could do it, he trusted Kelly's heart.

"Okay, Matt. Take a deep breath, and use my arm to help you stand."

Matt did as requested, taking the biggest breath he could and catching the nurse's arm. He then put all his weight on his feet and his weak legs, and supported by the nurse and Dr. Rhodes, he stood up, fighting the obvious and awful pain travelling his body. His legs were shaking, he could barely catch a breath. He couldn't do it.

"No…"

Without breathing, he collapsed on the bed, closing his eyes and cringing in pain. He shed a few tears, showing to everyone how bad was this excruciating pain. The nurse and the doctor exchanged a look and the latter nodded. The nurse then took a syringe in hand while the cardiac monitor began to calm down.

"Matt? I will give you an extra dose of painkillers and muscle relaxant to ease the pain, so that you can rest. Okay?"

He didn't wait for an answer from his patient before planting the syringe into one of the numerous IV ports and emptied it into it. Soon, Matt started relaxing, and Connor, Gabby and the nurse helped him to enter in the bed and his wife covered him with the blankets, giving him as well this little red cushion he seemed like, the one he squeezed the hardest he could against his chest.

"Sorry…"

It was barely a whisper, but everyone had understood what he said.

"Don't be, Matt. You will do this in no time. Give your body the time to recover and regain strength."

He nodded, closing his eyes to sleep. Time. It was what he had found back and what he needed the most to put himself together. Taking advantage of his forced nap, she decided to go see her OB/GYN. As she knew she had no appointment today, she knocked. When she heard the doctor ask him to come in, she opened the door and entered, smiling.

"Hi Gabby! How are you today?"

"Hi Dr. Larsson! I am good actually, better than ever."

"And your husband?"

She sighed, thinking back to what had just happened.

"He's regaining strength, slowly but surely. He sat today for the first time, but he was unable to get up. For now."

"Liz must want to see her father, it must be hard for her."

"Actually, she already saw him a few days ago. And you're right, it must be hard to understand all this. She is six and very smart, but we shouldn't go through this at her age."

The physician smiled, and made Gabby sit before anything else.

"As I said to you on the phone, I got your result. I am afraid that your pregnancy might be placed at risk. Your child is indeed B+ with type c antigens."

"But… You said that there would be no risk until childbirth", Gabby asked, lost.

"Indeed, I said this thinking about the results of your child. As for you, your blood pressure and blood sugar tell me that you have gestational diabetes."

Gabby opened her mouth, but no sound came out. How she could have diabetes now while she already had a term pregnancy? It was almost impossible.

"But I had Liz, w-why I didn't have diabetes before?"

"Well, diabetes can sometimes be asymptomatic, which seems to have been the case during your first pregnancy. And you haven't been tested for this first pregnancy because you weren't at risk. I took all precautions for this one because there was a risk for your child."

"Okay, okay…", she whispered. "And, uh… I would have all the symptoms of diabetes, and then they will leave after childbirth?"

"It can go, or not. Pregnancies reveal a latent diabetes. Most of the time, diabetes goes away after the birth of the child. However, this disorder puts you right in the risk category."

"What do I risk, I don't get it."

Even though she had a paramedic training, Gabby didn't know everything about diabetes.

"It's a risk for both you and your baby. The fetus can develop macrosomia, respiratory distress at birth, neonatal hypoglycemia or a risk of developing a non-insulin-dependent diabetes himself. For you, it can lead to pre-eclampsia for the worst scenario, you can also give birth early and/or by c-section, you can have a high blood pressure, which is already your case, a significant weight gain, edema, a pregnancy toxemia or as I said earlier, a risk of developing type 2 diabetes after giving birth."

Gabby couldn't talk, but she nodded. She understood the risks, but she felt overwhelmed.

"So, appointment a month?"

"You would rather monitor you every fifteen days, without wanting to scare you. This would allow you to reassure yourself, and me to keep an eye on the situation. It would be better to have any problems with this child in view of the situation you're facing, am I right?"

Gabby knew perfectly what Dr. Larsson meant: she was thinking about Matt, about everything she had to handle on her own, even though her family helped her a lot with Liz.

"No, indeed. Thanks for this."

"You're welcome. Before leaving, I would like to take a look at this beautiful place built by his hands!" the doctor said, pointing Gabby's belly.

"Oh, right! Sure, no problem."

In five minutes, she checked the vitals of Gabby and the baby, and did an ultrasound to check if all was going well. And it was the case.

"Can I ask you a question?"

"Of course, go on! I'm here for this."

"I would… I would like to know when we'll know about the gender."

"As you're in your eighteen week of pregnancy, maybe next month I could tell you."

"And uh… It's possible to bring Matt and Liz? I would surprise my daughter, she isn't aware yet that she would become a big sister soon, and…"

"Say no more! I would like to see her and explain everything by myself if you want."

"I have a better idea."

Gabby explained everything in detail, what she wanted to do while the OB/GYN was finishing the ultrasound, and she joined immediately this project. In a month, Eliza would have the biggest surprise of her life, she would realize that she would be a big sister, something she wanted to become above all before the accident.


	19. The best gift ever

Hey there! I hope you're doing well ^^

Enjoy my moment of inspiration for the best (beautiful) chapter I've written so far for this story (I think)!

* * *

 **Chapter 19: The best gift ever**

 _A month later…_

Matt had been transferred to the rehab center in the hospital, and no more tubes or wires were coming out of his body now. He had become a little more human and it allowed his daughter to come see him as she wanted, for their happiness. Although she loved her father more than anything, seeing him with all this medical equipment had frightened her so much that she asked her mother to no longer bring her to him before having become her father again. It somewhat hurt both parents, but they fully understood her decision: she was too young to go through this. However, today was a special day for everyone. Gabby and Matt would finally be able to see their future baby together, and this time, Liz would be here as well, although she wasn't aware yet.

"I can't wait. To finally see with my own eyes this little buddy in this beautiful belly."

"I stop you right now!" Gabby let out, holding a laugh. "My belly is not beautiful: it's getting bigger every day, with stretch marks everywhere. I feel fat and tired."

"And I think you're perfect. I don't care whether you're fat or not: you're my wife, then you are perfect", he explained calmly, caressing her face.

She sighed, sitting on the bed and pretending to hit him.

"You've insinuated that I was fat."

"What I meant is: I don't think you're fat."

Gabby couldn't help but kiss tenderly her husband. He was so good with her, and she liked it.

"I love you."

"I love you too."

They kissed once again, until Matt reacted sharply.

"I think we forgot someone."

"Did we?"

She barely finished speaking she laid her hands over her mouth, shocked.

"Oh my God! I call Tonio!"

Matt tried not to laugh, but he couldn't hold it back. Placing his hand on his chest, he burst into a laugh until cry. It still hurt him a few times, but it wasn't as painful as when he woke up after two months in a coma.

"And you, stop laughing!" she screamed, knocking him on the arm.

" _I was wondering when you were going to call to pick up Liz_ ", Antonio stated immediately after having picked up his phone.

"I am sorry Tonio, Matt had rehab and… Anyway, it's not important. Could you bring Liz here, please? I have an appointment in an hour and I have not the time to make the round trip."

" _Whatever you want my Queen_ ", he mocked.

"Coward… You know the number of the room?"

" _Yes sis, I know the number of Matt's room._ "

"Oh, and don't tell Liz about the appointment. She doesn't know yet", his sister explained.

" _It's today?_ " he asked, aware that Liz was listening.

He tried to make it clear to Gabby, and with the tone in his voice and the kind of code he introduced into their conversation, she understood.

"Yes, it's today. I couldn't choose another date other than this one, don't you think?"

" _Indeed. I bring you Liz, don't worry. See you soon._ "

He hung up, turning to Liz.

"Let's go see dad", he said with enthusiasm.

"Right now?"

Eliza's face lit up suddenly, her eyes reflecting the excitement.

"Right now. Come on, we'll buy some cakes for mama in route."

"What about dad? He doesn't have the right to eat cakes?"

"Not yet, sweetie. His heart is still too fragile, but we'll find something for him."

"Okay!"

Liz took her uncle's hand after he put a little jacket on her shoulders so that she couldn't get cold, and together, they went to the cake store Gabby loved so much. Being accustomed to this store, she often took Liz with her to choose the best cakes and candies. Antonio knew it, and once they entered, he let go of her hand. She immediately rushed to the counter.

"Oah, hi Liz! God, you've grown up so fast!"

"Hi Maylis! Guess what? It's my birthday today!"

"Well, happy birthday to you, honey! For the occasion, I let you choose six big cakes, and I offer them to you", the owner announced with a smile.

"COOL!"

Liz was thrilled, in her element. She toured the store as Antonio approached the saleswoman.

"Thank you, for offering cakes. Gabby loves them!"

"I must confess that she often comes here secretly. To buy and eat everything", the waitress whispered.

Antonio looked at her badge to find out her name. The woman in front of him was called Maylis, she had dark brown hair like soot and a soft smile. In fact, he felt very quickly at ease at her side.

"I believe you. My sister loves everything sweet."

The two adults laughed, until Liz came back to them, almost crying.

"What is it Liz? Talk to me."

She tried not to cry in front of people who stared at her, so she held her desire to melt into tears.

"I… I find no cake for daddy."

Antonio stooped and took her in his arms while she rubbed her eyes to not cry. But before he could talk, Maylis did.

"We find that, honey. I promise. Come with me, I will show you my reserve of special cakes."

With the agreement of Antonio, she took Eliza in her arms and took her in the back of the store. And he remained standing here, almost hypnotized by this woman. He shook his head, as to refrain to fall in love with her, but it was too late. He had looked at her from head to toe, and he had seen no sign of relationship: no alliance, no real jewelry value. According to himself, he had all his chance, but he wasn't the kind of man taking the first step, at least not like this. About five minutes later, the two girls came back with their arms full, smiling.

"So, you found your happiness?"

"Yes, look! These are sugar and gluten free cakes."

Antonio raised his head, not understanding why such cakes could be special.

"They are better digested by the body, and dad can eat them without gaining weight, which would be a real problem in the case of your brother-in-law. And Gabby can also eat them without problem."

Obviously, Gabby had already explained almost everything to Maylis, and so, she could advise on what to eat without risking anything during pregnancy, and it reassured Antonio.

"How much I owe you?" he asked while she and Liz were putting the cakes into a box.

"Oh, nothing. Birthday gift for Liz!"

"Oah, it's… Really nice. Thank you."

"You're welcome. Say 'hi' to Gabby and Matt for me."

"I will. Thanks again, and… See you soon."

Entering the car, he fastened the belt for Liz and drove to the hospital. Once there, they headed to the rehab center, located in the hospital itself. The seven year old little girl was excited, and it was hard for her uncle to hold back her enthusiasm.

"Liz, calm down a little bit, please."

"Sorry, uncle Tonio. I just… I just want to see daddy and mommy", she admitted.

Antonio understood her, but he had to remain strict on her.

"I know you want, but daddy is still highly tired, and you have to stay calm. Understood?"

"Understood."

In fact, Liz started pouting. It was her birthday, and stay calm was some kind of punishment or her on this special day.

"Here we are."

Antonio knocked, then entered, kissing his sister and shaking hands with his brother-in-law, Liz remaining back, still pouting.

"Liz?"

She looked down, and let out a few tears, sobbing.

"Oh, mi hija."

Gabby got up and took her daughter in her arms.

"What is it, honey?"

Her maternal instinct had taken over, and she worried almost immediately. She could see that Eliza wasn't alright without knowing why.

"I… I just want… A birthday… A normal one…"

But Gabriela it wouldn't be the case. She wasn't going to celebrate her seven years in an usual way, but in a very original one.

"Oh my baby. We'll do our best, okay?"

Liz nodded, asking then to be in the arms of her father. He got up, took her is his arms and breathed deeply at the same time. It'd been barely a month since the heart transplant, so he needed to be careful. So, he sat down again on the bed to be able to cuddle his daughter as much as he wanted.

"I promise, Liz. Today, you will have the best birthday gift ever."

She raised her head, wiping the tears still streaming down her face with the palm of her hands.

"You're finally coming home?"

"No, Liz. Not yet, but I will come home soon. I promise."

"Then what?"

"You'll see. Wait a few more minutes."

Gabby wanted to confirm Matt's promises, but her eyes were elsewhere, locked on the bag held by her brother. She recognized the logo printed on it, and just with this, her eyes lit up.

"Oh! Sorry, I almost forgot. I thought that Liz and I could stop by the cake store you like and we could bring some for you. Well, for Matt and Liz as well."

"Matt can't have one."

"But these are special, mama", Liz interrupted. "Daddy can eat them, but not much. And you too, Maylis told us."

"Thank you, Tonio", Gabby thanked him, "You'll tell me how much I owe you."

"Nothing. Offered by Maylis for her birthday."

Gabby smiled, offering half of a cake to Matt while she ate the other half, and did the same with another one for Liz and Antonio.

"God, these cakes are awesome!"

"I agree with you."

"Me too."

Everyone agreed, these cakes were the best of Chicago, probably the best in the world.

"Alright, we have to go. We'll be late."

"Where are we going, mama?"

"We'll go see someone special. She has your birthday gift."

"Okay."

Matt put Liz down and stood up. He was ready to walk, but the doctors just authorized short walks for now: it exhausted him a lot. Reluctantly, he settled on the wheelchair, Liz taking the opportunity to sit on his lap while Gabby was pushing his two beloved. Antonio came back home to get ready to work. Once arrived at the front door, the doctor welcomed them in her office.

"Hi Gabby! Hi Matt and hello young lady!"

"You're the one who has my birthday gift?"

Puzzled, the doctor understood what she was talking bout was what Gabby had suggested at their last appointment. So, she nodded.

"Indeed, I have your present. Happy birthday to you, young lady! How old are you now?"

"I am seven today."

"Well, it makes me old stuff! Seven years already."

"You know me?"

"Yes, I do. I am the doctor who delivered your mom. Call me Sandra."

"Okay, only if you call me Liz."

The physician smiled, nodding again.

"Fair enough. I am glad to meet you here, Liz. Gabby, if you may…"

"Sure!"

She stood up, going into the small office to lie down. Matt followed her, then the doctor. Once on the bed, she unbuttoned her pants and lifted up her shirt.

"What are you doing, mama?"

"You will see, Liz. But promise me to be very kind."

"Pinky promise", she affirmed, understanding that it was something important for her parents, without knowing why.

The doctor then applied some gel on Gabby's belly.

"If you have any question, you can ask, okay?" Dr. Larsson explained to the young girl.

She knew that at her age, it was hard to understand what was going on and that kids had a lot of questions in mind.

"Why are you putting ointment on mama's belly?"

"This is gel. It allows me to see correctly into someone's body."

"But why you want to see in her body?"

"Well, sometimes, doctors find something abnormal, and with this machine, I can see what is not normal."

"So… Mama has something abnormal?"

"We can say that", the doctor smiled. "Come here, I will show you."

Liz approached slowly and the physician took her on her laps.

"What I have in hand, it's a probe. It allows me to see inside people. So that I can take pictures and videos."

"Okay."

Matt squeezed Gabby's hand harder. He was totally excited to see by himself this little baby growing inside of his wife's belly. The doctor placed the probe on the gel, and soon, a sound invaded the room. The baby's heartbeat. Liz looked everywhere around her, but she didn't understand.

"What is it?"

"It's a heartbeat."

"But the heart is not in the tummy, it's in the chest."

Dr. Larsson turned then to the parents to have an explanation.

"She knows her anatomy."

"I see. Indeed, Liz, the heart is not in the tummy. But there is a reason. Look."

The doctor moved the probe to have a better view of the baby, then turned the screen toward Gabby and Matt. Liz all looked at it. She opened slowly her mouth when she saw her parents ready to shed a few tears. She got up, still looking at the screen, trying to understand what was happening. There was a video in black and white coming from the inside of her mom's belly, there was also this strange noise of a heart beating very fast. She thought, remembering a conversation she had had with her parents a few months back. It was when she wanted to know her story: Matt and Gabby had told her that before being born, she had been in her mother's tummy the time to grow enough. It was a story she had been able to understand. And this time, she understood on her own: there was a little baby growing in the womb of her mother, just as she had grown before. At this specific moment, she realized that she would become a big sister very soon. She started crying, turning to her parents.

"I… I will have… A little brother or sister?" she asked between sobs.

"Yes, Liz. You will become a big sister!"

She rushed into the arms of her father, weeping bitterly. Knowing that she would get what she wanted the most in the world the day of her birthday was a too nice gift for her.

"Then… This isn't because you ate too much cake you have a big belly, mama…"

Matt hold back a laugh, thinking back to their little conversation earlier, Gabby glaring at him, but smiling at her daughter.

"No. I have a big belly because baby is taking all the place."

"So, he will continue to grow?" she asked, totally innocently while wiping the tears still streaming down her face.

"Yes. Yes, he will still grow. A lot even."

"And what we can hear, it's his heartbeat?"

"Indeed. It's beating very fast because he's still too small", the doctor explained. "Here, you can see his head… Here are his arms, and… His legs."

"He looks like a bean."

"Well! I think we found a nickname for this one!"

"Yeah, we'll call him Beany until birth", stated Matt in a joke.

"I like it."

"You want to know the gender?"

Matt, Gabby and Liz stopped joking immediately, turning to the doctor. Of course they wanted to know the gender, that was why Gabby had taken an appointment for today, for her daughter's birthday.

"Please."

Sandra moved the probe trying to find the right angle to determine if the family would become expecting a girl or a boy. A minute later, she paused, taking a photo and printed it immediately.

"Congratulations! You're having another little girl within four months."

A girl. They were going to have another girl. And Liz was going to be a big sister, she was going to have a little sister. It was enough for them to be happy: having a complete family. No matter the gender, it was theirs, and they already loved their future baby. After some further exams of the baby, Gabby wiped the gel and Liz placed her hand on it.

"Hi little sister! You don't know me yet, but I will be your big sister. And I love you a lot!"

While Liz was talking to her little sister, Matt kissed his wife's hand, the one he squeezed since the appointment started. He was happy, calm, ready to cry. His brother had allowed him to live this wonderful and memorable moment, and he could never thank him so much. His only way to show him gratefulness, it was to preserve his heart, to cherish every moment like it would be an unique one, a moment he could probably never live again. It was the best gift he could receive. And Liz had her best gift ever as well.

"Happy birthday, sweetie."


	20. Heroes

**We did it, dear fans! 100 reviews! THANK YOU AND BE PROUD OF YOU!** I was so excited when I realized that I was over 100 reviews ^^ I had written all the rest of the story (this chapter, plus four other chapters), but my rabbit frightened me before I could save everything on my USB stick, and... I lost everything :'(

That's okay though, now that I have a new laptop, I can write down AGAIN these chapters (with just my terrible memory, sorry). I will take some time, because I want to rewrite them word for word. I guess you can understand ^^

It's time to read and leave me a review after :D You can also ask me questions, tell me that what I do is not good,tell me that I have written something wrong, etc...

But I trully think you will like this chapter.

 **HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO Gaellicious BY THE WAY :D**

* * *

 **Chapter 20: Heroes**

Today, Gabby was going to enjoy a moment of calm to relax with a girls day. Yes, today, she was doing shopping with Sylvie and Liz. She was now nearly six months pregnant, and her belly had almost doubled in one month. Liz had asked about pregnancy and childbirth, very curious to know how it was going. She had understood that she was born the same way as her soon-to-be-born baby sister, and it intrigued her immensely. But today, nobody would think about this, nobody would think about Matt or Kelly. They all would think about Beany who was going to be born within the next trimester. Stumbling into the shopping streets for several minutes in search of the perfect clothes and decorations for the future child, Sylvie stopped suddenly in front of a window.

"Gabby? I think I've found our little gem..." Sylvie said, pointing at one of the windows.

Gabby turned and stepped back to see what her best friend meant. Her eyes widened and her mouth opened, she was speechless.

"It's... So gorgeous!"

"THE gem! I told you it would be great to do shopping today! Come on, let's get inside to see it!"

"Hell yeah!"

Followed by Liz who remained silent, the two friends entered the shop, finding numerous clothes for the future lady. As for the seven-year-old girl, she decided to go further into the store while remaining within sight of her mother. Something had interested her too. In the toy aisle, there was a large box filled with foam pieces to form a puzzle. She knocked the large box upside down under the astounded eyes of visitors but Gabby and Sylvie hadn'tt noticed anything, too obsessed with the clothes they found. Liz scattered them on the ground, and chose thirty-nine different pieces to assemble them. She was looking for very precise pieces. Finally hearing the whispers of the people in the store, the girls turned to notice that Eliza was not at their side.

"Liz?"

They both advanced towards the crowd, making their way to the center, and finally saw Gabby's daughter on the floor, finishing a puzzle, a large box upside down.

"Liz!"

The little girl jumped, turned her tiny head towards that voice she had recognized: it was her mother calling her. The latter threw herself to the ground, not realizing at the time why her daughter had put such a bazaar in a store they had never visited before. Liz lowered her head, looking at her work: it was an assemblage of pink, violet and parma pieces, some had a letter inscribed on it, others had a heart, but each was unique in its kind.

"Liz, you don't have the right to do that in the store", Gabby explained calmly.

She looked into her mother's eyes, thinking that she was going to meet her angry eyes, but that was not the case. She saw incomprehension. So, Liz decided to explain, she tried to explain what she had done and why. She clenched her fists, taking a deep breath before speaking without a trembling voice.

"My name is Eliza Andrea Casey. In tribute to your best friend and daddy's best friend, two people I would never meet."

The girl bit her lower lip, a feature she had inherited from her mother. She was ready to weep, holding an obvious sob.

"Will... Will my little sister be called Kellie? In tribute to uncle Kelly?"

Her mother and her godmother remained open-mouthed. They didn't expect that. Looking back at the puzzle finished by her daughter, they finally noticed the assemblage of letters she had created: this was the name Kellie, interspersed with pieces with a heart in the middle. Gabby realized that Liz had moved away from her so she could also find a gift for this baby, her little sister. She loved her godfather, and she suspected that he was missing her, but she would never have imagined it. She would never have thought that her own daughter would like to call her little sister like her uncle.

"Honey...", Gabby began with a sad and calm tone. "Dad and I have not discussed it yet."

She lowered her head, as if she was disappointed by her mother's reaction. But a hand came to rest under her chin and raise it up.

"But you know what? I bet dad would be delighted to see what you did for your little sister. We should take a picture, and send it to him, so that he can give his opinion. What do you think?"

Gently, she nodded as the crowd dispersed. She took a picture of the puzzle, sending it to her husband and hoping to have news soon. She heard her daughter cry, making Sylvie cry in her turn. She did not like seeing her goddaughter cry, each time she also shed a few tears.

"I miss uncle Kelly, mom...", she finally confessed between two sobs.

This broke the hearts of the two young women, especially Sylvie. She also missed Kelly terribly. She looked at her hand, especially her finger and then her ring. She played with it for a while, before being overwhelmed by emotions.

"I know you're missing him, sweaty. We all miss him. But he will always be in our hearts."

Strangely, Sylvie was not really sad. The man she loved was missing at her side, but she knew deep down that Kelly had loved him until his last breath. And it was priceless. Before his letter, she had hated him for this incomprehensible gesture, but now that she had seen the last thoughts of her soul mate, she understood. She no longer hated him, and she was proud of having had to share the last years of his life. Gabby's phone rang, Matt had just answered. She smiled, asking Liz to read aloud her father's message.

"I... W-would... Be... Hon-nored... To... C-call... My... Dau... Daughter... In.. Tri-bute... To... Kelly."

Time to read the sentence correctly, Eliza opened her mouth, but no sound came out.

"Dad is okay? Right?"

Gabby let out a nervous laugh, tears flowing freely on her face as well.

"Yes, Liz! Dad is okay! Your little sister will be called Kellie", her mother confirmed.

She took her daughter in her arms to comfort her as more tears came to flow. The three girls were in tears in the middle of the store with at their feet the puzzle that Liz had done. They remained motionless several minutes before the eyes of the salesmen and the shop owner.

"Liz... We'll have to tidy up now."

"I know Mom. But... Can we take the puzzle with us? Please?"

"I... I don't know Liz, maybe later?"

Eliza lowered her head again, beginning to put all the foam pieces in the big box and destroy her masterpiece. Very emotional and touched by the story they had just heard, the salesmen and the boss looked at each other, nodding to each other. The boss decided to intervene.

"Do not destroy your puzzle, sweetheart", he stopped her, surprising Gabby and Sylvie.

He took the girl's hands, understanding what she could feel at that very moment. The girl before him was old enough to understand what life and death were, he had understood that the people they had spoken to were also dead, but also that she was very attached to this deceased uncle he did not know, to the point of wanting to name her future little sister like him.

"You know what? If your mom agrees, I'll give you this puzzle so you can decorate your little sister's room with it."

Liz turned to her mother, her eyes filling again with tears.

"Are you okay with this? Can we keep the puzzle, please?"

Gabby bit her bottom lip, holding back a sob as she felt herself nod. It was a nice gift from her daughter for her little sister, she could not really refuse.

"You... Are you really willing to offer that?"

"If I propose, it's because I agree. My sellers wouldn't forgive me otherwise!" He said jokingly.

Then, the girl rushed at him, taking his legs in her arms to give him a hug.

"Thank you very much, sir", she said, crying.

Yes, that was the best gift we could give to a seven-year-old girl.

* * *

Matt was working hard to finally come back home, with his wife and his daughter. He wanted to be there when Gabby would be about to give birth. But what he would have wished the most, it was to have Gabby near him today, to support him, to cheer him up. He was going through a hard time, even if he kept saying he was fine. He had had another flashback, one of those from Kelly's point of view, and it had greatly shocked him. It wasn't an ordinary flashback, it wasn't a moment he remembered, it was a moment with just Kelly. He had lived this very specific moment, the one where he had decided to take his own life to save him.

 **Flashback**

* * *

 _It was sunny, summer was approaching. The sun had pierced the few clouds dancing in the blue sky, it irradiated the earth and raised the temperature. It was nice. Kelly had gotten up so, lulled by its rays. Sylvie wasn't at his beside, she had left for the hospital to support her best friend. He didn't blame her, he had been so awful with her these last few days. Slowly, he stretched before heading to the bathroom. He stopped in front of the mirror, staring at his reflection. He was bare-chested, and delicately, he passed his fingers over the scar on his left shoulder. It didn't hurt him physically, but mentally, it was a pain he couldn't overcome. His best friend, his brother was going to die tonight because of this stupid bullet, because of this stupid decision he had taken to save his life. It had just hit his shoulder, but his heart and soul had been irreparably touched by this selfless gesture. It should have been him in this hospital bed. It should have been him dying, he should have died today. It wasn't fair. Especially since Gabby was carrying Matt's baby. Liz wasn't aware of anything, because it was too soon to announce it, that was what Gabby had told him. He had immediately realized that if the doctors weren't able to find a new heart for Matt, then she would end her pregnancy, she would ask for an abortion. It was hard to imagine it, but she had no desire to raise another child on her own, without Matt. Even though, she had Sylvie and himself whom to count on, she had the firehouse, she had all the firemen of Chicago, who admired Matt as their idol. But it was not fair. Matt didn't have to sacrifice his life and his family for him, even if they made the promise to take care of each other, to be there for each other, to protect each other. It wasn't the death his brother deserved. He deserved to live, to be happy with a new paternity, he had to stay alive to see his children grow up, to grow old and die alongside the woman he loved. It disrupted him, but on the other hand, how he could dare to leave Sylvie in such a situation? He loved her so much, he couldn't do this to her, she would be devastated. He wasn't able to make a clear decision. Sacrifice his life and afford to keep one that was worth it, or do nothing and continue his own life? If he chose the first option, Sylvie would probably never recover from this, but at least, he would be happy to know that Matt was going to live and enjoy his family, that this gesture he had had wasn't going to destroy them. On the contrary, if he chose the second solution, he would never be happy again, his heart would be filled with despair and guilt, because he would have destroyed an united family, just to stay with the woman he loved. And he didn't know what to do: preserve the unconditional love Matt had for Gabby, or privilege his own love for Sylvie. He was lost, but he had to find the solution before tonight. Because tonight, it would be the end of everything. He sighed, looking down so as not to meet his own gaze and headed to the shower. As he did every morning, he let the warm water flow over his body, staying motionless with his eyes closed. In general, it helped him to think, but today it didn't work. He shouted his despair, placing his fist on the icy wall to keep himself in balance. After nearly an hour trying to make the right decision, he cut off the water and dried himself off, then put on an underwear and jogging pants and an old t-shirt, the one from his first steps as a firefighter. He then decided to change his mind by cleaning the house from top to bottom. He vacuumed, cleaned dust, washed all the windows, and also did some errands to fill the fridge with lots of good things. But despite everything he had done, he hadn't yet decided what to do. He needed to do one more thing. He switched to jeans, his favorite t-shirt and his leather jacket, took his keys and drove off. After an hour without stopping, he stopped oddly at a familiar place, a space which allowed him to think peacefully: the cemetery. He got out of his car, wondering how he could have arrived here without noticing it and passed the metal grids. When he found his best friend's grave, he smiled. He knelt softly, and gently cleansed Leslie's tombstone as he felt a few tears rolling down his cheeks._

 _"Hey Shay. I didn't come here to see you for a long time."_

 _He looked down, surprised to see that the grass covering his coffin was one of the only flowery places in the cemetery. Maybe it was her, it was Shay who was going to give her the solution. She had always been good advice, always attentive to him. It was for these reasons that he loved her so badly. Not like a simple friendship, it was a true love that embraced him. But she was gay. This had astonished him at first, but he had accepted her as she was, and at least, being her roommate, he could keep an eye on her and watch her._

 _"_ _But today, it's the right time. You'd always been there to give me some good advice, and today I have to make a choice. The hardest choice in my whole life."_

 _He took a deep breath, raising his head. His gaze met the picture of Leslie adorning the stone, just to the right of her name, with a big smile, making him smile back._

 _"Two months ago, we were taken in the middle of a shooting, and Matt saved my life. I could have died that day, but... But he was there, and he took the bullet for me. If he wanted a chance to survive, we had to find him a new heart within two months", he explained, letting the tears flow freely on his cheeks and fall on the flowery grass. "It's been two months today, and the doctors didn't find a damn heart for him. Nothing. The doctors will stop his care tonight, and... And I can't live with this idea. This idea to lose another brother."_

 _Kelly clenched his fists, pausing in his monologue, noticing that speaking freely as he was doing was a way for him to free himself from a heavy burden he had been holding for months._

 _"Matt and I are sharing the same blood type, same rhesus. I asked for a match with him. And... And I am matching, 87%."_

 _He decided to close his eyes, finally letting himself be overwhelmed by the different emotions he was trying to hold back and drown at the bottom of him. He told Dr. Rhodes that he wanted to take all the necessary procedures in case the two months wouldn't be enough to find a new heart for Matt, but he had never thought to get there. All that he had done, the signatures of papers, his will, the consents, the definition of the hypothetical organ donation, the designation of the next of kin for his final decisions, all that was in anticipation of this day he feared. And he now faced it._

 _"It's enough to give him my heart, but... But I'm scared to death. I'm frightened Shay. If I do nothing, Matt will die tonight and I will live in remorse, I will feel guilty for not having saved him while I could have. But If I give him my heart, nobody will understand why I did this, why I lost life to save my brother."_

 _He finally tried to wipe away the tears that continued to flow, but the more he passed his fingers under his eyes, the more tears rolled down his cheeks. It was endless._

 _"I want to do what is right. My guilt or their misunderstanding. Save Matt so he can enjoy his family and his future baby, or do nothing and blame myself forever."_

 _He lay down on the grass, closing his eyes to make the best decision possible. Inwardly, he began to see the solution. He had done everything in case this day came and he had to go all the way. He let the sun lull him and caress his face, he let the grass and flowers tickle his neck, he thought. To come here when everything went wrong was his best remedy to get better, to make the right decisions. It worked every time. And again, it had worked. After an hour, it was like a revelation, as if Leslie were talking to him directly in his mind to tell him what to do. The two options that had been tugging him for weeks, he could put them together in one. He finally stood up, observing for the last time the smiling portrait of the woman he had loved and caressing the golden letters forming her name on this cold marble._

 _"I hope she will understand why I did this, I hope she will forgive me."_

 _He got up, walked through the aisles and went back into his car. He stopped at the jeweler in order to choose a ring. He then found a magnificent white gold ring set with six little California topaz. It was perfect. He decided to take it, remembering the size of her annular finger since the last time he had offered her a ring, and asked to have it engraved. He wanted both their names and the date of their first meeting at the firehouse 51 on it: June 18, 2014. Very few men remembered the date of this first meeting with the love of their life, but he remembered it as if it were yesterday. He went home and sat at his little desk, taking a pen in his hand and some paper. He remained motionless for a few seconds before writing. He wrote letters. He placed them in separate envelopes, and in one of them he placed the ring he had chosen for Sylvie, for his beloved. He smiled, imagining her tears at the discovery of his ring. He sealed the envelopes, writing the addresses on them. He took them with him, taking his leather jacket and his keys to go and post them. At the office, he asked to talk to the boss to ask him a favor. He wanted these letters to be delivered at a specific timing, on a specific day and he didn't know if it was possible or legal, or whatever. He was then received by the director and explained the situation to him in the smallest detail. He was hard to accept, but in exceptional circumstances, he gave his word to Kelly after half an hour of negotiation. He went back into his car. Now, he had no choice, he couldn't go back. He sighed, but it did not calm him down. He decided to ride until he could act. He stopped strangely in front of his god-daughter's school. She played in the courtyard with other children, cheerful and surely not thinking for a moment that her father had to die tonight. He remained ten minutes watching her smile, hearing her laugh. That was the life of a six-year-old girl. It was not mourning, she had no right to lose her father, not today in any case. He started his car again, driving to the hospital. He went out and headed to the cardiology intensive care unit. First arrested by the nursing staff, he explained that he wanted just to glimpse his brother through the window, but he didn't wish to enter into the room. He gave no more details, but accompanied by a nurse, he was authorized to do so. Through the window of the door, he could see Gabby holding and stroking Matt's right hand. He could see Sylvie standing behind her to massage her shoulders and relax her. He could see for the first time his brother, lying in his deathbed with a tube down his throat to breathe for him, with an enormous machine placed on his left side, pumping, cleaning and reintroducing his blood in his body. His hair had tarnished, as if the fact that his heart had stopped triggered the end-of-life process. He had also lost a lot of weight, his skin was almost as pale as the sheets. He refrained himself from passing his hand over his lips, but he could not restrain his tears. Comforted by the nurse, he asked her not to tell Gabby and Sylvie about his coming here and asked to get the word out. He didn't want them to know that he was there a few minutes before entering in again in order to save this brother he had never had and wanted to protect. Leaving the hospital and entering his car, he kept driving the time to find the right place and the right speed to achieve his goals. He had to be close to the hospital, so that he could be brought in as quickly as possible, he had to hurt his body hard enough for his brain to stop functioning, but too brutally would be a too big shock to his heart and it would also cease beating. It needed the perfect dose. He found a pillar with an integrated electrical panel, the perfect place. As a member of Squad 3 from the Chicago Fire Department, he knew how to proceed. He drove over a whole block, gaining speed before heading straight for the concrete pillar. By hitting him hard, he felt a brutal pain in his head, then nothing. Totally blackout._

 **End of flashback**

* * *

Matt then awoke with a start, cold sweat dripping from his forehead. His chest burned like never before, he couldn't catch his breath. Instinctively, he placed his right hand on the left side of his rib cage, as if to protect his heart, Kelly's heart. It took him several minutes before fully regaining his senses and controlling his breathing. He didn't dream, it seemed so real. He was now used to deal with these intrusive flashbacks from Kelly's point of view, but he never had such sorts. It was something that Kelly had experienced all alone. This touched him greatly to know that his brother had done all this for him. It touched him to realize that he had chosen to sacrifice his life with Sylvie for himself and his family. But what seemed strange to him was that there was something missing: he hadn't been able to read the letters Kelly had written. Lost in his thoughts, he jumped on hearing his phone ring. He took it in his hand, reading the message that Gabby had sent and smiling at the picture that was with it. It was a puzzle made of foam piece of three different colors, with a name in the middle. He remained still for a few minutes at the sight of Gabby's name for their future daughter, reading his wife's message again. It was not an idea coming from her, it was an idea of Liz, her daughter. He smiled, sending back a message. Gabby and he had not yet discussed it, because of lack of time especially. But he found this name perfect. Kellie. Eliza. Two soul mates who died too early, saving lives. Two heroes. Closing his eyes and making a wish, he wished with all his heart that his daughters would become as strong as them, as heroic. Despite this flashback and this hard time, this message had cheered him up, it had calmed him. He was ready. It was so much ready to go home and be with his girls and be the husband and father whom he had ceased to be for months.


	21. Thank you

Hello everyone, it's been a while! Promised thing, thing due: here is the 21st chapter of this story.

I have to tell you something: there're just a couple chapters left :/ Aw...

But these are the best of the story (I think), and I hope you will follow me until the end of this story ^^

I know I didn't update for nearly two months, but scholarship goes first, and then my hobby (my fanfictions).

Enjoy it ^^

* * *

 **Chapter 21: Thank you**

 _ **Two months later…**_

Matt was anxious, and he had the right to: today, he was coming back home. Finally, after five months in a hospital, then a rehabilitation center. He was highly stressed, because he was afraid, scared to death even, that something would go completely wrong. With the heart transplant, he was still on heavy medications which he would take his whole life, and all he wanted was to take care of his two girls and soon-to-be three. Indeed, Gabby was now a seven-month pregnant woman, and because of her gestational diabetes, she could give birth at any moment. Seven months was the mean labor for women with gestational diabetes. Eliza was waiting this moment so much that, every day when she awoke, she ran into her mom's bedroom to see if her sister was born, which made both Gabby and Matt laugh when she had come to see him and told him. She was too excited to share her bedroom with Kellie, even though her mother had to remind her that her sister wouldn't be in the same bedroom as her for quite a while, at least the time for the baby to do complete nights, which would take a few months at the bare minimum.

Even Matt was excited to have a new girl into his life. He was thankful of Kelly, who decided to sacrifice his life for him, for this little Beany. He still couldn't believe it, and it was a hard process to accept it. He already had a discussion with Gabby about the middle name of Kellie, and they agreed to choose Hallie, in tribute to Matt's first crush and former fiancée who died in his arms in a structure fire about ten years ago. Gabby knew he couldn't forget her, no chance at all. And she accepted it, of course. Because even he couldn't forget her. But today, everything had to be forgotten: sadness, pain, all negative emotions. Because today, Matt was finally coming home to his family, to his wife and his daughter. Gabby wanted everything to be perfect for Matt's arrival. She wanted everything to be clean, and his co-workers had insisted on making a small party to honor his return to his family. But within a few minutes, she had to pick up Matt from the hospital, and nothing was ready, far from it. So, she decided to call Dr. Rhodes to have some extra time.

"This is Dr. Connor Rhodes."

"Doctor, it's Gabby. Dawson. Excuse me for disturbing you, but I would like to ask you something."

"Tell me everything."

"Well, as you can imagine, we're preparing a little party for Matt at home, and... And I'd like to know if it's possible to delay the exit by a few tens of minutes."

"You want me to piss him off? He's already turning around in the room, waiting for you. So, telling him to wait a little longer is suicidal."

"Just... A few minutes, please."

At the other end of the line, she heard Connor grumble and sigh, as if he did not know how to make him wait.

"Very well, I give you thirty minutes, but not more. I'll ask Dr. Rasperg to come and talk to him. I have the feeling that Matt represses all his emotions inwardly."

"As usual, that's Matt."

"But he shouldn't, at least not after what he has experienced."

"I understand. If your doctor... Rasperg, right?"

"Huh."

"Okay, if your Dr. Rasperg can do something for him, then he can. But I can guarantee you one thing: if he is a shrink, he will not appreciate this visit."

With the silence that settled down, she understood unfortunately that Matt wasn't indeed going to like this visit.

"He's a shrink."

"Yep. But he is very good, he was formed by Dr. Charles, and he usually deals with patients undergoing heavy surgeries, especially transplants. As Chicago MED is right next to us, I can bring him up for a little discussion."

"Okay. And, uh... Thanks, for these thirty minutes."

"You're welcome. See you later."

She hung up, resuming her activities as she could while everyone was telling her to rest and take care of herself because of her pregnancy. As for Matt, he was just beginning to prepare his little suitcase, a sign that he was more than ready to leave this place. After several minutes, he heard someone knock and open the door.

"Good morning, Matt."

Casey looked up and stopped the preparation for his suitcase. On the threshold of the door was standing a person whom he had never met before. He wore a blouse, a sign that he was a doctor, but it wasn't an ordinary medical blouse: it was a gray one. Suddenly, like a flash, he remembered a detail. He had already come to the ER and had already seen someone else wear one, a certain Dr. Charles, and he remembered perfectly well that he was a shrink.

"It's not a good time, doctor. I'm getting ready to get away from this hell, and no one will stop me."

"Oh, but I'm not here to stop you. You are fully entitled to leave and finally join your family. I would have just loved... To have a little chat with you before."

The doctor felt in a fraction of a second that questioning look on his shoulders. He invited himself in and sat on one of the plastic chairs, while Matt made an effort to sit on what would soon be his former bed.

"If it's to see how I am... I'm fine, believe me."

"With a new heart, the opposite would have astonished me."

Casey smiled, because the doctor was right.

"I know that physically you are going much better, and that is why you have earned the right to go back home. But I'm here to make sure that mentally you're doing well as well."

Matt was about to answer, opening his mouth, but no sound came out, as if he did not know what to answer.

"It would seem quite logical that you are... I say disoriented, especially after the shock of what happened. Especially when I understood that you literally saw how it all happened."

The flashbacks. Those he normally couldn't have because they didn't come from his past but from Kelly's. So, the shrink was aware?

"I know everything, Matt. But don't worry, this conversation will remain between you and me."

"Okay."

It relieved Matt somewhat, but talking to a psychiatrist didn't please him, even if he had to go through it to get better.

"So, how do you really feel?"

"I... Uh... I don't know," he admitted, surprised.

He really did not know what he was feeling, he was lost in his own feelings, he was turned upside down by all this.

"Maybe you're asking yourself some unusual questions right now? And they pursue you?"

Matt had a question. Well, it was not really a question, it was something that gnawed at him from the inside, slowly. At first, he began to look down at his hands, then his head came down. Maybe it would be good to talk about that? To exteriorize everything instead of keeping it just for him and trying to repress it?

"Uh... Let's just say that... I asked myself a lot about what life would be like without this decision. I mean... If Kelly had not decided to give me his heart, or if ... or if he had not been a match."

The psychologist decided to say nothing, understanding that talking about him and his feelings was already a terrible ordeal for Matt. He preferred listening to him, letting him unpack what he had on his heart.

"If none of this had been done, Kelly and Sylvie would still be together, probably for life. They would probably have had children. And... Gabby... Gabby would surely have aborted after my death and would have taken care of Eliza with the firehouse 51. I don't know."

"You are lost", the shrink confirmed. "Between what life is and what life could have been."

There was no need for words for the doctor to understand Matt's state of mind.

"Many people undergoing a transplant surgery, especially a heart transplant, feel the same way as you. They don't feel really alive. Their body is alive, but it lives by the heart of another, and therefore, they think that they have died, in some way. And they often ask themselves what life would have been without this transplant."

"So... Is that normal?"

"I did not say it was normal, I'm just saying that a lot of people in your case are asking themselves the same questions. You just have to find the answer to your questions."

"And how can I get those answers? By asking myself and answering them by myself?"

"By asking them to someone who should have the answer."

Gabby. That was his first thought. Gabby surely had the answers to the questions he had in mind. The discussion lasted several more minutes, until Gabby arrived and Dr. Rhodes confirmed Matt's discharge. Dr. Rasperg took the opportunity to slip away as the two lovers continued to pack up Matt's baggage.

"I... can I ask you a question?"

Gabby looked up at her husband. She understood that it was something important to him. His gaze seemed lost and sad, as if a part of his mind had been taken away from him.

"Of course", she said, nodding and stopping what she was doing to sit on the bed for a few moments, with Matt beside her.

"Um, it's pretty delicate, actually."

"Matt, we go through this together, as always. So explain to me what bothers you."

Her gaze and mind were calm, as if she was trying to appease the sadness of the man she loved. Finally, he took a deep breath while placing his left hand on the very rounded belly of Gabby, and he spilled everything out.

"What would you have done if... If Kelly had not given me his heart?"

Surprised, Gabby's mouth opened, but no sound came out, as if everything was stuck in her throat. It was a difficult question, one she would never have liked to face. That was the question she feared the most. Because she didn't know what she would have done. But she had to tell him the truth, the whole truth.

"When... When I knew I was expecting another child from you... I panicked. I panicked because... You were in that hospital bed and ... And you were technically dead. I didn't want that child, it was too hard. And then, I prayed. I prayed that the doctors would find you a donor, because if it was the case, we would expand our family, and... And you would have been saved."

As Matt had not really gotten the answer to his question yet, he said nothing to not tense Gabby, perfectly understanding that for her as well it was a very sensitive point. It took her several seconds to recover from this first part of the explanation.

"But... I-in the contrary case... I would have done everything to not have this child."

It was a blow for Matt, but he did not show it. Why was Gabby ready to give up this child?

"Raising Eliza would already have been difficult without you, then... Then another child?"

She shook her head vigorously, desperately trying to wipe away the tears running down her cheeks under Matt's lost gaze.

"I wouldn't have had the strength to raise our two daughters alone, without you by my side, without their father. That would have been far beyond my strength."

He realized that if Kelly had not done this crazy thing, his wife would have put an end to her pregnancy. Because sorrow would have prevailed over the love she bore him.

"You're angry with me, aren't you?"

"What? No!" Matt said in a hurry, proof of his honesty. "Never in my life I would be angry with you."

As Gabby's tears intensified, he decided to get closer, hugging her as hard as he could.

"I understand your choices perfectly, and I respect them. I just wanted to know what life would have been without me, without Kelly's heart."

They stayed like this for several minutes, the time for Gabby to recover from her emotions. Then, they took luggage and left the room, finally. Gabby forced Matt to put on a thick coat because the cold was very impressive, and when they got to the car, they put the luggage in the trunk. As Matt didn't yet have the right to drive, he had to let Gabby drive, which he didn't like because of her seven months of pregnancy. On the way, instead of turning left as usual, Gabby went straight, surprising Matt.

"Where are you taking me? I don't remember that this road is taking us home."

"You will see. We have to go somewhere before we go home."

Matt said nothing more, waiting patiently to arrive safely. When Gabby parked the car, he immediately recognized the place. It was the cemetery, where Leslie Shay was buried. He opened the door of the car, going out in the cold November, looking at the open metal grille of this place he feared.

"Sylvie and Shay's family have agreed to bury Kelly with her", Gabby explained, passing her hands through Matt's back.

He nodded, advancing quietly at his own pace in the aisles, until he stopped on the grave of Kelly, his big brother.

"Your daughter made an incredible speech that day. It was Eliza who made me realize that... That you had to know the truth", Gabby announced calmly.

Matt then remembered the day his wife had told him that the new heart he had inside of him came from Kelly's sacrifice. That day, she was dressed in black, and he remembered a little detail, one he didn't notice at the time: her eyes were red, probably because she had cried shortly before. He quickly realized what it involved.

"It was that day, wasn't it? When you told me the whole truth... You had just buried Kelly?"

"Yes."

The phrase Gabby had spoken a few seconds before hit him.

"Liz made a speech?"

"Yes, uh... At first I didn't want to, but she insisted. You would have been proud of our daughter."

"What did she say?"

"She talked about being afraid for her family, because we were firefighters. She also talked about the history of your scars, and that the one you have on your chest represented all the love that Kelly had for you, but also the fact that you are still there, able to hug her. She also cried because you weren't aware of all this, but she hoped that you would understand that Kelly was not dead, that she had just become your heart beating, stronger than before."

Gabby in fact remembered almost the entirety of her daughter's speech, because it had been so beautiful. And this beauty, Matt had felt it. He couldn't believe it was his own daughter who had told that. And she was right: his heart was still beating in him, for him. He suddenly felt a hand resting on his shoulder, and he turned his head to see Gabby at his side.

"I'll leave you a few minutes, alone. You need it, I think. I'm waiting for you in the car, and then we go back home."

Matt sketched a smile of satisfaction. Go back home. He had been dreaming of it for months, and this was about to happen. He nodded, feeling that he needed to mourn his brother on his grave. He watched as Gabby moved away, remembering the flashback he had had from Kelly coming here shortly before his death, in order to do the same, in order to get the answers to the questions he was asking himself. He turned again to the marble, engraved with his name, years of birth and death, as well as faded flowers laying on it. At first, he said nothing, but he quickly realized that he needed to talk, to put words on his suffering, on his emotions.

"Hey Kelly. I just got out of this damn hospital, so I could only come here now", he said laughing. "I know it may sound strange to talk to a marble, but... But if you can hear me, I wanted to thank you. For what you did. So thank you. Thank you so much. To have saved me, to give me the opportunity to continue my life, to have watched over my family. You were a great brother, the best you could have and dream. I know you do not regret this gesture, I feel it deep inside me. You just have to know that I am proud of you too, I am proud to have shared your life, I am happy to know that your heart beats for me, I know that you will always be there fr me and my family. Thank you."

He remained still for several minutes, until the cold numbed him a little, until he decided to join Gabby to go home. His surprise was great when he noticed the people that were there to welcome him at home with his wife and daughter. With his family.


	22. My savior

Hey there! I am back!

I am sorry, I had a lot of things going on and with my scholarship, I had to choose between my future and my fanfictions... TOUGH CHOICE INDEED ^^

But I am back, and I hope you'll be reading me again :-)

I'm again sorry for this long waiting, but it was worth, trust me.

Please, leave a review after reading this chapter ^^

* * *

Matt woke up, taking the deepest breath he could before daring to open his eyes. A smell of cooking meat had reached his nose, taking him out of his dream. In the confusion of the awakening, he didn't remember where he was, but the heat of the sheets, his blue eyes focusing more on his surroundings helped him to situate himself : the bed, HIS bed, the one he shares with the love of his life. He was home. Home. It was so great to tell himself that he had returned to his family. He smiled, turning his head to the right. The place near him was empty. He took another deep breath, removing the sheets and swinging his legs out of the bed to place his feet on the ground. He straightened, exhaling deeply during the process. He got up, getting dressed with a sweat pants and one of his favorite shirt, one bought by Kelly during a hockey match between the Chicago Blackhawks and the Blues of St-Louis a few years back. It represented Tommy Hawk, the Blackhawks' eagle scaring Louie, the Polar Bear mascot of the Blues. He then left the room, wandering in the corridor to the living room, then the kitchen.

"Daddy!"

Surprised, he took a little step back as Liz came down her chair and ran towards her dad.

"Hey sweetie!"

Matt kneeles to get to Liz's and take her in his arms. She crouched on his neck, squeezing as hard as she could. Eliza was now the happiest little girl in the world since the previous day: her father had come back home, near her mother and her, and soon, there would be her little sister.

"You're too big for me to take your in my arms Liz."

She knew it. Her father had to take all the precautions to keep his hear and body in shape, and it included lots of sacrifices.

"It's okay, I am a big girl now", she reassured him.

They took then their time to have breakfast, the first one together for months, and everybody enjoyed it, especially Liz. While Gabby was doing the dishes, the phone rang, and Matt picked it up.

"This is the Dawsey family."

"Hello, uh... I am talking to Matthew Casey?"

"Uh... Yeah, that's me. Do I know you?"

"No, not at all. That's why I'm calling. Uh... Can we... Can we meet somewhere? I really need to talk to you, face to face."

"I am home, you know? If it's something to do with my alderman job, then I can't talk to you now.

"No, it's nothing to do with that. I just... I just need to talk to you."

Gabby watched him out of the corner of her eye, wondering who might be on the other end. Even Matt hesitated to answer him or talk to him. He did not really know what to answer. What seemed odd to him was that he didn't know this man, but he felt a connection between them, as if he felt attracted to the man on the phone. Curious, he decided to answer.

"Very well."

"Can we do this today? Like... In an hour, to the Starbucks on Wabbash?"

"In an hour, okay. And uh... How we..."

"I will wave at you, I know what you look like."

"Oh. Okay. Then, uh... See you later?"

"Indeed."

He hang up, placing the phone on the table before sighing deeply.

"Who was it, babe?"

"Uh... I don't know. Some guy wishing to talk to me."

"You have to rest, Matt."

"I know, but... I don't know, it was... I think I know this guy, but I don't recognize his voice at all."

"And you want to meet him, just to be sure?"

"We'll meet in a hour. Do you want to come?"

"No. No, I think I'll stay home with Liz. I am too... Everything hurts and my ankles are swollen! I think I will end up on the couch, not moving my ass after then."

"Do you want a little massage? I'm sure you're missing them", he said in a sensual voice.

When he took her in his arms, it was hard for Gabby to resist the urge to jump on him, to kiss him and make love to him like never before. But being pregnant and having too much pain in her back, she just frowned and nodded. Matt immediately noticed her restraint and grief.

"I will make you a bath, it will relieve your pain a little."

He was right. When Gabby was pregnant of Liz and was not far to give birth, a hot bath helped her to relax and lessen the pain in her back. It really worried him, and he wanted to turn this meeting as quick as possible to come back and stay with his wife. He kissed her on her forehead before going to the bathroom and make a bath for her. He came back to help her come a few minutes later, in case she needed help. It pleased Gabby to know that Matt was home now. They could now take care of their daughter together, they could share tasks, even if it took more time for Matt to do them. His heart was still fragile. After making sure Gabby was not going to need his help, he kissed her daughter on the forehead, promising to come back very quickly, and left for his appointment. Fortunately, he had been allowed to use his car again, and he took the road very quickly. After about ten minutes, he parked his pickup in the only place he could find by chance, and entered the starbucks. A man waved at him, Matt headed towards hum. He was barely thirty years old in appearance. His hair, woven in dreadlocks, was falling in the middle of his arms, and his eyes had a very pronounced green. This was one of the first things Matt noticed when he approached him. When he reached the table, he sat down, realizing that he was slightly out of breath. It happened from time to time, and in such cases he restricted his activities to a minimum, as the doctors at his bedside had advised him.

"My name is Elias. I don't know you, and you don't know me. But we have something in common."

Matt didn't tell anything, his right eyebrow was dong the job for him by raising, proof of his perplexity. He was waiting for explanations.

"Do you know someone called... Kelly Severide?"

Nervous, he swallowed hard. This name always sent him a wave of immense sadness, and he forced himself each time to shed a tear.

"Uh... He's my brother", he admitted.

Of course, it wasn't the case. Or rather, no longer the case At least, not like everyone could understand it. Matt looked down, he didn't want the man in front of him to see this tear in the corner of his eye, waiting to roll down his cheek, he didn't want him to see his intense emotional state.

"I owe him my life."

"That's why I wanted to meet you", Matt heard. "I also owe him my life."

But Matt didn't understand what he meant. Who was this man in front of him.

"Couple months ago, after a very long wait, one of your brother's kidney had been transplanted in me."

Matt's eyes widened, and he raised his head to see Elias. How did he know the name of Kelly when the transplant was supposed to be anonymous? But before he could say anything, he understood the question asked.

"I know the donation for a transplant is anonymous, but I wanted to express my gratitude to him. As a private detective, I searched my savior. I am B positive with a specific marker, so I crossed all the possible and imaginable data base, and... This brought me here, in Chicago."

Matt still said nothing, in shock. His heart beating a hundred miles an hour, he didn't know whether having any admiration for that man or being angry at him. Elias was almost flouting Kelly's name in front of him. But he said nothing, he showed no emotion. He just stared at him blankly, asking him, without any noise or word, to continue.

"I... I just know you had one of his organs as well, and I don't know anything else. But I never could have had an opportunity to talk to him to thank him in person."

"And that will never happen", Matt sneered.

It was his second words since he arrived in the Starbucks. He didn't really mean that, he didn't mean anything at all, but those words had completely escaped him. Elias suddenly took a surprised look, as if he didn't expect a reply from Matt, or simply by the coldness of his words.

"I understand. I understand you don't want me to meet him. A donor must remain anonymous after all."

Without being noticed, Matt smiled from the corner of his mouth. Elias had not understood the real meaning of his sentence.

"Just by... Curiosity... You got something from him, did not you? What did he give you?"

Matt couldn't help but to laugh. He burst out laughing, turning the whole restaurant around, but he didn't care.

"For a private detective, you're not smart."

This time it was Elias's turn to be silent and let Matt speak, to say what he had on his heart.

"If you had really searched your information, you would have seen that the day of your transplant and the day of mine are matching. You would have had a little extra mind, you might have found it weird for two people to receive two organs from the same patient the same day. And if you had been smart, you might have guessed that a person making a multiple organ donation is a dead person."

Matt was close to the explosion, while Elias's eyes widened. He hadn't really struck that the blond man in front of him had been transplanted the same day as him. He should have noticed it, he should have guessed it meant that this Kelly Severide he so much desired to meet was actually dead the day he received his kidney. He didn't know what to say or what to do. He had just understood the situation from A to Z, from that moment when he had brought Kelly's subject to the table. He understood now: this man in front of him was in mourning, the mourning of his brother.

"I... I-I'm sorry, I-I..."

He really didn't know what to say. The situation made him uncomfortable now, he felt guilty, as if he had killed his savior with his hands.

"Why did you want to know Kelly so much? Because you have a part of him in you, you think you can come into his life?"

"No, that's not it", Elias interrupted, increasing Matt's anger. "I... I sometimes have dream."

With this admission, Matt was silent. Dream? Was it the same thing with him? Did he see the same things as he did?

"That's pretty, uh... Confused actually. It's like... As if I were in another body than mine, with feelings other than mine."

Matt's breathing almost stopped. He had had such dreams as well. Incredulous, he sat down quietly again, his head full of questions. What was he dreaming about? What was he thinking? What were the feelings that gripped him at the time of these dreams?

"Most of the time, I see you, and... It's as if... A weight automatically retreated from my chest, as if... As if it relieved me while I don't know you."

Matt smirked, the sensations and feelings that inhabited him were weird. It was good to talk about Kelly with someone who seemed to know him as well, but embarrassing at the same time to know that the person in front of him also knew him. This man was there for answers, to find out why this happened to him. He had a right to know Kelly's story. His best friend, his brother. His savior.

"Kelly... Kelly wasn't really my brother. But we were very close. We met at the Firefighter Academy, and we have never left each other since. He is... He is the godfather of my first daughter."

"Eliza, isn't it? Kelly seemed to love her a lot. His Princess."

His Princess. That was how Kelly called Liz, and only the firehouse, Gabby and he knew about it. This proved that Elias knew this information only through Kelly's memories. It was terrifying and impressive at the same time.

"That scares you, isn't it? To see a stranger here and say that he knows you almost by heart through our common donor."

"I'm not afraid, it's just that... Kelly was... Very important to me. To be honest with you, even today, I find it hard to accept that he's gone."

"I totally understand."

There was a brief silence despite of the hubbub of the restaurant. The two men had so many questions, especially Elias, but no one knew where to start.

"I-uh... I don't want to sound monstrous, but... I'd like to know why. Why did he choose to sacrifice his life for... You?"

Matt was expecting this question, it was as if he had prepared himself for it. He had wondered for a long time as well.

"Two months before the transplant, we were on a call and... We arrived in the middle of a gang war. Kelly was going to get shot, and... My body reacted without me controlling it. I took the ball in his place, it passed through my heart and lodged in his shoulder. I was literally died. My heart was no longer beating, but... I don't know why, but the doctors decided to put me on the transplant list."

"I understand. Kelly was a match..."

"He was, but having been wounded, his body had to heal and recover."

At least, he had retained what had been told him in the hospital. That was a good thing.

"And to be honest, he wanted physicians to find a donor within two months. He waited for the last moment to do it."

"But... What motivated him? I mean... You were already dead, weren't you? No offense."

"I don't feel offended, far from it. Let's say that... The fact that he should have taken this bullet has motivated him a lot. And... And also the fact that my wife, his best friend, discovered that she was pregnant with our second child. He didn't want our family to get destroyed."

"It's a very noble gesture from your brother", Elias commented. "If you had the possibility of going back through time, of... Going back to the time of this shooting and making different choices... You would?"

Make different choices. Were there others? Let Kelly die? And if he had not intervened, would the man continue to fire on other firemen? On him ?

"Never", Matt explained, very sure of himself. "I am proud of what I did to save Kelly, and I am proud of having such a benevolent brother. We both sacrificed our life for each other. There is no greater proof of love between two brothers than mutual sacrifice. I'm proud of him and what he did to me. And I want to love life for him."

* * *

At home, Gabby still had a pain in her back, as if she were pricked thousands of times with a needle. It had almost become unbearable. She had gone out of the bath, taking her time to get dressed in a sweat pants she now used to wear and a simple tank top. She didn't want to get any more hurt as it was hurting everywhere. Coming back to the main room, she stopped abruptly near the sofa, a sharp pain interrupting her in the stomach. Liz was there too, drawing something for her father. Hearing her mother's slight growls, she turned, but her eyes lowered very quickly, and her eyes widened.

"Mama? What is that? Did you pee?"

Gabby's gaze stooped gently, until she could see her belly. She could see nothing below, but her sensations couldn't deceive her. She felt something flowing down her legs, gently but surely. The sensations of pain in the back, the impossibility of relaxing, the sickness, his swollen ankles. And now that. She knew what was happening to her, and she was not ready for it. Not now. She forced herself, however, to smile, leaning heavily on the back of the sofa next to her while raising her head towards her daughter, who had an anxious look.

"It's not Liz, I promise", she explained under Liz's surprised eye as she began to laugh. "Your little sister is ready."


	23. Scared to death

Hello everyone! Three months without updating this story, what a shame lol

It will be hard for me to keep this rhythm of updates and writing: As my scholarship is over, I have to start working, so... Less time to write, BUT I'll do my best to update as soon as I can ^^

For now, enjoy this short chapter and leave me some reviews after having read :D

* * *

 **Chapter 23: Scared to death**

Gabby was trying to keep her calm, at least from the outside. Deep down, she was panicking. She didn't want to inflict this to her own girl, it wasn't right. Instinctively, she placed her left hand on her belly, caressing it tenderly, scattered between the joy to finally see her new daughter and the distress to see her two months early. And without her husband by her side. Slowly, she turned her head towards her daughter Eliza, and forced a smile again. She could feel her emotions, a mix of delight and distress. She just was six years old, but she was smart so far: her baby sister wasn't expected today.

"Liz, honey. Do you remember the baggage we have prepared last week for Kellie?" Gabby asked with a broken voice, her face marked by a deaf pain.

Unable to talk, the little blond hair nodded, in shock and watching her mother cautiously.

"Would you bring it here for me, please?"

From her nearly four feet high, Eliza remained frozen for several seconds before finally heading to the bedroom of her parents to take the bag and bring it to her mom. Meanwhile, Gabby took her phone and sat as comfortably as possible on the padded couch in order to dial 911.

"911, what's your emergency?"

"Uh… I think I'm about to give birth."

"Okay, I'll send an ambulance to you as soon as possible. Do you have contractions?"

"Uh… Yes, I have… I think so."

She was a paramedic, she was a firefighter, but now, she was just a pregnant woman giving birth. She was panicking, she didn't know what to do. She was vulnerable.

"Do you know when they started?"

The question from the man on the other side of the phone brought her back to reality. She shook slightly her head in order to focus again.

"Uh… I think…. I think they started this morning while waking up. It was… Four hours ago?"

"You didn't suspect anything before?"

"No!" Gabby almost cut him off, trying desperately to regain control of her emotions. "I already had contractions before, and they didn't look like contractions. It was simple back pain…"

"Ma'am, back pain can be a sign of early labor without having contractions. Especially if it's not your due time. How far along you are?"

"Thirty-one. I am thirty-one-week pregnant. It's too soon!"

A violent pain seized her lower abdomen as if someone was twisting it violently in all directions. She did her best to not screaming in pain, closing her eyes to not be heard by her daughter. But it was too late, Eliza had come back from the bedroom, dragging the bag behind her, she had seen how her mother was twisting painfully on the sofa. It only lasted a few tens of seconds, but it was really very intense. And very impressive to see for Liz.

"Ma'am, you're still there?"

"Yeah, uh… Contraction."

"When was your last one?"

"Well… If I add back pain to the list… I would say… Less than ten minutes?"

A long silence settled. Gabby knew exactly what it meant. If these back pain indicated contractions she didn't want to notice, it meant that labor had begun four hours ago. And less than ten minutes between contractions also meant that the dilation phase was coming to an end.

"Alright, you will try to relax, okay? The ambulance is on its way."

"Damn, I helped women give birth, hundreds of them even! I do this all this the time, I know what to do by heart, and I can't relax!"

"Don't panic ma'am, take some big breaths, it'll ease the pain. Do you have someone with you?"

"My daughter, Liz. She's six."

"Can I talk to her?"

"Liz, honey, come here."

But Eliza didn't move an inch, she was terrified. She had never seen her mother overcome great pain, not even when her father was between life and death, not even when her godfather had taken his own life to save him. Never. And that was enough to freeze the blood flowing in her veins.

"Everything is okay, sweetie, I promise. It's all okay."

For the first time in nearly five minutes, Eliza opened her mouth.

"Did you get that when I was born?" She asked her mother in a trembling voice as she was about to cry.

All this surpassed her, she was too young to understand everything, and she had never experienced it. Gabby didn't stop smiling at her daughter, asking her to come closer again.

"Yes, but I told you, it's normal. Kellie is trying to... To push on her small legs to get out of my stomach. Everything will be over when she'll be out, I promise you."

"And... And it lasts a long time?"

"Uh... Not anymore, I swear. I know this must frighten you, and I understand, but the man on the phone needs to talk to you, okay?"

Remaining as calm as possible, she wiped the edge of Eliza's eyes so that tears would not flow over her cheeks. She handed her her phone and put the speaker on so that Liz could listen to what the man had to say.

"Hello Liz, how are you, sweetie?"

The voice of the man at the other end of the phone was much softer than before. He knew, from Gabby's assertion, that he had to deal with a child, and the best way to appease a child was to talk quietly to him.

"I'm afraid for Mom..."

"I know honey, but I'm going to ask you to be very brave for your mother, because the time for the paramedics to come, you'll have to take care of her, okay?"

"Okay...", she said between two sobs.

Her fear of seeing her mother's suffering was freezing her, she could not help it, it was stronger than anything.

"What do I have to do?"

"I want you to be as calm as possible first. I know you're scared, but right now, Mom needs you, you know?"

"Huh."

Eliza swallowed hard and took the time necessary to regain her composure. She had realized that the time for the paramedics to come and look after her mother, it was on her to take care of her. She had to get there. Her little sister was on her way, and she was ready to finally meet her. So, she passed the back of her hands at the level of her eyes to wipe away all those tears that had flowed despite her mother's attention, taking a deep breath to calm down. This was not yet the case, but at least she was ready to help her mother as best she could.

"I have to do what?"

"You have to be ready to help her and give her what she asks for, okay? Water, food, whatever. Your little brother or your little sister will ask your mother a lot of energy."

"Kellie."

A silence of a few seconds settled before Liz expressed more what she meant by that.

"My little sister's name is Kellie."

"It's a magnificent name! Is your mom still here?"

"Yes, I'm here", she said before another contraction came to haunt her and still use all her strength.

This one was really powerful, even more than those she had had for her first daughter. It was as if they were stabbing her in her stomach, stirring it, and tearing her insides. This time, she couldn't restrain her cried. These latter resounded in the large living room, making Liz cry more.

"What's going on with Mom!"

"Liz, your mom has already explained this to you. It's your little sister who pushes on her feet to get out."

"But it hurts mama!"

"I know darling, I know. But when she is born, everything will go much better, I can promise you."

The contraction stopped suddenly after forty seconds, delivering Gabby on the same occasion, which finally could breathe again correctly. Barely six minutes had passed since the last contraction.

"Where's the damn ambulance?" Gabby exclaimed without paying attention to what she was saying and with whom she was.

"I'll call them back to find out where they are. Liz, take care of your mother while waiting, okay?"

"OK."

Passing her left hand over her stomach again, she hardly put her head on one of the sofa's headrests to relax a bit. She was already exhausted, she was hungry, she was thirsty, she was in pain.

"Liz, can you... Can you bring some water please?"

The little girl rushed to the kitchen, climbing onto a chair to grab a glass and put it on the countertop, then fill it with fresh water. She then brought it to her mother, who nearly drank it in one shot. By the time the paramedics arrived, she had to do everything to make her mother feel as good as possible. She understood that the contractions were not going to stop, quite the contrary, but she had to be there for her mother, for Kellie. She then searched in the closets for snacks for her mother. She took the first thing she found and emptied it on a plate before putting it on the small table in the living room.

"What about daddy?"

Gabby opened her eyes wide. With all this fuss, she had forgotten to call her husband, the father of Liz and Kellie. She sighed, calculating in her head that a new contraction would happen in the seconds to follow.

"Remember his number?"

Liz shook her head negatively. She was too panicked to remember it. She took the telephone, and repositioned herself near her mother, in order to have her father's number. She dialed the number she dictated to her, and after three rings her father picked up.

"This is Matt Casey."

"Dad, you have to come back!"

"Liz? What's going on?!"

"Kellie is coming!"

"Oh God, I'm here as fast as possible."

He hung up, apologizing to Elias and explaining the situation before getting back in his pick-up and driving back home. Unfortunately, a gigantic traffic jam blocked the main arteries of the city. The fact that people came out of work and that it was Friday made traffic difficult. And yet, there was no time to lose: his wife was going to give birth to their second child, their second daughter. No hesitation, he had no right to ruin this moment. He parked his car in double file, not caring about a possible verbal statement or whatever, what mattered was Gabby, it was Liz, it was Kellie's birth. He abandoned his car without putting his fires on, locked the doors and left without paying attention, causing drivers to get hungry immediately. He almost ran away, heading for the house. He was sure that if his wife was in the ambulance, she would have asked their daughter to call him back, and he would have taken the subway to the hospital, but that wasn't the case. With this monster traffic jam, even the ambulance had to be stuck. How did Gabby was handling the situation? What about Eliza? Did she succeed in keeping her composure? Was she paralyzed by what she saw and heard? A lot of questions were in his head, and she had no answer for the moment. What was important was to arrive at the house in order to welcome Kellie together, as a united family. Even though his health was still very fragile and the doctors had not yet authorized him to run, this unique moment was worth it. Life had given him the chance to have a second daughter, and he wouldn't miss it.


	24. 5th, January

Hello everyone! HAPPY NEW YEAR! It's been a while, isn't it? ALRIGHT, I haven't updated this story for a long time, about six months, but I needed THE perfect date to do so. Today (5th, January) is a good day for me and for this story; it's been eleven years since my father died, and this date means a lot for the Dawsey family as well (you will see why at the end of this chapter).

Plus, I had a job somewhere, where I've met some beautiful people. One was American, another one was German and the two others were Italian. We have daily spoken in English, and I think that it helped me with my English (well, I hope so). This chapter is really special for the previous reason, but also because for the first time, I had more inspiration in English than in French, my mother tongue! Usually, I write in French and then I translate into English, but today... I had no inspiration in French. But in English, it burst my brain lol

Basically, I have written the story in English, and THEN I have translated into French!

I trully hope you will fall in love with this chapter. And I surely have to tell you something; I have written it with all my heart.

ENJOY!

* * *

 **Chater 24: 5th, January**

Poor Eliza. She was only seven and she had to handle such a situation. Gabby couldn't do anything to appease her. Her hands were trembling, her fingers squeezing tightly the phone. She was far too young for all this, but there was no possible another way. Gabby could feel the contractions becoming longer and stronger. Twenty minutes had passed since they had called for an ambulance, but she was stuck at home because there was a traffic jam in town. It didn't shock her; Friday afternoon, after people were out of work, she didn't expect less. Kellie really had chosen her moment to come. Nervously, she started laughing; thinking about it, Kelly had these coordination problems too.

"Mama, you okay?"

The voice of her daughter brought her back into reality. She raised her head and opened her eyes, meeting Liz's gaze and the big tears running down her cheeks.

"I am okay, don't worry", she assured. "I was thinking about Kelly and his timing", she added, laughing.

Liz laughed in turn. She knew it and she would probably remember that for the rest of her life; her uncle and godfather always arrived home with a very bad timing, or he wasn't available when they needed him. It was the same with her baby sister; bad timing and all.

Sweat was profusely streaming down Gabby's forehead. Her entire body was traveled by painful and intense spasms, a heat wave invading her the more time passed. She had closed the brown eyes, trying calmly and silently to counter a new contraction while Liz remained paralyzed. But strangely, the little girl didn't remain frozen for long; she shook her head, noticing the pain in her mother's face, then ran beside her, taking a small towel to wipe away the sweat and help her to get through this. She didn't really know what to do, but she decided to trust her instinct. Delicately, she passed the humidified towel on her mom's cheeks and on her forehead. Inwardly, she was panicking. Who wouldn't at her age! But outwardly, she tried to keep a steady face. She had to. For her mother. For Kellie. They both needed her; she had no right to break down.

* * *

Matt was still running. Endlessly, without stopping. He could hear and feel his heart beating a mile an hour inside his chest. The latter was tightening at a regular rhythm, sending pain stimuli to his brain, but he didn't want to take them into account. All he could think right now was about his wife about to give birth. He could support any pain in the world if it meant assisting to his daughter's birth. He had missed almost nine months of his life, stuck in a bed, maintained alive by machines and in rehab to strengthen his new heart, he had missed the long road Gabby had to use along her pregnancy, and he was blaming himself for that. It was out of the question to miss the birth. His frenetic course was leaving him breathless, his lungs were out of air despite his rapid breathing, and he knew that the pain running through his body came from the lack of oxygen in the 639 muscles composing it, the same lack blurring his vision more with time. He was not far from home, he knew it, which gave him the courage to continue. But he also knew that he has to stop immediately; if he didn't and his heart stopped for good because of that, Kelly wouldn't never ever forgive him. He allowed himself a break, thinking about Gabby and his daughter Eliza. And his other daughter Kellie. He prayed that she was not born yet. People stopped, seeing him completely out of breath, asking him if he was okay because his complexion was pale and he seemed about to pass out. And he didn't have the strength to answer. His heart kept beating furiously in his chest cavity, hitting his ribs on the process to show him that he was still alive. He took two to three minutes to regain control of his breathing and to calm his heartbeat with breathing techniques he had learned during his rehab. And when it was done, he continued on his way, resuming his frantic race.

* * *

"Oh God", Gabby screamed, startling her daughter facing her.

The latter began to panic with these sudden words.

"Mama, what's going on!"

"Kellie is coming!"

"W-what? B-but... I-I don't understand!" the young girl stammered.

"She's going to get out."

Gabby then took deep breaths while with her trembling hands, Eliza was trying to dial 911 again. After numerous vain attempts, she managed to hit the proper numbers while staring at her mother and put the speaker on.

"911, what is your emergency?" a woman's voice said.

Obviously not the man she had talked to.

"Where is the ambulance you've sent for us!" Liz exclaimed, to her own astonishment. "My mom is going to give birth and I don't know what to do!" she admitted.

"Easy, easy honey... What is your name?"

"Liz. Where is the ambulance!"

"Uh... ambo 173 is jammed", she answered after a quick research on her computer. "One of the paramedics is on his way on foot to assist you the time to unjam the ambulance."

The conversation was cut off by Gabby's scream, who struggled with the pain running through her body and particularly her lower belly. She knew what to do, she knew how Liz could help her, but she could not put words on everything she felt and wanted to say. Her brain was concentrated only on one task; give birth to her daughter, possibly in good health.

"Alright, Liz. Someone else is going to talk to you okay?"

"Okay, okay", she tried to remain as calm as possible.

"Hello, Liz. We've talked on the phone earlier." a male voice said after some noiseless seconds.

Indeed, it was the man who had talked with her the first time she had called 911.

"What am I supposed to do? I don't know what to do!"

She was panicking now. Seven years old was too young to handle such a situation. But she had to. She restrained her tears, trying to take a deep breath while the man on the other end of the phone was giving instructions.

"Okay, Liz. I want you to remain as brave as you were on the phone a couple minutes ago, can you do that?" he asked her with a gentle tone.

Another deep breath and she answered that she could do it.

"Good. I want you to grab the clean and warm towel, you know? The one you put on the heater as I asked you earlier?"

"The heater, yeah... I can do that."

She got up, leaving her mother alone for several seconds before coming back to her with the towel in hand.

"I got it."

"Okay, I want you to put it under mommy's thighs, on the ground. It's to put your sister on when she will be out, do you understand?"

"Yeah, yeah, I understand. Under mama's thighs, for Kellie."

She did so, her trembling hands not helping her as Gabby could only watch her amazing daughter doing all the job. The latter pushed some strands of hair out of her face, attaching them in a ponytail. She could feel her forehead becoming sweety with seconds.

"What now?"

"Did you wash your hands? It is very, very important. You could give some sickness to Kellie, and you don't want that right?"

"No. Uh... I have a... A kind of hand sanitizer, is it good enough?"

"Yeah, it's very good. Can you give me your mommy as you do so?"

"The speaker is on", she said as she uncapped the bottle to sterilize her hands.

"Hello, ma'am. How are you holding up?"

"I uh... I just want it to be over, but... But I can't do that with my husband, you know?"

"Where is your husband right now?"

"He's on his way home, but if there is a traffic jam, he must be inside as well!" she said between two contractions. "He's not allowed to run long distance for now. He won't be there in time, and I don't want to give birth without him!"

"Easy, easy ma'am. I perfectly understand the fact that you want your husband near you by now, but if your daughter is really on her way out, you know what's going to happen right? You told me that you already helped women in giving birth, didn't you?"

"Yeah, yeah! I am a... A former paramedic, I am a firefighter, firehouse 51."

"Oh..."

The man seemed surprised. But Gabby knew; her firehouse had a really good appreciation amongst the firefighter and paramedic network in Chicago.

"Alright, I am ready!" Liz said after a long silence.

"Okay, Liz. I want you to tell me what do you see between mommy's thighs. It's very important, okay?"

Eliza took a deep breath, nodding without uttering a word. Gabby spread her legs; a voice inside her head telling her that her own daughter shouldn't see what was going on. But she had no other choice right now; Liz had to do it the time for the paramedic to come here, and it might take some time.

"Uh... I can see the top of the head, but... It's not coming out!"

"Liz, I want you to stay calm, alright? Your mom is going to push when she will feel a contraction okay? When so, I want you to catch your sister's head when it's out."

"Catch... I won't hurt her or mama?"

"Not at all. You will tell me everything you see, okay? Usually, babies come out with the face facing the ground."

"Okay. Okay. When the head is out, I grab it with my hands, after then?"

"One step at the time, Liz. I will tell you what to do after that."

Nodding again, she prepared herself for helping her mom in the process. Her hands were still trembling, she was still restraining the tears to run on her wot and red cheeks, her heart pounding on her chest. Another contraction seized Gabby, and she blocked her breathing, pushing harder as she always recommended to the women she assisted to give birth. Thirty seconds passed, but Kellie's head wasn't out yet.

"The head is not coming!" Eliza screamed, panicking once again.

Nobody could blame her after all. Gabby could see her struggling with her emotions, she knew she was ready to cry, but didn't want to because she had to do anything to be able to help her.

"What day it is today?" Gabby asked in a whisper, her face sweating profusely.

"5th, January."

At the same time, the two girls shared a look, not daring to breathe for a second. This couldn't be.

"What is it? Is there a problem?" the man on the phone asked when he stopped hearing a sound from the other end.

"No, not at all. It's just... It means a lot to us", Eliza explained without adding details.

Another cramp paralyzed Gabby, and she pushed again for another thirty seconds. This time, the head came out, and soon, Liz grabbed it.

"I got the head! What's next!"

"Okay, I want you to gently and carefully turn her head to your left with the next contraction, can you do that?"

"I'm gonna hurt my sister!"

"No, you're not. Listen to me, if you don't pull on her head, you won't hurt her. This will help your mom to deliver Kellie faster. If you turn her head to your left when your mommy will push, it'll help them a lot. Both your mom and your baby sister."

Eliza muttered silently, taking some deep breaths and exhaling as calmly as possible, her heart still pounding in her chest as she still had her hands on Kellie's head. She now had to wait for another contraction to turn her head toward the right thigh of her mom to help her and her beloved sister. She couldn't wipe away the sweat on her face, but she didn't care. She had to stay brave and focus. A minute later or two, she did have another one, and she kept pushing, this time with breathing along with the two-three pushes she gave. So, Liz placed Kellie's head on her right, her own left, until her head was parallel to the ground.

"Done! What about now?"

"With the next following pushes, Kellie's shoulders should come out. When done, you will have to get her out completely. You will have to very gently pull her towards you."

"You said I shouldn't do it not five minutes ago!"

"I know, Liz, I know. But when the shoulders are out, the baby can come out easier, you understand?"

"Uh... Pull her towards me, when her shoulders are out."

"Liz, honey, you can do it. I trust you, alright?" Gabby managed to say to her daughter while breathing deeply, waiting for the next cramp. "You're actually doing a very good job, sweetheart."

These words from her mother gave her some kind of supplemental strength, and she pulled herself together. She swallowed hard, focusing back on her duty with Kellie.

"I will give you the biggest push I've ever given you so that you would be able to deliver your baby sister. Okay?"

"Okay", she said, nodding to your mom.

"The paramedic is not far away from us. He's about five minutes out."

But the two girls weren't listening to the 911 operator. They were too concentrated on one thing: giving birth to Kellie, together.

They waited for the next contraction to seize Gabby before doing their respective jobs: the mother was giving her best push, screaming out loud and keeping her eyes shut while doing so, Eliza puling very carefully her sister towards her as she was asked to.

* * *

Matt could see his house in front of him. His whole body was sweating so much that his clothes were soaked. His vision was even more blurry than previously, his breathing seemed out of control and his heart had seemingly reached his breaking point. His hand resting on one of the walls, he took a deep breath and started walking toward the threshold. Opening the door, all he could hear was the screams of his wife. Worried, he didn't even close the door and burst inside, hurrying to the living room. He stopped, his eyes wide open. His heart kind of stopped by the sight. Gabby was on the ground, screaming out loud, his daughter between himself and his wife. What was happening? His brain couldn't focus on anything and couldn't think properly as tons of information saturated his senses. And then... A cry. A tiny cry. And the scream he heard coming from his wife changed into a giant laugh as he remained frozen. He could hear someone talking, a male voice, but he didn't know where it was coming from. He could hear him asking Liz to put her on the heated towel and wrap her in before giving her to her mom. And the information hit him: Kellie was born. And the best part was that it appeared that Liz was the one who just delivered her baby sister. His three girls were laughing or crying, probably both for Gabby and Eliza. He could even feel tears streaming down his own cheeks as he approached his left hand to his lips, amazed and speechless. Liz then turned; she had heard the door open. And seeing her dad in such a shock worried her, but she smiled anyway while passing her forearm on her forehead to wipe out the sweat. She was proud of herself. Finally, Matt could move again and approached his family. He sat down next to his wife, passing his arm behind her neck and placing his hand on Kellie's head. As soon as Liz made him clean them up with the sanitizer, of course! He smiled, laughing and kissing his wife lovingly. His newborn daughter had some kind of black hair, and when she opened her small eyes for a second, they could perceive night blue eyes. It hit both parents; she looked so much like a baby Kelly. And today was the fifth of January; Kelly's birthday. This couldn't be possible. Either it was all a coincidence, or it was a message from Heaven. Matt had his eyes completely wet, thinking back to his brother. He couldn't even dream about such a perfect gift. He raised his head, looking at the ceiling as if he could see through it and look at the sky, whispering something.

"Happy birthday, Kelly."


	25. My dear brother

Hello everybody! So, I have some great news: my fics will no longer contain any mistakes at all (I hope so) - let me explain; I do have a beta-reader now, who did an amazing job by the way, and she helps me a lot, sometimes even completing some stuffs here and there. So, as I said, there should be no mistakes from now on.

This is the penultimate chapter of this sequel, and I hope you really liked this story. One more chapter after this one, and MAYBE, I'll do an OS collection about the Casey family. I don't know yet. Let me know if you want this, maybe your wishes and pieces of advice can help me to do it?

Anyway, enjoy this last but one chapter, and let me know your thoughts about it in a review ^^

* * *

 **Chapter 25: my dear brother**

 **Couple months later...**

Today marked a year since Kelly had sacrificed his life to save Matt. And although it was still very hard for everyone, the crew from firehouse 51 had decided to celebrate this day rather than mourn, an anniversary of sorts: Matt's new life, the one his brother _not of blood but of heart_ had given to him. And it was even harder for Brett. She was happy to see Matt enjoying life, but she lost her beloved. She was taking it day by day, telling herself that Kelly did the right thing, what his heart had told him to do. He had desired so much to repair what he was calling his mistake, meaning letting Matt take this bullet instead of him when the shooting began, and it was comforting to her to know that Kelly wasn't going to live with regrets, feeling guilty to not be able to save Matt's life while he could. He did the right thing, the only thing he could do: save his brother. All the members of Firehouse 51 and their families had gathered at Molly's, preparing to raise a glass in honour of their fallen brother and to celebrate life. Gabby tried to calm her nerves by tending behind the bar, hoping that by ensuring that, everyone had a drink in their hands, her churning stomach would eventually settle. She knew that nothing would be the same once she handed the crisp white envelope that she had been entrusted with to the love of her life. For months now, she'd had the letter sent to her by Kelly, remembering the time that Boden had made the entire house write a letter to their loved ones in case the worst thing happened and they didn't make it home, such was the risk of a first responder, Matt's name written in Kelly's signature scrawl. Gabby had held onto the letter wanting Matt to recover fully before giving it to him, not wanting for anything to set his recovery back. Gabby walked around the bar and over to where Matt was standing with Herrmann, Mouch and Boden, drinks in hand and quietly talking. Gabby held the letter in her right hand as she gently rubbed Matt's shoulder. Matt turned and faced his wife with a gentle smile, the smile that she loved. Gabby raised her hand holding the letter.

"Baby, this is for you", she gently said, although it was loud enough to stop all the chatter in the bar.

Puzzled, he took the envelope and opened it. He knew the scrawl right away and the breath he was holding came out in an audible gasp. He looked straight to the bottom of the page and saw Kelly's signature. He looked up at his wife and friend's tears glistening in his eyes.

"What is it, Casey?" Herrmann asked, looking at the man he considered his surrogate son.

Matt looked down at the letter again. He couldn't believe it.

"It's… It's a… Letter from Kelly", Matt replied, his voice rough with emotion.

The entire bar was silent, the silence was deafening while all eyes were on Matt. If anyone had walked through the door at that moment, they would have thought that someone had hit pause, people were standing motionless, some with glasses raised halfway to their mouths, some people slack jawed, all with eyes on one man holding an envelope and a letter. With a trembling voice Matt looked to his wife.

"When… Where… What…", he asked, confused

Gabby took a deep breath.

"When you had your transplant surgery. Kelly sent this letter to me to give to you, but I held onto it until it was the right time, when you were ready, really ready to see what Kelly had written."

Matt looked at his wife, the love of his life, the woman who knew him better than himself most of the time. He felt the love she had for both him and the man who had decided that he was not just a co-worker and friend but a true brother. Matt looked down at the letter in his slightly trembling hand.

"Son, Kelly could have written to anyone but he decided to write to you, and he knew that he was not only your brother in arms but your brother of heart. We can't choose who comes into our lives and who leaves but we can choose what we do for them and how we love them, Kelly loved you as a friend, a co-worker and more importantly as a brother", Boden quietly spoke to Matt encouraging him in a way that no-one else could.

Matt knew that he would have to face the words that Kelly had written him, and he felt that everyone else deserved to know as well. Kelly was loved and respected by everyone in the room and all missed him, and the presence that he'd had in their lives. With a strength he didn't know, he started to read aloud the words that his dearest friend and brother had written him.

 _Dear Matt,_

 _If you are reading this, then I did my job properly. I know you will have the hardest time dealing with what had happened to me._

 _Matt, I know you; you are probably blaming yourself for what happened, but brother, it is not_ _your fault. Shit happens and you can't out run fate for forever. We have worked side by side,_ _through disaster, fire and flame. And you have become my brother, maybe not of blood but of_ _friendship and heart, and don't roll your eyes at that._

 _Matt, I know you remember the promise that you, Andy and I made back in the early days: always protect each other, and no matter what we had each other's backs through thick and thin. Matt, remember the day of the shooting. I know you do, it is not something that you could forget but then again, you were kind of injured and unconscious. That day, you saved my life, but you were hurt so much and there was so much blood I wanted to do anything I could to help save you. Sylvie had to explain to me what would have to happen to save you, a heart transplant was the only option. That is when I had an idea: I got tested to see if I was a match._

Matt paused when the realisation dawned on him; Kelly was willing to sacrifice his own life so that he could have lived, and that was when he knew he would have done the same thing if Kelly was injured and he could have helped in any way. He swallowed deeply and wiped his eyes with the hand not holding the letter. He continued to read aloud.

 _I got tested just to see if I could help in any way, the results came in and I was an 87% match to you. I knew what I had to do, I needed you to have my heart._

 _The day of the shooting, you saved me by sacrificing yourself and you had kept your promise, the pact we made together so long ago. Now, it is my time to do the same. Matt, you have to live life to the fullest, love to the fullest and laugh when you can. You deserve to live my brother and make sure that it is full, you belong to your wife and your children, give them the love and life that we never had growing up. Please, take this gift and never look back. And remember: I will ALWAYS have your back brother._

 _Kelly_

Matt looked down at the last words Kelly had written. He remembered the pact that he, Andy and Kelly had made when they had started working together at 51. Kelly had transferred over

from Firehouse 36 for squad experience and the day he walked into 51 he saw Andy sitting at the table, Andy and Kelly had been friends since school, and he remembered Matt from the Academy, and they bonded and over time had become closer than friends, they had become brothers. And he knew he couldn't get away from this. When Andy died, Kelly and Matt's relationship had become strained but after awhile they became close again.

Gabby was the first to react to her husband, Matt had tears rolling down his face, she was touched by Kelly's words and knew that now more than ever that her husband knew of the love that Kelly had for him and what he had done to ensure that Matt would return home to her and the children. Gently she enveloped her husband in a hug; he put his head on her shoulder as quiet sobs wracked his frame.

Seeing her parents embracing and crying, Eliza jumped off her aunt's lap. Sylvie let the little girl go, knowing that the words that Matt had just read out mirrored the words that Kelly had left for her. Eliza weaved her way through her crowd of aunts and uncles to her parents and wrapped her little arms around their legs. Slowly, more people came over to the family and soon, everyone was hugging in one giant hug, all remembering the man who laid his life down, so his friend and brother could live.

Matt raised his head off Gabby's shoulder and slowly everyone moved back, Matt bent down and picked his daughter up tenderly kissing her forehead and handing her to Gabby. Donna Boden saw that Matt needed both of his children and so she made her way over to the little family and handed him the sleeping girl she was cuddling. Kellie opened her eyes when she felt herself being moved but when she saw her father's blue eyes her chubby hands reached out for him and he took her willingly into his arms. He breathed deeply the smell of fresh clean baby and closed his eyes sending a silent prayer up to the heavens to his brother, he made a promise to live and love each day as if it's the last and that his sacrifice was not in vain.

Matt would forever be grateful to his friend and brother for the sacrifice he had made and he knew within himself that if Kelly had been in his situation he would have done anything to save him anything at all because he was his brother. Matt vowed to make sure that his heart would always beat, beat for Gabby, Eliza and Kellie and most of all beat for the brother who sacrificed himself so that his brother could live, the one he would never be able to forget.


	26. Epoligue: Always

**Hello people, it's been a very long time!**

 **I know I know, I am also very disappointed about Mon not coming back for a season 7, but there's still hope you know? She didn't sign for an entire season, but she still could act for several episodes? I have a theory about all this and I hope it's a good one enough to see it on screen (pretty haughty, right?). And if not, then... FANFICTION STORY IS PENDING!**

 **I don't have much time to write and read stories for Chicago Fire, as I am on a big Hawaii 5-0 story (a big crossover with NCIS Los Angeles and MacGyver), but I did this epilogue especially for you a couple weeks ago. My beta had some trouble to give it back to me (still like you though Gikkas) but here it is now, all corrected and sorted for all of you who were waiting for this finale.**

 **I hope you will like it! Have fun reading this couple words ^^**

* * *

 **Four years later...**

It was finally summer and the whole Casey family had decided to enjoy their vacation out of Chicago, to go back to nature and stay in the woods, all in desperate need to relax and recharge. Matt and Gabby had inherited the cabin that Kelly had taken great care to rebuild and renovate and now it was their way to escape the stress of the city and a place to relax and unwind.

Matt had wanted to take time before returning to work as Battalion Chief of Firehouse 51, not that he didn't love his job and the men and women who worked under him; they were not only his co-workers but friends and family, but Matt had to also look after himself and his health. Even if he didn't want to admit it to anyone else, he wanted to take care of his daughters, to pamper them and love them and by doing this, Gabby would be able to return to work as she had desired to after her maternity leave. Actually, a part of him was jealous of Gabby as she was home to see all the mundane things, scrapes and bruises, fights and laughter; all the things he had missed before life blew up and was changed forever. Matt had realized life was short and no matter what, he wanted to be there for his family. He had lost so much and never wanted to blame work or circumstance again, and no one blamed him for wanting to take some time.

The sun dipped lower in the sky but the temperature had not dropped in the slightest, and it was the heat that had convinced Matt, Kellie and Eliza to cool off in the shallows of the lake while Gabby was preparing dinner. Fortunately for the Casey family, when Kelly had rebuilt and renovated the cabin, he had put in the little luxuries of modern convenience such as electricity and air conditioning. And if it was not for the air conditioning, Gabby would have abandoned cooking for playing with her family in the cool water.

Gabby looked out the window; she could see her two girls laughing and splashing in the water. They looked so happy. Matt was laying on his back in the water, just floating, unaware that he was about to be ambushed. Gabby was certain that he knew he was about to be attacked but was playing along with the girls as they prepared to attack, pouncing on their "unsuspecting" father.

Eliza was 12 years old now and was a beautiful young lady and a perfect combination of her parents. She had Gabby's latino complexion but had her father's eyes; a deep azure and her hair a blend of Gabby's own dark brown and Matt's blonde and they now reached down her back. She was an outgoing child who had the uncanny ability to see through to the heart of the matter, so much like her mother. Kellie, on the other hand, was the enigma: if it was not for the certainty that Matt was her father, she could have passed for a mini Kelly Severide. Kellie had midnight black hair that fell in curls down her back and her eyes were a midnight blue and sparkled.

Kellie climbed onto her father and gently traced the pink scar that traversed his chest, smoothing her fingers over the puckered skin over and over from top to bottom. A frown crossed her face

"Daddy? What's this?"

"This? Well, uh..."

Matt didn't know what to say. How to explain to a four-year-old girl that he had been badly injured and that the heart she could hear beating in his chest while reading her bedtime wasn't his?

"Kellie, this mark is the beginning of your story."

"My story?"

"Yes, your story!"

Matt couldn't help but smile; his memories of that moment shared with Eliza about his scars at the time were still intact in his mind. Yes, his older daughter was right.

"You want me to tell you this story?"

"Yes, yes! Tell me a story!" Kellie asked with a giant smile on her face.

"Okay, well... First of all, you know that mama and daddy work with firefighters."

"Huhuh."

"Well... Five years ago, Some... Some bad guys hurt daddy, and... And his heart stopped beating."

"You gotted hurted daddy? What about the doctors?"

"Yes, sweetie I got hurt badly. And... The doctors couldn't fix daddy's heart, so his best friend gave him his heart."

"But... But daddy, if your best friend gave you his heart, it means he went to Heaven with the angewls?"

"Yes. Yes, he did."

"But why he did this, daddy? Why he gave you his heart?"

"He did this for you, sweetie."

Kellie couldn't understand. She was probably too young to understand the meaning, but Matt wanted her to understand what the story meant.

"When my heart stopped, mama just heard that you'll be coming soon into our lives. And... Kelly, my best friend, didn't want to... me to not meet you. So... He gave me his heart."

"Kelly? That's my name!"

"Yes! We gave his name to you. Because he's my hero, my best friend and my brother. This scar here, this is how your story started. Without uncle Kelly's heart, I wouldn't be here with you, with your sister. With your mama."

"So... Unca Kelly's heart is boom boom for you?"

"Yes, it is! And it never beat stronger than today. And you know why?"

"No."

"Because this heart is beating for you and your big sister? And for mama. It's beating for all of us."

"So, Unca Kelly is wif the angewls for me?"

Matt couldn't help but smile. His daughter was so innocent, so cute.

"I have a scar too, for the beginning of my story!" Eliza said proudly.

"Yeah?"

"Yeah! Just right there!" his father started by showing her his right hip. "Daddy had this scar when mama and I were on a call, and the house fell on the top of us."

"Did you get hurted?"

"Yes, but it was worth it. We had your big sister after that. And now, we have you."

"And soon, there will be Awen!"

Matt smiled again and turned to the cabin. Gabby had heard the entire the conversation her husband had with their daughters, and she looked down to see her belly before putting her hand over it. Today, it'd been six months since her pregnancy had been revealed, a little boy, and they both had wanted to call him Allan Ramon Casey, in tribute to his two grandparents. Eliza Andrea Casey, Kellie Shay Casey and Allen Ramon Casey. Three children named after the heroes of the family. Three children protected by Heaven. Three children filling their parents with joy. Gabby smiled, staring at Matt, who was watching her, and both looked up at the sky.

 _Kelly... This family I've always wanted, I have it now thanks to you... I love you. Always_

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 **AN:** **So, what are your thoughts about this story? Did you like it all along? Something isn't right? You missed something? Tell me all this in a private message or a review ^^**


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